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Copyright 2008
The Numpties
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George Bush & The Village People Scammer

I'm saving the best for last here.

The banners, photos, songs and videos below are from a bait where a numpty scammer sent me an email, unfortunately, when he sent his email to me, he included all of the other the email addresses that he had sent his email to in the TO and CC fields of his email, one address stood out like a sore thumb, the idiot had sent an email addressed to the president at the official White House domain name :), I thought it only right that I should spoof a reply from that email address and reply to him as if I were the president :)

It all started off with the email below that a known Nigerian scammer called Iyke Mbaegbu had sent out, this scammer was already known to me prior to receiving his email, he had played a part in a Nigerian 419 scam in which an elderly US couple lost all of their money, when the victims had no money left to send for the other fees that the scammers demanded, this scammer and his gang persuaded the couple to sell their camper van to pay more fees, the victims were left completely broke because of the scam. Due to the scammers being in Nigeria, there is not much that can be done to them through legal avenues, so, I thought he should get some payback this way!

I persuaded this scammer to remake the Village People's YMCA song, he first did an African version of it, the video was a bit strange, but the song was pretty good, he also did a US version like the original, which is pretty damn good/funny, whichever way you look at it. I then had him do a remake of Cliff Richards song called, Summer Holiday, and the video to accompany the song, he got that wrong so he had to make it twice more until he sort of got it right, in the end he had to hire a large red coach to sing on whilst pretending to drive it, and finally, I got him to re-enact the bus hijack scene from the Dirty Harry film, for which I sent him the script for the scene, that was really good and proper cracked me up watching this numpty on video :)

My initial reply to the scammer was back in December 2006, it's now April 2008 and I am still just about in communication with him, although the bait is now coming to an end after 16 months, below is the whole bait from start to finish, including every email sent and received, but keep looking in to see what happens as I will update with any new emails received.

TITLE: George Bush & The Village People Scammer
SCAMMER NAME: Iyke Mbaegbu
SCAMMER LOCATION: Lagos, Nigeria
SCAMBAITER: Scam Patroller

I am George W Bush, my emails are in green text.
The scammer, Iyke Mbaegbu, is in blue text.
The music producers secretary, Brandie Love, is in brown text.
My notes or comments are in black or highlighted in red text.

PLEASE NOTE, there are 7 image links on this page that contain complete nudity, and are not suitable for viewing if you are using a computer at work, also, if you are under 18 years of age, DO NOT view them, the images are marked in red text above them so that they cannot be clicked accidentally!




This was his first email to me.

Subject: PLEASE HELP ME
To: president@WhiteHouse.gov

A FREIND, THIS MAIL MAY COME TO YOU AS A SUPRISE, BUT I TRUST MY MIND AND BELEIVE THAT I AM WRITTING TO THE RIGHT PERSON.

MY NAME IS IYKE MBAEGBU, I AM 33 YEARS OLD, SINGLE AND POOR ONLY BECAUSE IREFUSED TO ACCEPT AN OFFER FROM MY TOWN PEOPLE AS AN ORACLE PREIST WHICH MY FATHER CONFIRMED AS BEEN INHERITTED FROM THE PAST FATHERS.

I HAVE TRIED MY BEST IN LIFE TO COME UP AS A MAN BUT ALL EFFORT ALWAYS PROVES NOTHING.I WAS MADE TO UNDERSTAND THAT EITHER I FACE THE WORK OR I BECAME MORE WRETCHED.

I HAVE MADE A CONVENANT WITH GOD THAT I MUST LIFT HIS NAME HIGHER MORE FOREVER THROUGH SINGING CHRISTIAN ALBUMS AND SACRIFYING MY LITTLE TALENT IN CHRISTIAN LIFE ACTIVITIES THAN SACRIFYING ORACLE.

THEY SAYS: {DESIRE GOOD ACHEIVED LEADS TO SUCCESS IN LIFE} I NEED YOUR HELP TOWARDS THIS MISSION.

I WOULD LIKE TO ENTER MUSIC SCHOOL,AND AT THE SAME TIME STUDY BIBLE FOR SPIRITUAL UPLIFTMENT.

NB:-READ THIS CHAPTERS IN THE BIBLE AS FOLLOWS:- PSALM 128 AND 127 FOR 7 DAYS AND NIGHT, YOU ARE GOING TO COUNT A BIG BLESSING FROM GOD AND IF TOUCHES YOUR MIND TO REMEMBER THIS POOR SOUL, FELL FREE TO CONTACT ME THROUGH THE EMAIL ABOVE.

WISHING YOU THE BEST IN LIFE

REMAIN IN GODS PROTECTION AND GUIDIANCE.

YOURS IN SPIRIT.

Iyke Mbaegbu





Not wanting to let such a good opportunity pass by, I decided to spoof an email to him from the Whitehouse addy, I replied to him, giving my private email addy to reply to.

From: president@WhiteHouse.gov
Sender's Name: George W Bush
To: xxxxx@xxxxxxxx
Subject: Re: PLEASE HELP ME

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, it came to me as a surprise.

I am very interested in learning a lot more about the oracle handed down by your past fathers, is it a very powerful oracle? As the President of the United States of America, I have great power, and such an oracle would be of great use to me in fighting the axis of evil.

I see from your email that you have made a pact with God, well I believe that God has brought us together for the common good of all men on earth, this can only be fate. Like you, I also have a great interest in singing, I am a good Christian man and sing at the White House church service every Sunday, some may say I am not very Christian, but that's only because of my Job as President of the United States of America, a lot of people hate me, but I have no time for those losers, we are the winners, they are the losers. Please tell me in detail, everything you hope to achieve in your life.

When you reply to me, you must only ever use my personal email address, this one:

xxxxx@mail2president.com

Never send any emails to my xxxxx@WhiteHouse.gov address from where I am sending you this email now, that is strictly for presidential use only, and I may not receive your emails as they are strictly monitored by my chief of staff.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Soon after, Iyke Mbaegbu sent a reply to George Bush :).

Sir,

Thanks for your mail although is been long i wrote to you.

I Will like to study more about music notes and also will like to have my own personal music Instruments.I worship now with the Holy Family church in Lagos as a chorister and will like to continue to serve God with this talent untill my death since God has given me the talent to serve him with than to Worship the Village Oracle.

I have a cultural group in which i am their leader but we dont have money to take this to the level i want it to be.

I am very much happy to hear from because you are the world leader weather the Muslims want it or not,God will give you long life and strenght to fight more against all the terrorist world wide.

Thanks a lot sir, I am very happy to hear from you,

Wishing you Great and Prosperous new year.

Best Regards,

Iyke Mbaegbu





I sent him a reply and asked for some photos of himself and his group.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, happy new year to you and your family as well, I hope you have a prosperous 2007 and beyond, but not if I can help it.

You brought up the subject of muslims in your email, and as you point out, whether they like it or not, I am the most powerful man on this planet, they seem to think I hate them, but they are very wrong, I have many friends who are muslims, only the other day I was at a muslim wedding in the state of Texas, Texas being one of the biggest muslim strongholds in the US of A, and it's also my home state, I am also the secretary of the Texas muslim society.

The wedding was a grand affair, and the bridesmaids looked cute in their black outfits and veils, I even gave the bride away, I had to, she is not a pretty woman and nobody would buy her, none of the muslim related things I do are reported in the press and they think I hate them. But on a more positive note, Saddam was hung recently and he will now be rotting in hell and acting as Satan's bitch, I am sad to see him go, but he was really asking for it, so he got his just rewards, I hope he enjoys it in hell.

Iyke, please tell me more about the xxxxx xxxxx church in Lagos, and more importantly, I am very interested in learning about the cultural group, of which you are the leader, I just knew from the tone of your emails that you were a leader of men, what does your cultural group do? Do you have any photos of yourself and your group that you can send to me? It would be nice to see who I am talking to.

As a born leader, have you ever thought of running for president in Nigeria, anyone would be better than Obasanjo, he is a crooked man who does nothing for his people, you should run for office and I will help you if you need it, when are your general elections, if I remember correctly, aren't they this summer?

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Iyke has replied to the president, he couldn't have understood the quip in my email where I said I hope you have a prosperous 2007 and beyond, but not if I can help it :).

My Lord,

Thanks for your mail.

Just as if i am on top of the whole world,Comunicating with PRESIDENT GEORGE BUSH OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.It is a respect to me i mean it.Thanks once more again.I Repeat,Almighty God will give you more strenth to continue your Good works on Earth Amen.

Saddam is gone,He deserved to die after all his worst doing and i pray that such people like him will all be cauth and give the same judgment he got.

Yes i am a Chorister Attached to xxxxx xxxxx Catholic Church Festac Town Lagos Nigeria.I like singing to Gods Glory since i have the talent and i thank God for the talent than to worship Village Bushit Oracle that can fetch me nothing to Survive.I am planning to go into my very first Album with my proposed wife to be(She is a chorister too) an album huh, maybe I can introduce him to Luther Vxxxxx of Cxxxxx Records Inc, to do an upbeat rap version of some god music, hmmm lol :) but here in Nigeria,Is the Rich will continue to be richer while the poor will continue to be poorer.Money is all that can move all this waisting Ambition but i beleive Knowing you will make my Dream Come true.I Will send to you by Email Attach A group picture i had with some of My group members not all but that will let you know whom you are comunicate with.

I cant be able to run for any post here in Nigeria regarding politics.Here the system is so Bad that only the evil ones go for such things.I cant rule Nigeria,I am not a retired General and not only that,I am not well educated and also cant be able to follow up their Ritualist way before you will be allowed to Context for.

I am intrested in the music Of a thing and will be happy if you can assist me in that.I want to Attend Bible School and will be happy to have a Ministry that will be known as Musical ministry were children who has the talent will be educated more to know.

Once more i thank you for the time you create to attend to me and i pray that Almighty God will give you long life to continue your good ways.

My Regards to you and your family.

Have a nice day,

Iyke Mbaegbu





At this point, it was decided that my friend and music producer, Luther Vxxxxx, would want them to perform a new version of the Village People's best selling song called, Y.M.C.A, and try to get the lad and his choir dressed up as the Village People whilst singing it on video.

I had not replied to his last email, so he has sent me another long rambling email titled true confession, unfortunately for him, he mentions Pope Benedictus as being the world leader, good job then that I also bait scammers as the Pope, might come in handy later on, as GW knows the Pope very well lol :).

Subject: True Confession

My Lord,

How are you today once again?Each time i write to you something always strike my mind to let me know that i am one of the Lords chosen one though Difficulties never allow me to concentrate.From the day i was born,I was given the name xxxxx by my parents which means Power of God.I do short name it and answer xxxxx,

My Father is No 1 among three only survival of his parents out of 12 children as according to African Style.I was born to be the very first of My Fathers children.My Grand mother already let me know that Before my father was born to stay,Them his parents went to many Big Oracles to plead for him to stay alive and went into a covenant to dedicate the child to serve them back.My father who is also a fluit player when he was young told me that the fluit is made to worship those Oracle than to abandon them.

I have tried many things in my life both bad and good to succed but very difficult.Many men of God has always told me to work in the way of the Lord but i always ignore their advise.I am 35 now and wonders how i can go back to a seminary school to start a preist hold mission.They will not allow me.I think of the Musical ministry which is sort of Healing people with music.My Father Mr xxxxx xxxxx was among the people that went to Israel on a pilgrimage from Nigeria Troop which saw Gods Mission in our family life history.

I love doing good things for Gods Glory but looking for money has made me at times go against Gods Way to satisfy what i need at a time. I wonder what he means by that, surely not 419 fraud, must ask for clarification ;) This is a confession.If here in my country,that things are been done well,At least My parents would have been capable of knowing were i belong ealier than to push me were i dont belong.I started with organising Children for rosary prayers at the age of 4.It has been all my desire to continue with such attitude but my parents never allow me to work were i belong.They prefer me a business man by Then but today i have achieved nothing in life at the Age of 35.

My Lord,I will be happy to held a ministry in life as the founder even though i am not chanced to be Educated but i beleive that what is in me is greather ,than what is in a Man.I need to be Spiritual Uplifted,To Command evil through Gospel Music.

I will Scan the Picture i told you as soon as i got it from the Choirs store keeper.I will tell you more of the xxxxx xxxxx Catholic Church in Festac Town Lagos Nigeria were i belong as you requested. I am a sinner but right from the day i received your email after two days now, God has touched me to listen to the Advise those prophets told me past years ago. you will definitely get loads of help and advice from me you mugu twat lol

I do ask my self if is really true i am talking to real GEORGE W BUSH OF UNITED STATES.Well i know you as the second World leader after Pope Benedict I was a bit worried for a moment there, thought he was going to call me a faker lol and as such knowing fully that God has decide to raise a pillar that will be set as an example of light to all nations of the earth.My words sounds to me like words of Vission at times but i never find out exactely what i mean untill an events that looks like what i thought happen.

I beleive Gods time which i am about seeing,

Thank you once more,

Best Regards,

Iyke Mbaegbu





I left it for a few days before I replied to him, I didn't want to appear too eager and I am a very bust president, when I replied, I mentioned about my music producer friend and his need for someone to make a cover version the Village People song, Y.M.C.A.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, sorry for not replying to you sooner, I have had a lot of work to do concerning certain congressmen who are making things difficult for me, but everything has now settled down.

I was a bit surprised by the subject of your last email, namely, "true confession", let me tell you, I read your email and I can see that you are now an honest man, although there are a couple of items from your email that peaked my interest, and I quote you:

"I have tried many things in my life both bad and good to succeed"

"I love doing good things for Gods Glory but looking for money has made me at times go against Gods Way to satisfy what i need at a time."

Would you please explain to me what things you did for money that made you go against God's way to satisfy your own needs? Please be as honest as you can, if it was something illegal, don't be afraid to tell me about it, you are not the man you were then and I will not hold it against you in any way, but you being honest with me is of paramount importance!

As you mention in your email, you are now 35 and have achieved nothing in your life, you probably feel like a loser, but I can feel the winner in you, sometimes you have to lose before you can win, winning is not everything, so don't feel bad about being a big long time loser.

You mentioned before that you were interested in making an album, well, I have some friends who are big producers in the US music industry, I have chatted to them about your musical interest, and they seem interested, there is just one problem, they are not looking for someone to make an album of choir songs, this music producer works with people like 50 Cent, Eminem and other major stars or rap, r 'n' b and soul, he tells me he has a special project going on at the moment that he needs help with, have you ever heard of a song by a pop group called the "Village People", they had a bit hit a long time ago with a song called "YMCA", do you know that group and the song?

Well, this is what's happening, the music producer is looking for a group to perform that song and to release it on CD as a cover version of the original song, I told him you are a singer looking to make music and that you have other singers over there in Africa who work with you in the choir, I have asked him to grant me a personal favour and let you be the one to sing this song, so this is what he has suggested, if he sends you the lyrics for the song, and a link so that you can listen to the original song online, would you like rehearse it and send him some tape recording of you singing it?

If you can do that, there is every chance he will choose you to record that song for him, and he will fly you to the US to record it in his studios, as the performing artists, you would be entitled to a large % of all sales of the song sold on CD in the US, and also when it is distributed world wide, would you be interested in doing this?

I am going out of my way to help you in any way that I can, and I had to ask the producer a personal favour to get this for you, so let me know what you think about doing the song.

One last thing, there is no need for you to keep addressing me at the start of your emails as, "My Lord", please call me George, the only difference between us is, that I am the President of the United States of America, and you are not, we are both men, just flesh and blood in God's eyes.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I got a reply and it looks like this Iyke Mbaegbu is well up for the Village People gig LOL :).

Dear: President George W. Bush,

Thanks for your mail and I must let you know that already you have filled my heart with my desire in life. I am just already just like winners too. Thanks a lot for your much concern.

Yes I have tried many things in my life both bad and good to succeed but I can see now that Gods time is the best.

I have tried business, Buying and selling from my age of 22 to 26 but could not achieve anything for four years rather I lost all the money's, I have tried stealing by picking pocket at the bus stop which friends I met along my way of trying to look for the next survival work introduced me to but one day I nearly be a victim of circumstances which I really know from that day that God loves me to stay. Most of the guys that introduced me to the rubbish fast way they call it are all died today when they refused to listen to Gods advise. There are many bad intentions that do come my mind one way or the other to make money but I see that if one is very fast ahead of his or her God, You will be tired of running but if you allow your God to be first ahead of you then victory is yours.

I thank God that I am a victor today and I believe this is the right time God has decide to Bless me through you. Man is God To man at times and I have seen today the Goodness of Gods Glory. May everlasting Glory and Praises be unto his holy name Amen.

I don't know the Group you called "Village People" and their song called "YMCA" but like you asked if I will be interested to have lyrics for the song on line. Yes but I will like to have the Complete Write up of the Music Notation and the words First and will like to listen to it probably them sending the tape to me via DHL Courier Services so that I know what I can do next.

If I may ask, are my going to sing this Music alone or with My Group? Are we going to use the Local Instruments you see in the picture or the English Complete band? Like I told you before, I have a proposed wife to be although we are just friends for now who sings too, I have my Immediate Junior Brother who sings too and we all are path of this group but already we have Some Gospel Tracks not Choir stuff that we have put together and were looking for the day of opportunity to go into recording.

This one is Gospel Music, which I believe that those producers too will be highly interested to assist us even though we are not up to the level of 50 Cent and others you mentioned. But I must tell you that I have the interest of the one you are trying to Organize for in which you too will include in the Group.

I am not interested in the % of a thing as you mentioned but I am interested in asking my self if this is a dream or what? Look only you granting me entry in the States is just like the Beginning of the Wining Story. I must not forget to thank you once more. Thank you very much, I appreciate all you are trying to do and I pray that Our Good God who has listen and answers to my prayers will keep, Protect, always Guide and give you more Knowledge to continue your Good work.

You may sounds to be right in telling me to address you as George not My Lord. Yes we are just the same Flesh and Blood as you said but Man at times may turn to God to another and that is what I just feel out of my Happiness.

I stop here so far, Attach are the Pictures you asked for,I am the person you can see there playing the drum and in the Group picture,I am still carrying the drum and was laughing to Gods Glory.

Can't wait to be in the United State of America.

Long Life and Gods Blessing I wish you.

Iyke Mbaegbu

And this is our lad holding his drum.





Again, I left it several days to reply to him, I am a very busy man after all, I was about to reply and saw he had mailed me again.

Dear:Excellency,

How are you? Hope you received My Pictures. What is the next Step as i wait to hear from you. Knowing fully that you have many to Attend to. Plead do create time to Attend to me as you have already raised my hope so high.

I wait to hear from you.

Have a nice day,

My Warmest Regards,

Iyke Mbaegbu





Not wanting to let him down after building his hopes up so high :), I sent this reply to him.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, again, I must apologise for not replying to you sooner, I have had a tremendous amount of work to do, mainly concerning recent events in Iraq, so I am sure you can appreciate the delay in getting back to you.

May I thank you for explaining your past as a common pickpocket and thief, I promise not to hold that against you, because you seem to have turned a corner in your life now, you attend church regularly and are a Christian man who sings in the choir, I am certain you have paid for some of your sins, and you will no doubt be paying for a long time to come.

I have had another chat with the music producer, and he is very interested in what you wrote to me, as in, when you asked if it needed to be done using local instruments or an English band set up, well, although he wants it played in the traditional band style, he would also like to hear you singing it whilst accompanied by your local instruments, he feels that you merit the chance to submit the song in both styles!

He has asked me to send you the lyrics to the song called Y.M.C.A, just for your reference, Y.M.C.A stands for "Young Men's Christian Association", the Y.M.C.A has 45 million members world wide and they are all fans of the original version performed by the group called the "Village people", here are the original lyrics sung by them, these are the same lyrics you will use to make the new cover version:

Artist: Village People
Song: Y.M.C.A Lyrics

Young men, there's no need to feel down
I said, young men, pick yourself off the ground
I said, young men, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy

Young men, there's a place you can go
I said, young men, when you're short on your dough
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

(Chorus 1)
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel

Young men, are you listenin' to me?
I said, young men, what do you wanna be?
I said, young men, you can make real your dreams
But you've got to know this one thing

No man does it all by himself
I said, young men, put your pride on the shelf
And just go there to the YMCA
I'm sure they can help you today

(Repeat chorus 1)
Young men, I was once in your shoes
I said, I was down and out with the blues
I felt no man cared if I were alive
I felt the whole world was so tight

That's when someone came up to me
And said, "Young man, take a walk up the street
It's a place there called the YMCA
They can start you back on your way"

(Chorus 2)
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
They have everything for young men to enjoy
You can hang out with all the boys
YMCA
It's fun to stay at the YMCA
Young men, young men, there's no need to feel down
Young men, young men, pick yourself off the ground

(Chorus 3)
YMCA
And just go to the YMCA
Young men, young men, I was once in your shoes
Young men, young men, I was down with the blues
YMCA
YMCA
YMCA
YMCA

Please note that the Village People are dressed as different characters portraying men from different parts and jobs in society, the 6 members of the group are dressed as:

Native American Indian
Soldier
Construction Worker
Police Officer
Cowboy
Biker Dressed In Leather Clothes

The reason they are dressed as they are, is to show the world that the "Young Men's Christian Association" accepts men of all kinds, whether you be a native American Indian, a builder, or a police officer, it is of no concern to them, they will help anyone who needs help.

The original Village People have their own website here:

http://www.officialvillagepeople.com

Take a look at the photo archive page on the website, it shows them on stage at many of their tour dates in their costumes.

The music producer wants you to view the video, then use your initiative to make your own musical arrangements, you can read through the lyrics which have to be the same as the original song, but the music can be your own style using traditional English band instruments and a second version using your local instruments, he wants to see how versatile you are at making music as well as singing.

One other thing, obviously, you can record yourselves singing and send the taped recording to the producer in the states, but just as equally important, is for you and your band members to be dressed like the original Village People as listed above, so it will be even better if you can all dress up in the required costumes when you perform the Y.M.C.A song, then video yourselves singing and send the video to the producer, this is a golden opportunity for you, Iyke!

I note that in your email, you said you were not interested in a % of the sales of any subsequent CD's, but do you know how much money we are talking about here that you are giving up? The sales of the song you perform will sell tens of millions of copies world wide, and not only will you get a % of the sales that will make you and your band members comfortable for the rest of your lives, this will also be a launch pad for you going on to making gospel albums with your choir, this is such a great opportunity for you.

I have attached a couple of photos of the Village people that were sent to me by the producer, one is their album cover and the other is of them on stage during their tour, so that you can see how they dress, maybe you could print the images to show to your choir/band members so they know what is required.

I have a lot of faith in you, xxxxx, and I really am going out of my way to help you in any way that you can, it is not very often that I reply to unsolicited emails like the first one that you sent to me, but having an enquiring mind, I read it, and now we are at this stage, it goes without saying, that once you have done your audition video for the producer, he will want to bring you to the United States, and with the position I hold, I will take care of all your visa's required for entry in to the United States, I will rush your band members visa applications through so that there will be no delay, and you can pick them up from the Embassy in Nigeria when they are ready, so please don't let me down with the music video and the costumes, I would hate to look stupid in front of my close friend, Luther Vxxxxx, the music producer!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.

I attached these 2 photos for him to see what the Village People look like:





I got a reply from Iyke, I was hoping for a longer and more positive response, but hey, at least he is trying :).

His Excellency,

Thanks for your mail.Really i know you must be a busy man and as such i am not in any way unhappy for you not replying sooner.

Once more i do Appreciate all your effort to prove me a rejected Pillar that today about to be a foundation Stone of the House.

Thanks once more. One important thing i will like you to know is that i will try my possible best while the rest will be in Gods Hand.I beleive he was the one that started this Good Job and he will be the one to Finish it as well. you think this is a good job, oh dear, you're in for a surprise, laddy lol

I will get back to you after my Negotiation and meetings with My group members and will get back to you if there is any thing we lack to understand.

My Warmest Regards to you and your Family.

Gods Protection i always wish you Amen.

Iyke Mbaegbu





There have been no emails from this lad since his last one above which was 8 days ago :(, I am thinking that after the meeting with his choir friends, he/they have sussed out that he was being baited, so I sent him a short email asking how he is and not sure what sort of reply I would receive, if any at all.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Good day to you, I have not heard from you for some time now, is everything ok with you?

The music producer is eager to know how you are progressing with the Y.M.C.A song, please get back to me as soon as possible, have a nice day.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Much to my delight, Iyke replied the same day, now the awaited subject of funding for the video/costumes etc crops up, it's a nice email though :).

His Excellency,

I still thank you for the interest you have shown in me all these while. I just want to make sure that I understand the structure, magnitude, and what it will require to make the assignment you have given me a success. I have taken my time to look at the site and have seen a lot of motivations. I have also seen that it is something that requires a lot of comittment, custumes, talents etc., which I will never disappoint.

I have had a discuss with my choirmaster and other members of the choir.They were very interested and happy to be given such an oppurtunity to shoe case their talents.

However,the catholic church in Nigeria has her own way of doing things. If we would want to use the church in producing the video, they, seeing it as a business venture,will not like it. All the members of the choir (including the choirmaster) are not paid in any form.All things are done in the service of God.Why I am saying this,having seen the good work before me, is that the funding of the audition videoing,the recording,and the custumes will be expensive over here.Though,as of the time I am writing this letter,I have not known the excact amount, but, I am working towards it.It only in this aspect that I am very handicapped!

I wouldn't want to disappoint myself (and you) by not utilising this once in a life's time oppurtunity. I want to make sure that I bring out the best of the 'Village-Africa' in the YMCA! I know the capability of my choir (especially, my Choirmaster).We have already started making plans to start reharsals.We have downloaded the music,listened to the lyrics...,we shall give it the African touch!And also as you directed in your last mail to me.(American Style)

We shall never diappoint you. Only that the finance is where the problem lies.Futhermore,I think we would be talking about the % when we have really made sure that this wonderful venture would be a reality.

I will stop here,His Excellency.Untill I hear from you again.

May the good Lord continue to strengthen you as you furge ahead in leading the American nation to greatness.

God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





It's time to start turning the screws a bit, and dispel the notion that he needs funds to complete the task, initiative, initiative, initiative is needed, not funds, I replied to him.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

I was waiting with baited breath to hear from you again, I'm glad to hear you are keeping well.

It's good that you looked at the Village People site, it really is a truly inspiring website, I can remember when they released the Y.M.C.A song in the 1970s, it was a massive hit, one of the biggest selling records of all time, and as you can see on their website, they still do tours and perform to large crowds some 30 years later.

That is why this is such a golden opportunity for you, xxxxx, I know for a fact that one of the Village People band members owns a $30,000,000 (THIRTY MILLION DOLLARS) home in Malibu and another huge ranch and home in my home state of Texas, I visited both homes for parties a couple of years ago, they are very wealthy people due to their musical success, and I have every confidence that you can progress along the same lines as them when you record the Y.M.C.A song cover version.

It warms my heart to know that the members of your choir are so interested in this opportunity, and whilst you may think you are struggling with money for costumes and videos etc, think only of the future, in as little as 2 months from now, you and your choir could be in a US recording studio making your dreams become reality.

On the subject of coming to the US, do you and all the choir members have passports? As promised, I will fast track all the visa applications for you all to make sure there are no problems with entering the US, and I can supply you all with presidential invitational passes to make your transition through customs a smoothe one.

All that you need to do is get your passports in order, what I will need for the visas and the invitational passes, are the names, addresses and dates of birth of all the choir members who will be travelling to the US, along with one passport sized photo of each member.

I have spoken to the record producer, and he tells me to tell you that you need not go to great expense in making elaborate costumes that are exact replica's of those worn by the Village People, he says you are to use your initiative to make them using normal everyday clothing.

If I was in your position with such a golden opportunity, nothing would stop me from reaching my target, for example, the Red Indian costume is easy to make, all he is wearing is some furry boots, a head dress of feathers, some feathers across his chest and Red Indian war paint on his face. The cowboy is wearing normal everyday clothes such s jeans and a shirt, a cowboy hat and a gun and holster, which you can buy from any toy shop for pennies.

The construction worker is wearing normal work clothes, all you need is a hard hat and a tool belt with some work tools, which most people have at home anyway.

The police officer wears tight white pants, black boots, black jacket and a motorcycle helmet, all easy items to get for nothing, at worst, you might have to borrow a motorcycle helmet.

The soldier is wearing kharky clothing, which you can buy very cheaply in any army surplus clothes shop, or borrow from a friend in the army.

The biker is dressed in all black leather with some metal chains hanging from his clothes, whilst it is best if you use leather, it would be expensive, so use normal all black clothing.

The expense to make these costumes is very minimal considering the huge amount that you have to gain from it!

I understand where you are coming from concerning your church calling it a business venture, but it is not a business venture, in any case, your church does not need to be involved in this in any way, it appears that you are only using your church for the benefit of using their video camera, so it would be worth your while hiring a video camera for the day or borrowing one from a friend, do not let the church hinder your and the choirs musical ambitions, will your church feed you for the next 30 years? No, but your musical talent will feed you and you family for generations to come!

Both the producer and I are very much looking forward to hearing and viewing your first audition video, may the Lord praise you and guide you in your musical renditions.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I got a reply from him, he is still mentioning that financing is needed to make it perfect, boringgggggg, he's a twat.

His Excellency,

Thanks for your mail.I will need to have another meeting later today with my choirmaster/members.

I will be printing the email you sent out to show them again so that we know plans ahead and how we can follow up things.

Will get back to you after the meeting but Finance is really needed to pefect this venture here honnest.

May God Bless you and your family.

Have a nice day,

Sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu





After my last email, and his reply asking for financing again, things are now going brilliantly, he has sent me this reply saying his last email was sent in haste :), what I like about this particular bait more than even seeing videos etc, is the fact that so many of his close friends at church are going to be so fucked off with him when it all falls apart, I love thinking about that day bwahahaha :).

Your Excellency,

Thank you so much for your mail.The mail I sent in reply was done in a haste.It is now that I have digested all that you spoke of in your most recent mail after I discussed with my Choirmaster.All the explanations you gave were well understood.The only thing we have to really use is our initiative.

Where we cannot find the 'normal'clothens of the characters,we have to make up with what is affordable over here.For instance,the biker might look a little bit different from the American biker...He will be an African biker!Ha!Ha!Ha!So shall it be in the other characters.Just like my Chiormaster,I like challenges...We have already started preparations.

If I may ask, Your Excellency,

{1}what shall be the maximum numerical strenght of the choir if we are to be in the US to make our dreams come into reality?

{2}When would the names,addresses,and dates of births of all the chior members who would be making the trip be sent to you?

{3}When the first audition vidoe is made,through what means would we send the package to you?

We shall make do to the best of our ability.May God continue to guide us all;protect us all from all dangers.May God grant you the wisdom to continue to lead the people He gave to be under your care.May He give you the strength of mind and body. Amen!

Untill I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I replied answering his 3 questions, I told him to bring as many singers as he wants, the more the merrier, and the more people that will be pissed at him at the end of the game lol :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you your email, it was a pleasure to hear from you again, and I am glad that you have seen the light concerning using your initiative to make the costumes, remember that the US is a land of great opportunity, and opportunity is taken by those who use their initiative, that is why people prosper here.

I will answer your questions in brackets after your questions:

{1}what shall be the maximum numerical strenght of the choir if we are to be in the US to make our dreams come into reality? (The number of people in your choir is not a problem, whether it be 5, 15 or 25 people, they will all be catered for, you should not leave anyone out if they are an important member of the choir, you need to be at full strength and will need all of your usual choir members with you for maximum vocal effect) I can just see him getting all of his friends to join the choir to bump the numbers up so they can get to America, oh the pain when it falls apart bwahahahaha :)

{2}When would the names,addresses,and dates of births of all the chior members who would be making the trip be sent to you? (The sooner you can get me all of those details to me, the better, there is a lot of paperwork to fill in with regards to visas and presidential passes, and we do not want any delays at a late stage)

{3}When the first audition vidoe is made,through what means would we send the package to you? (Once you have finished the video, I will furnish you with the address of the producer for you to send it to him, it would be best if you were to send it via courier with tracking, if you send it via normal mail, there is a possibility that it might get lost, and all of your hard work will have been for nothing, a courier is of paramount importance for sending things like audition videos)

Iyke, I am very much looking forward to seeing the African biker you mention, I have never seen an African biker before, are they similar to US bikers, what do they dress like?

I will have to stop here for now, I have a very busy day ahead of me, I look forward to hearing from you again soon, once again, well done on using your initiative, that shows me you are a man of great inner strength and a go getter.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I have mailed him again, asking for some photos of work in progress on the costumes etc, they are needed for inside of the CD cover etc.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Further to my previous email, I have spoken to the music producer, and he would very much like to see some photos of the work in progress on the making of the Village People costumes and rehearsals, he is very excited about seeing the end results, and in particular, he can't wait to see the African version of the biker that you told me about. As well as seeing the work in progress photos out of curiosity, the producer wants to have the photos printed in a pull out inside the CD cover, it will show people the work you have done to make your dream a reality, which in turn, will endear people to you, and therefore increase sales of the Y.M.C.A music CD.

The producer and I have very high hopes for you and the choir, it is not often that someone as dedicated as you comes along, and I am happy for you that you have grasped your opportunity with both hands.

One other thing, in your last email, you said:

"{2}When would the names,addresses,and dates of births of all the chior members who would be making the trip be sent to you?"

Please remember that it is not just names, addresses and dates of birth that are required, I will also need a passport sized photo of each choir member, they are needed for the presidential passes, I did mention that in an earlier email, this is just a reminder in case you had forgotten about that, since you didn't mention it in your question.

How are the rehearsals coming along, I trust everything is going as planned?

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





It's been about 6 days since he replied to my last 2 emails, apparently, he's been busy :), I must say, this is going terribly well, here is the email he sent today.

Your Excellency,

I would have written to you earlier than now, but, the great opportunity you gave to me demands a lot of attention. I always want the best irrespective of the fact that the best has not yet arrieved... not untill now anyway!

We are trying very much to make things very African still retaining the nucleus of the music of YMCA. We are precisely in Lagos. Hence, we have to go to the village to get all the requirements that will put all the custumes into place. So, by the time we finish all the actual lay downs, we will then start the main rehearsals.We will be sending scanned pictures to you and other things that show our progress.

I haved taken note of the reminder... I did not forget at all. I know how to obey instructions. I will be keeping you informed as things progresses.

May the good Lord continue to keep you and strenghten you always.

Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I replied to him, I'm trying to find out the number of people he has got involved in the project, and how many are coming to the US to record the song.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for the reply and update of the current situation, nice to hear that you are paying so much attention to detail to make the best of it, it's not every day that someone gets an opportunity like this, I just knew from the beginning that I had found a very enthusiastic person in you, and you have not let me down!

Just out of interest, you say you have to go to a village to get the costumes made, what is the village you talk of and why are they making the costumes there?

I find it ironic that you are getting village people to make the Village People costumes, very ironic indeed, I told the producer about it and he laughed out loudly, he likes that idea, he said it will be another good selling point for the CD once you record it and it goes on sale.

You mention that you are making things very African in the Y.M.C.A song, please remember that whilst the producer wants to see an African version of it, there must also be a traditional version as well.

Could you give me a rough idea of the number of people you have helping you with this project, how many choir members will be singing the song, how many are making the costumes, how many will be coming to the US to record it etc.

As I told you before, the choir needs to be at full strength for the US recording, so feel free to bring all the people that you think you will need to accomplish it to the highest of standards, there are no restrictions on number of singers/musicians you can bring to the US, but I would like to have an idea of numbers as soon as possible, so that I can set the wheels in motion preparing the paperwork.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Oh dear, it seems some members of his church are putting doubts in his mind about this whole thing, the choirmaster asked is he sure he is communicating with the real president, bastard GRRRRRRR, of course I'm the real president, I got the same name and everything, cheeky fuck LOL, I do like the amount of people he has got involved in the project, though lol :).

Subject: THE GOD OF MYSTERY!

Your Excellency,

I am always happy reading your mail. Did you sing in the church today? Today is sunday... You know? I still thank you for your reply and I appreciate the questions you asked. I will take them one after the other.

When I talk of the village, I speak of the hinter lands where nature is still being respected so much. Lagos has been westernised so much that some natural things can not be found here. The villages are nearer to nature and closer to the real culture of the people. We have chosen to call this venture 'THE VILLAGE AFRICA'! Being nearer nature, being real village Africans can bring another confirmation of the true meaning of what the YMCA SONG is talking about.

It is not that we are getting the village people to make the custumes. No! We are making the custumes ourselves, but getting the materials from the village.We are just using our initiative. Truelly, the song YMCA is really telling the story of a true life experience most empoverished third world countries(myself inclusive... probably this is just a coincidence!!!). The Local intruments will go with the village settings, while the English band will be more Americanized to the best of our ability. The two versions will be rendered as you instructed. We want to make it look real African and at the same time preach the gospel of "not allowing oneself to surpressed with the hazzlles feeling down.

Your Excellency, I just have my Choirmaster and some members of the choir assisting me as of now. But, there was a question my Choirmaster asked me today as we were coming out from the church... He asked? "I still don't believe it that MR PRESIDENT is the one you are relating with... Are you sure he is really the one we are dealing with?" This question has been disturbing me since then. I know as he voiced this out, the others will also be haboring such question in their minds. the choirmaster is pissing me off, next thing he will be asking for a phone call to see if it really is GWB, I should be able to get around that as this is not something I normally do, and it could cause me trouble blah blah blah, and in any case, he wrote to my presidential email addy didn't he

Sir, what excertly do I tell them? I do know that the God I worship works in a mysterious way, but this one is greater than what I actually expected for this I am so grateful to you.

The numerical strength of the choir is 40; Costumes 12; Technicians 3; Musicians 12; Costumeier 3; An engineer... 71 in all. that's nowhere near enough lol, imagine having 71 people on your case calling you a twat when it goes tits up, they might even bury him in a shallow grave because of this, bwahahahaha lol :)

Your Excellency, I really hope this number will not be too much for you to foot the bills. I will, however, get you the comprehensive list and other requirements needed for the paperworks as we progress.

May the Good Lord continue to give you wonderful health of mind and body. God has blessed you already.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





My plan is to eventually get them all to travel from Nigeria to Bouake airport in Ivory Coast, which as another safari lad that another baiter and myself are baiting, told us (after he waited for me at Bouake airport for 7 days, and another 4 days travelling their and back) is now under UN control, and he had top cross 3 country borders, along with about 20 other borders guarded by militia and army inside Ivory Coast because of the war there, so, being a UN controlled airport, I can send Airforce One to Bouake airport to pick them up LOL :).

Ok then, lets see how much he really wants this gig, I tried to put the onus on the choir masters suspicions as him possibly being jealous, and offering the lad to pull out completely if he doesn't feel comfortable doing it any longer, I hope he doesn't call my bluff and pulls out :(, but I very much doubt it.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

I have to tell you I am mighty offended at the insinuations made by your choir master, is he actually aware that you were the one who initially contacted me on my official White House email address? And that I replied to you from the very same official White House email address that you sent your email to?

I find it quite proposterous that he would even suggest you are not in contact with the real George W Bush, the facts are clear, the facts are precise, you emailed me at the official White House email address, and I replied to you from that email address, you are the one who emailed me asking for help, and I have gone out of my way to help you as much as I can, I am a man of compassion and a man of my word, I will help people who choose to help themselves, to better their lives and the lives of the people around them.

I have absolutely nothing to gain from helping you, I will not be making any money from your musical career, I am merely helping a fellow human being wth a God given talent for music. The only thing I can think of concerning your choir master, is that he may be jealous of you, jealousy is a very bad thing, it can destroy people, it drives people to say and do things that they would not normally say or do, so maybe their is a hint of jealousy within the choir master, after all, your destiny is in your hands, as is his destiny in your hands!

xxxxx, I have no ill feelings towards you at all, every man is allowed to speak his mind, and all you did was pass on to me what was said to you, I never shoot the messenger, and you are merely a messenger of the spoken words to you, I thank you for your honesty in telling me when something is on your mind.

As I have stated previously, there is absolutely no financial gain, or any other type of gain for me in helping you, and should you wish to cease the production of the Y.M.C.A song because of what your choir master said to you, then that is completely your choice, nobody is forcing you to do this, it must be your choice to complete the task, or not, as the case may be.

I am sure there are many other groups who would be only too willing to take up the task of singing the Y.M.C.A song, the only reason you were offered this big chance, is because of my close relationship with the music producer who is responsible for finding new artists such as yourself, and he accepted you on my say so after I had conversed with you over several emails, and came to know of your musical ambitions.

I have informed the producer of the latest developments concerning what you wrote to me about, he is eager to know if you still wish to complete this project as he does not want any delays, so whether you wish to continue, or if you wish to pull out all together, please inform me as soon as possible, so that I can let the producer know and he can then find suitable replacement artists, time is of the essence.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I knew my last email would do the trick, all is now back on track and the choir master even apologised for doubting me :).

Subject: WITH MY RESERVED APPOLOGY!

Your Excellency,

First and foremost, I am stating categorically that I am still interested in the singing of the YMCA song.

However, Sir, it is not that I am defending anybody, but, the statement made by my Choirmaster was as a result of what obtains in my country Nigeria. This is a country that is highly maladministered by a government that is highly insensitive to its citizens.

It is a country where only when one belongs to the rulling class that the one can be able to be assisted even without merit.It is a country where the poor have to fend for themselves even when the rich and the rulling class are making use of the natural resources that belongs to them(the poor). It is country where no one has freedom of speech... be outspoken and face the gallows. All these has made the average Nigerian to be hardened. So, bringing in lack of trust.

So, in Nigeria( as of now), for a President to go out of his way to help anybody in the lower class is just impossible! When, I mentioned this email to my choirmaster, he was very sober saying that it wasn't what he meant; that he was really wondering with the situations of things in Nigeria that a President can really be caring as to help someone whom He has never met; that Nigeria really needs serious prayers, devine intervention. He also asked me to appologise in his behalf; that he never meant it that way, that it is really a marvel/mystery compared to our country; that he was simply overwhemled! now when the shit hits the fan, he is going to feel an even bigger mug, all his friends will hate him lol

Your Excellency, we are really preparing very seriousely. We know that what is demanded of us is really a great task indeed. We also know that this will be an awesome oppurtunity through/ by which we would be lifted from poverty to somebody. I can not thank you enough! I will not disappoint you. We shall be sending you the pictures of the rehearsal as we progress. In no distant time, we shall be sending in the names, adresses, dates of birth, passport photographs, etc.

So, Sir, do not be mighty offended. I appologise. A child in the dark can never know what happens in the day light untill it experiences the day light.So, Sir, do not be offended. The Lord who began the good works in you will surely bring it to fulfilment. The Almighty God will continue to use you to bring peace, serenity, hamony to the whole world and goodwill towards men lowly like us. I pray that one day the Almighty God will give Nigeria a good leader like you who will be ready to make life better for the people of Nigeria.

May good health be yours. May wisdom be yours. I wait to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have replied to his email, I mentioned a bit about 419 fraud and people in the US being very aware of it, he might spread the word that Americans know all about 419 now :), I also mentioned about the FBI and CIA working undercover in Nigeria, that will come in handy when the bubble bursts, because if I can get them all to travel to Bouake airport, I can then say I sent Airforce One home after getting info from my undercover agents that implicated him in 419 frauds, he will of course deny that, so to prove himself, he can make some banners protesting his innocence if he wants to :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for email.

I have a very busy schedule today, as I do most days, though I do have a few moments to spare to send you this email. Please tell your choir master that I accept his apology, not that an apology was not really needed from him, he is a man who is allowed to speak his mind, as is any man.

I very much understand what you have said regarding the people that govern your country, and why you might be suspicious of someone wanting to help you, but I am not Nigerian, I am a US citizen and we do things differently here, and if you remember, in one of my early emails to you, I said, and I quote:

"anyone would be better than Obasanjo, he is a crooked man who does nothing for his people"

Holding the position that I do, I am very well versed in the goings on in Nigeria and most countries of the world, I know exactly what the Nigerian government is like, I know there is a lot of fraud in Nigeria, and that high ranking officials in government and local politics skim large amounts of money from funds meant to be used for the good of the people, it is theft on a large scale that is being swept under the carpet by those in power!

On the other hand, it is not just the Nigerian government at fault, corruption and fraud are rife in Nigeria, it's all part of daily life there, I am sure that living in Nigeria, you have heard of 419 fraud, where scammers send millions of emails every year to people all over the world in the hope of scamming them out of their money, the actions of the vile people who perpetrate these scams also destabalises the whole Nigerian economy, it results in nobdody wanting to do business with Nigerian's because of the actions of the scammers, simply because legitimate businesses don't know if they are dealing with an honest Nigerian business or a scammer.

I do everything in my power to protect US citizens from the 419 fraudsters who try to prey on then, infact, just recently, my government published a pamphlet about this type of fraud, and the pamphlet was distributed to every household, school, college and business in the US, it details every kind of 419 scam coming out of Nigeria/Africa, along with many other types of internet fraud, the American public is very aware of these scams now, and we also have tv shows about it on a daily basis. We even have CIA and FBI agents working undercover in Nigeria to stop 419 fraud, they work very closely with the EFCC in tracking the fraudsters.

I am happy to hear that you are working hard on the Y.M.C.A song, as you sow, so shall you reap the rewards. The producer asked me to ask you for a timescale, how long do you think it will be until you have completed the task and produced the video?

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Iyke has replied to my question asking how long the video/costumes etc will take to produce, he tells me the video will be sent on Feb 20th, can't wait LOL :), he wasn't very chatty this time was he, maybe my email all about 419 was on his mind :).

Your Excellency,

I thank you very much for your patience with us and your understanding.

We will, by the special grace of God, send the tape in 13 days time... Precisely on the 20th of this month(february, 2007). We are making sure that we give the best of our ability in the productions.

We are also going to send the names, addresses, dates of birth, passport photographs of the participants before the above date. I thank you once again.

May the good Lord continue to guard and guide you.

AMEN.

Yours sincerely,

xxxx xxxxx.





There have been no emails since February 7th and I have not mailed him since then either, I hope he hasn't changed his mind, most likely, he is very busy making costumes and rehearsing songs :), anyway, I dropped him a line to see how he is getting on, I also wanted to see if I can get him to upload the video to his computer, and send it to me via a file sharing website, it will be a lot easier that way, but if he can't get it on his computer, I have had a couple of offers of help to get it online.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, I have not had a chance to reply to you until now, I have been quite busy, please accept my apologies.

I was at the home of the music producer for dinner yesterday, it was just an informal affair, we had a lovely evening. During dinner, I gave him the latest update that you told me about, stating that the video will be ready on February 20th, and he has given me some information to pass on to you.

He says that, due to time constraints, and the fact that he has to travel to the UK to do some music production work in Manchester for Robbie Williams, he will be in the UK from February 16th through to February 27th.

As a result of this, he would like you to upload the completed video to your computer, and then upload it online via a file sharing website, that way, he can access it and download it instantly as soon as you have uploaded it, he is going to send me an email with screenshot images giving full instructions on using the file sharing website to upload it to, and I will pass those on to you as soon as I receive them, all you will need to do is upload the video on to your computer.

How are the rehearsals and the costume making coming along, I trust that everything is going smoothly with the preparations? I am very confident that you will do a fantastic all round job, I have spoken to many people here about you, and trust me when I say that I speak very highly of you, they are all eager to hear your music, and in addition to that, I hope that once you have recorded the song in the US, that you would do me the great honour of performing live at one of our White House functions?

Iyke, I have had an idea which will be of great benefit to you and to needy people, if it's alright with you, I would like to take the very first Y.M.C.A song CD that is produced, and have every member of your group sign it, I will also sign it, as will the producers and everyone else involved, we can then auction that CD to the highest bidder on eBay, with all the money raised from the auction going to African charities, you can choose which charities will benefit from the money, I think that would be a mighty fine thing to do, would that be agreeable with you?

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I am getting a bit worried about not hearing from him for so long, not overly worried, though, as he has had periods of 8 days (twice) and 7 days in between replying, it's now 9 days since his last email, so I sent him a short email for an update.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

I have not heard from you for quite some time now, have you received the emails I sent to you and are you alright?

It's not like you to be this quiet, I know you are busy with rehearsals etc, but it would be nice to have an update so that I know you are well and have not come down with some kind of illness.

I sent you one email explaining that the producer will be visiting the UK, and I sent another email which included screenshots and full details on how and where to upload the video for the producer, did you receive those emails?

God bless you, God bless America and Africa.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





It's now 12 days on from his last email and he has finally replied :), phewwwww, he's been busy rehearsing, I love this email, he has got the singing down on CD ready to send, but no full picture video yet, apart from clips of the rehearsals, hmmm, think I will get him to send this lot via courier for now, and then he can send the full video when it's finished.

Your Excellency,

I will have to apologise for the lateness of this mail. We have been very busy with the rehearsals and the recording of the YMCA song... we now have the singing on CD! And, Sir, it is a real piece of music to listen to.

We are now ready to present it. We also have the passport photographs ready with the clips of the vidoe of the rehearsals. How do we get all these across to you?

We are, however, having a little problem. You instructed that we should upload the music into my computer. Unfortunately, I don't have a computer. I normally use a public computer in sending and replying mails. So, I think the best way for me to send the requirements and the music to you is through courier.

Most importantly, you mentioned in your last mail to me that you sent a mail before this last one which included screenshots and full details on how and where to upload the video for the producer and asked if I recieved it. I didn't get it. I am also worried about that.

However, we are very excited with the wonderful suggestion you gave about the auctioning of the CD to the highest bidder on eBay, with all the money raised from the auction going to African charities! This is very wonderful of you! So, I, of all poeple will have to be someone who would be giving a helping hand to the less priviledged! I really look forward to such a wonderful thing. I really appreciate such a suggestion.

Your Excellency, we are taking a lot of caution in our preparations. These blessings that are coming to us through you is really overwhelming.... Imagine my friends and I preforming in the White house in the presence of the strongest man on the planet and his right men... Well, I will only thank the Lord God for His goodness to mankind and for creating such a person like you. no, the good lord has created a monster LOL :) We will always try our best to make sure that all that we do will be a show of hard work, showcasing talent, culture and entertainment. As I told you above we have finished the recording of our voices but we have not done the video. Should we go ahead and do it or should we send only the clips from the rehearsals that we recorded with a friends ,videoing manchine?

The Lord God will continue to bless and keep you. You even have the time to ask about my health. I am very ,much okay. I am only busy doing the assignment you gave me to do. May the Almighty God give his wonderful graces to lead the great people he placed under your care. Amen.

Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I want the CD disc and the video clips sent as soon as possible via courier, hopefully, he will have a full video in Y.M.C.A costumes for me at a later date, but this stuff will do for now, gotta get something from him at this stage in case it goes tits up at any time, it will be nice to see the rehearsals even without costumes :), I have sent him this email.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

It sure is wonderful to hear from you again, I was very concerned about you after not hearing from you for so long, I even prayed for your good health in case you had fallen ill!

Well, from the contents of your email, it looks like you have been working very hard on the song, and that explains your not emailing me for some time, you are showing a lot of dedication to this task, I am extremely proud of you and all that you are doing, it's people like you that make a difference to this world!

Can you confirm what you have done so far, if I am reading it correctly, you have a voices only recording of the Y.M.C.A song on a CD disc, and you have some film of the Y.M.C.A rehearsals on a video cassette, is that correct? Are you wearing the Y.M.C.A costumes that you made on the rehearsals video?

I do know the producer would like to see video footage of you performing the "completed" Y.M.C.A song on video, apparently, it is important for him to see you all in your new costumes whilst singing the full version of the song, he also has asked if you would all be ready to travel to the US at the end of March for the recording of the song?

In the meantime, as I told you in a previous email, the producer is currently working on some music tracks in Manchester in the UK, he has asked that, for now, can you send the CD disc and the video of the rehearsals to him in the UK so he can urgently view/listen to them, if he can do that whilst he's in the UK, it will save him a lot of time when he gets back to the US, as he has to get pre-production set up, and he will not be back in the US until the end of February at the very earliest, or possibly early March, and with time being of the essence, he needs to see and hear you before he returns here, so please send the CD and video via courier to the UK as soon as possible, the address to send them to is at the bottom of this email.

With regards to the email with the screenshots that I thought I had sent to you, it seems that instead of sending it to you, I clicked the save draft button instead of the send email button, so there is nothing to worry about, it wasn't lost, I accidentally didn't send it, not that it matters now, because as you have said, you don't have a personal computer to upload the CD or video to to.

Here is the address to send the items via courier to in Manchester:

[address snipped]

When you have sent the package, please send me the tracking number so that I can pass it directly to the producer, it is very important that he knows the time of the estimated time of delivery etc, just in case he is out somewhere, he can have someone wait in for the delivery, rather than it being returned.

With regards to the passport photos and details of all those travelling to the US, you can send the passport photos by scanning them and sending them to me via email, I will print them off on photographic paper at this end and get your presidential passes made up as soon as possible.

Iyke, please try to keep me updated more regularly, it becomes difficult if I don't hear from you for long periods of time, but at the same time, I know you are very busy preparing things and do not have access to a computer at home, keep up the good work.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I must say a big thank you to Shiver for letting me use his safe address to have the items sent to, and for offering to convert the video to something viewable online, top man! Although he did try to sabotage me by giving the wrong postcode LOL :), so I mailed the lad again correcting the post code, he has given me further clarification about what's on the CD and video, and says that before he sends it, he will record the full song on video with most, if not all of them wearing the costumes, some costumes are still being made :).

Your Excellency,

I got all the emails you sent including the corrected postcode address. I have taken note of that vital correction.

You wanted me to confirm the extent of the work we have done... Yes, we have the recording of the voices of the song Y.M.C.A on CD disc, and clips of the rehearsals on a video cassette. However, we were not wearing the custumes. But, before sending the items, we will be having a crucial rehearsal where we would wear the custumes... if not all of them for this rehearsals, at least, most of them will be worn. We would try our very best to wear all if logistics would allow us to finish the unfinished ones. We are still having the camera of our friend.

Since the Producer has proposed the end of march as the time he would be ready for us, we will be working towards that time. We have to make sure we tie all the loose ends here and give him the things he want to enable him do a wonderful job. God bless him! By the time I send the CD disc and the video clips to him, I will send you the tracking numbers as you requested.

I will try my very best to keep you always informed of all the goings on. As for the passport photos, etc., we shall do as you directed as soon as possible.

May the Good Lord continue to give us good health of mind and body to do the works he has asssigned to us all; and the strength to carry on. Showers of blessing will continue to shower on you. Remain Blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have sent the lad an email requesting more details about all the people travelling to the US, in particular, I want their email addresses, and the email addresses of their next of kins, I have a plan of what I intend to do with those after they travel to the airport to get their flight to the US on Airforce One at Bouake airport, hopefully, this will all go as planned to make the rest of the plan work.

Upon reaching Abidjan, I will ask him to stay there and mail me before they go to the airport at Bouake, a couple of hundred miles north of Abidjan, at which time, I will have already emailed to notify him that my agents in Nigeria have found him to be implicated in 419 fraud, saying that Airforce One has now left the airport and he is to return home to Nigeria where I will contact him again, I will tell him to give his group an excuse about war stuff in Ivory coast as the reason for the plane not being able to land.

The next part of the plan will involve GWB threatening to email all the members in his church who were involved in singing the song, making the video and costumes and the next of kins, telling them exactly why they are now not going to the US, which is all because of the main lads previous 419 fraud which we have just found out about, I think he might not want all these people to know what I know about him, many of them will probably have no idea he is a 419er, and it might be looked upon very dimly by them all for him fucking them all up, wasting their money and shattering their dreams.

This will be my bargaining chip to have him do something else, he is implicated in 419 fraud, I can prove that to the lad by giving him certain names, and he WILL know what I am talking about and that I know he is a 419er because of that, he then has a couple of choices, which will be revealed at a later date.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for confirming that you received the corrected post code, the producer was in a bit of a panic when he contacted me about it, he said, can you imagine if they sent the CD and video to me with the wrong postcode, all their hard work could have been lost in the post, thank the Lord that he noticed the error before you sent them items!

How are things coming along with the video of the full rehearsal wearing the costumes, have you had a chance to record it yet? Do you have an approximate date for me to give to the producer for when you are sending the items via courier?

Iyke, when I asked you to send me the names, addresses, dates of birth and passport sized photos for each member travelling to the US, in my haste to get things organised quickly, I neglected to ask you for two other important items.

Firstly, I will also need their email addresses and phone numbers, this is so that they can be contacted directly by US immigration in the event of any problems that may arise, not that I expect any problems, but as I'm sure you can appreciate, I have to follow correct protocols, I cannot be seen to be giving preferential treatment to one group over another, it is all a formality anyway.

Secondly, each member will have to give the contact name, address, telephone number and email address of their next of kin. These will be used in the event of any accidents, either during the flight or at any time during their travels to, and in the US. Please send me details of each member formatted like this:

Personal Details.
1) Name:
3) Date of birth:
2) Address:
4) Phone number:
5) Passport photo image

Next Of Kin Details.
1) Name:
2) Address:
3) Email address:
4) Phone number:

Please let me have these details and photos at the earliest possibly time, we only have approximately one month to get everything in order for you to be able to travel at the end of March.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I received an email from the lad this morning, he was ready to send the CD and video tomorrow (February 27th), but he was asking whether to send it to the UK or the US, because I initially told him the producer was only in the UK until February 27th, although on the 20th, I did tell him that he might be in the UK until early March, so that covers me, he will also be sending the email addresses of the group members and next of kins, I am so looking forward to seeing this video :).

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for your mail. I am very grateful. We just had a reahearsal we recorded with our friends cam-coder. Although it was not all that a comprehensive package of what we have in stock, but, we tried to show some of the custumes that we made. Before we are due to come to the USA,we would have done all the custumes and also made the reahearsals to become actual and real. We,however,taped this reahearsal with the former reahearsals we had to make one video.

Sir,we do not know if we would still send the package to the UK as the producer would be going back to the US by the 27th of this month. We want to send the package by that 27th being tuesday, the same day he would be leaving the UK. Where do we send the package to... still to the UK?

The other requirements you metioned are well incorporated.I shall pass the information to the members immediately.As soon as they furnish me with all these infromation,I shall send them to you as you requested.

We are reahearsing very seriously now to make sure that we give the best.We shall never disappiont you.

May the good Lord continue to give you all good health . Amen.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I sent him a reply saying there has been a delay in the UK, and the producer will now be there for a bit longer, so to send the CD and video there as planned, with a bit of luck he will send it tomorrow as he planned to do.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

It sure sounds like you have done a lot of work on the rehearsals and video, I am eager to view the work you have done and to finally hear your great voices. If you remember, the producer asked for some photographs of the rehearsals and costume making, so that they can be used for the CD cover and a pull out leaflet inside the cover, to show buyers of the CD what you did in producing the song, have you taken any photos of work in progress?

I contacted the producer, and he informs me that he will now be in the UK until March 12th, I did say in an earlier email on February 20th, that he might be in the UK until early March, initially, he was planning on returning to the US on February 27th, but as you may or may not know, the music star he is doing work for, Robbie Williams, admitted himself in to a drugs rehab unit due to his dependency on prescription medication, I suppose that is all part of being a major music star and the stresses it can cause, and as you can imagine, this has caused a delay in the work the producer is doing in the UK, Robbie Williams is expected to discharge himself from rehab in the coming week, hence the producers extended stay in the UK, so he has requested that you please send the CD and video to him at the UK address I gave to you last week.

Thank you for confirming that you are getting all the personal details of the people travelling to the US, the sooner I receive those, the better. Keep up the good work, I am extremely proud of all you have done so far!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





It's now March 2nd, and I have not heard from the lad since his email on February 26th, when he asked for confirmation on whether to send the CD and video to the UK or the US. It's not unusual to not hear from him for a week at a time, so 4 days without hearing from him is not a problem at the moment. I have sent him this email with some pasted text from the producer (that's also me), hope he gets his arse in gear and sends the items soon.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

I have been contacted by the producer, he is quite annoyed that the CD and video have not been sent yet.

You emailed me on the 26th stating that you wanted to send them on the 27th, but you were unsure whether to send them to the UK or the US, I emailed you the same day and stated that they were to be sent to the UK, but as yet, you have not replied to my previous emails, you need to check your emails a lot more often than you are currently doing, I did mention to you before about keeping in contact with me regularly, and not leaving long periods between contacting me, as it makes things very difficult if we do not know what you are doing!

The producer stated that you might not be sincere in wanting to record the song, he has a feeling you might be someone just playing games to waste his time, he has asked me to tell you, and these are his words that I have pasted:

"If you are sincere in wanting to come to the US and record this song, you need to send the CD and video to the UK immediately, I do not have time to waste on this project, I need to set up pre-production for when you arrive in the US, if you are no longer interested in doing it or if you are just some kid playing some kind of internet mind games with people, this is the time to tell us, if I do not hear from you very soon, I will find alternative atrists to record the song"

Well, Iyke, there you have it, those are the producers own words, I have gone out of my way to help you to get this music contract, if you let me down, when anyone similar to you emails me in the future, I will not help them due to being let down by you on this occasion.

It is of paramount importance that you email me straight away to let me know what is happening!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





March 3rd, I have been checking my email account every 15 minutes hoping to hear from my lad, he has just replied to me, and the CD and video will be sent on Monday March 5th (2 days time) :), though he has been having some sort of problems with some members of the choir, and not as many will be coming to the US, but that seems to be sorted now.

Subject: VERY SORRY FOR THE DELAY!

Your Excellency,

I am very sorry for the delay. Actually, I would have done as I mentioned in my last mail to you. But, there were certain developments that really gave me concern. Some of the members of the choir started giving me problems, making things very difficult. I wanted to make sure that I know whom I can really work with so that no one of them could become a distraction to me and/or to anyone. I thank God that I have gotten some relief now.

I rushed to the cafe today and saw your mails. I am sorry for the delay. By monday, I will send in the names and other requirements. On monday, also, I will send the songs and the videos to the producer. I will use tomorrow to put everything in order. I hope producer will not be so annoyed by the time he gets the song.

Sir, we would be reducing the actual number of the choir that we previousely sent to you. We would, however, make sure that voices are well balanced to give the real effects as you adviced.

May God continue to give us the wisdom to know the right things to do at the right time.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have sent him a reply, asking that he send me a scan of the shipping receipt and the tracking numbers as soon as he has sends them on Monday, March 5th, I also asked for some information on the problems he was having with certain choir members, I wonder if they fell out over some of them thinking I am not the real George Bush, who knows, will be nice to find out why anyway.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for replying to me at last, do you realise just how close you came to losing out on this whole record deal? You really must start keeping in regular contact with me.

I have contacted the producer and told him you are sending the CD and video on March 5th, please make sure that you do send it on that day, the producer said that there cannot be any further delays in this project, as soon as you have sent it, email me straight away with a scan of the shipping receipt, and also the tracking numbers written down in the email for me to pass on to the producer.

Honestly, Iyke, if I had not heard back from you over this weekend, the producer was going to search for a new group on March 6th, you should consider yourself very fortunate that you have contacted me today, you came within an inch of losing this record deal, the producer was quite annoyed at your lack of contact, now, after hearing from you, he is back to his normal happy self again, all of this could have been avoided if you had contacted me sooner.

I look forward to hearing and seeing you singing, the producer will upload the CD and video when he receives them and send me a copy to view.

Iyke, what exactly were the problems you have been having with some of your choir members, and why have you reduced the number of people? How many people do you expect to travel to the US at this stage?

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





My lad has sent the CD and video today :), it appears this is the African version of the Y.M.C.A only, but he has sent an extra song as well, that's a bonus :), should be good anyway LOL, he sent one email to GWB with another message for me to pass on to the producer.

Your Excellency,

I have just sent the package to the producer. The tracking number is xxxx xxxx xxxx. Form ID number is: xxxx. To get this, one has to log on to: fedex.com (shipping online) . The international billing reference is : xxxxx. However, the scanned reciept is attached with this mail.

Futhermore, before the end of today, I will be sending the data of all the members of the choir coming to the US. I will send you another comprehensive mail in a short while. I just want to let you know (as you directed) of the sending of the CD and the VHs video of the rehearsals to the producer. He should be expecting the package by Wednesday morning - they gave me 2 (two) working days for the package to get to its destination.

Sir, I would want the producer to have this information below concerning the CD and the VHS he will be recieving in no distant time.

Yours Sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.

This is the message for me to pass on to the producer.

Dear Mr. Vxxxxx,

The CD has some information inscribed in the inside cover. The Y.M.C.A. music has a long intro. It is intentionally done... It is just to make room for the intro scenes of the video. When you watch the rehearsal tape, towards the ending, you will see what we had in mind to portray, although not yet perfected at the time of videoing. The VHS video has in its begining our church worship on the very day we were about to start our rehearsals.

You may skip that unless you want to find one or two things that may be useful to you. The actual recording of the musical rehearsals comes after this with some clips of the studio rehearsals.

The rehearsals for the video, with some of the custumes, is toward the end of the tape. There is yet one more music 'BOMBOYETI' that comes after the Y.M.C.A. song. It is just an 'escort'! However, more songs are in the pipeline... songs that, when performed on stage, will make you fall in love with nature!

We had to make sure we touched most of the requirements. But, rehearsals are still going on so that we will be able to produce a world class product. We would also take our time to take the pictures that would be used for the pullout cover in our ongoing rehearsals. If you still want them very urgently, then that would be taken, scanned and sent to you.

I hope, with your hudge expertise and experience, you will transform us into a wonderful group that will be the toast of the world, the beloved of Mr President, and a household music for all fans/lovers of the Y.M.C.A.! At least, we tried to put the African air into it. With your assistance still, we will perfect this job.We hope that by the time we come up, we will be able to give another version of the song in the pop style as you requested. We were incapacitated by instruments, time and especially, logistics.

Do not be angry with us any longer. God bless you!

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.


This is the scan of Fedex shipping receipt, I removed some details:




I logged in to my email and found 15 more emails from him, containing the names, addrsses, phone numbers, email addresses and photos for him and each member of his choir, along with the same details for their next of kins, so far, it's all women, 14 of them who are classed as "soprano" or "alto", he is sending the rest of them tomorrow, only 31 more to go LOL, and then I will have my full amunition of choristers/next of kin email addresses with which to threaten him when the time comes :), I wont be posting their details as they are not known scammers.

Your Excellency,

I would have finished sending in the data of the choir members today. But, the cafe I am working in are closing for the day. The number of the members coming are 45. By tomorrow, I will send you all the remaining members' data. I will also send you a comprehensive mail explaining the question you asked in your last mail to me. <<< he means the questions I asked about what problems was he having with certian choir members making things difficult, should be interesting

I hope you got the first mail I sent today. I will have to sign out now. Till tomorrow.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





He has sent the personal details of all the remaining members who are going to the US, and an explanation of why he had to leave some members of the choir off after falling out with them, some wanted paying and some wanted to bring wives and children to the US :).

Your Excellency,

I tried to make sure that I send across most (if not all) the requirements that are needed. I hope you got all the mails I sent, including that meant for the producer. I also hope you got all the 45 personal data of all the members of the choir coming to the US. I sent them one after the other so that it will be easier for anyone to use them.

In your last mail to me, you asked me why I reduced the number of the members of the choir coming to the US. I had to do excertly that. Some of them wanted me to pay them before they can contribute positively to the rehearsals. When I refused, they started insubordinating, lobbying others to join them. This caused a lot of problems for me and the choirmaster.

But, I had to be firm. I had to explain again to all that wanted to be in this with me, what you told me about being fed for generations to come. I wouldn't want to bring along anyone who would bring disharmonyand distraction to the group both here in Negeria, and especially in the US. Some still wanted me to include their wives and children. When I explained what we wanted, they became annoyed. So, those that theirnames came across where those whose voices, experience and manners won them membership to this particular venture. I would not want to make a great opportunity granted me to be disordered by short-sighted minds. Well, that is what Nigeria as turned her citizens into- survive now and let the future take care of itself. So, I had to take my time in getting loyal minds that I can work with.

Your Excellency, I can not thank you enough for what you are going out of your way to do for me. Whenever I lay down on my bed, I always give my self a pinch to know if I am the one or another person all together. you need to pinch harder LOL It is not that I am yet a professional, but, even at the very moment, what I have experienced so far will help me a lot in my music career not to think of what I will experience if you bring me to this wonderful exposure I see before me. Even the rest of the members involved in this venture are very much excited, looking forward to the greatness of all blessings that is about to come. I will ever remain grateful to you. they wont be excited for long, matey, they might even turn their anger on you LOL :)

I will continue to pray to God for His blessing upon you as you are writing your name in gold on the wall of history; as you are trying to bring peace to the world; as you are trying your best to give the Americans the best that is reserved for them and as you are going out of your way to help poor souls like myself, taking us away from darkness to a greater light! May God bless you and your generations to come.

I will have to stop here for now. Untill I hear from you. God bless America and Africa.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





The tracking number is now working, the Video and CD have been picked up in Lagos, and are on their way to Manchester, UK :)




Time to reply to laddy, letting him know I got all the personal details of the choir members, and getting back on to the subject of 419 fraud and having CIA and FBI agents in Nigeria, along with the great relationship I have with the head of the EFCC, I wonder how he feels when he reads my mails about 419 fraud, I bet his heart races LOL, thinking to himself, will his name land on my desk in the White House at some time, or will he be snatched while he is sleeping.

All these thoughts are being planted in his head and I will mention them once more towards the end of March to keep it fresh in his mind, just setting the scene and players for when his world falls apart, because he knows all I need to do is make a phonecall to the head of the EFCC and he will be in the slammer for years before trial, but hey, I'm a nice guy when I want something, and he might just be able to help me with that something ;)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for the detailed personal information of the group members, it will come in very handy having it in the clear and concise format you sent it in, you are good at writing formats, I sure could use someone like you at the White House, most of the documents I am given by different governmental departments look like fake documents because they are so badly formatted.

Your email concerning the problems you had with choir members was very enlightening, and as per usual, you dealt with it in a mature and controlled manner, that is the mark of a born leader, it's a real shame that you cannot run for president in your country, I know you would perform admirably in that position, and there is no doubt you would be a very honest president working for the people of your country, unlike Obasanjo, who I know damn well is not all that he appears to be, let me tell you something, Iyke, Obasanjo is currently under investigation for major fraud, and once he is no longer in power, the chances are very high that he and a lof of his aides will be imprisoned for serious fraud on a huge scale.

I am quite sure you must have heard of the EFCC in Nigeria? Well, I have a very close working relationship with, Mallam Nuhu Ribadu, who is the head of the EFCC in Nigeria, not only do I work closely with him, he is also a close personal friend of mine, we have talked at length about Obasanjo and the fraud he has been involved in, his time will come soon, and with God as my witness, he will be a fallen man.

As I have nentioned to you before, I have undercover CIA and FBI agents on active service in Nigeria, they are mainly involved in undercover work in association with EFCC operatives, to trace, track and arrest known Nigerian 419 advance fee fraudsters, but they do also have an active interest in government fraud, it is a real big problem over there.

Living in Nigeria, you will probably know a lot about 419 fraud, it's something that happens there on a daily basis, I get at least 150 reports from my agents every day of the week concerning 419ers who are being tracked, we often send in a snatch squads with the cooperation of the EFCC to arrest them in their homes during the night when they are sleeping, if I am given information concerning a particulary nasty fraudster who scammed an American citizen, I directly contact, Mallam Nuhu Ribadu, he makes sure that fraudster is arrested the very same day, and he will be detained on my say so without any hope of getting bail, I know of many fraudsters who have been awaiting trial for between 3-5 years, I really hope they suffer in jail for all the hurt and suffering they cause to American citicens and others around the world.

But, I digress, to the issue at hand, all the details you gave me were passed to the producer, I myself looked at the tracking page, noting that it has been picked up in Lagos, and that it should arrive in the UK on or around March 8th, I am very much looking forward to getting a copy from the producer and watching you perform, I just know you will have done a great job! Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I'm getting excited :), the goods have reached the UK, with a bit of luck, tomorrow afternoon, it will say, delivered, I hope the video is not a big let down, but even if it is truly appaling with crappy costumes, that's not a problem, it might make it better the badder it is, the main thing is, that this has cost him a fair bit of time and money so far and more to spend yet, hurt mugu, hurt.




Delivery is pretty imminent, it's on the delivery van in Manchester :), it is then down to our supreme leader, Shiver, to work his magic and convert the video cassette to something viewable, muchos kudos to Shiver for offering to help me out with this, top man!




Ok, the eagle has landed :), the video has been reviewed by Shiver Metimbers (Shiver is the admin at 419eater.com), the Y.M.C.A song is great, it lasts for 8 minutes and 5 seconds, there is another song included on the CD called Bomboyeti, which is also pretty good. The quality of the video tape was described by, Shiver, as "piss poor", but Shiver is slicing the video up into a few different smaller videos, which will include video of the rehearsals, video of them singing the actual song and some footage of them being interviewed in the street, where the interviewer asking, where they got the idea to do the Y.M.C.A song, he didn't say where the idea came from :)

The scammer had placed this piece of card inside the CD cover:

You can listen to the 2 songs by using these links, the songs will automatically play in a media player on the pages of these 2 links, or you can download them from the page to play offline, the recordings actually sound better when downloaded and played on your own computer media player:

Y.M.C.A Song (note, when you open this link, you sometimes have to refresh the page before the media player box starts playing the song, also, there is a long 1 min 25 sec instrumental intro before the singing starts)

Bomboyeti Song

The total length of the video was 2 hours and 12 minutes, but as I say, a lot of it is poor quality, and in any case, a lot of it is general church choir stuff that does not involve anything to do with the Y.M.C.A song. Shiver tells me that there is some man wearing a crappy Red Indian headdress during the interview on the video :)

Shiver also said, I thought I had come to the end of the video as there was a blank screen for about 2 minutes, but then it continues with them inside the recording studio singing. Not a bad set-up really. They have an impressive mixing desk, and a computer running some kind of music sequencing SW, and sound proof booth it looks like!

I can't wait to see the video uploaded to the net and YouTube :)




I have emailed the lad to let him know about the poor video quality, and asked him to do it again and send it via courier :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

How are you, I trust you are keeping well.

I have received an email from the producer, he received your CD and video today, he sent me a copy of the Y.M.C.A and Bomboyeti songs from the CD via email, I have to say, I loved the recording of the Y.M.C.A song, I have listened to it at least a dozen times, it really is a work of art.

The producer, being a music man, is slightly more discerning than me, whilst he likes the songs in the African style, he would like to hear a CD with you singing Y.M.C.A exactly in the same style and format as it was sung by the original Village People group, he is very unimpressed with the video you sent, he told me it last for 2 hours and 12 minutes in total, and that much of it was very poor quality, his actual words to describe the video were:

"The video quality is piss poor and, by the state of the video, it looks like the cameraman might have been drunk, it was truly the worst video anyone has ever sent me"

It appears you might have used a video that might have been used many times before, which has caused it to be of not good enough quality, he asked if that was the original video you sent, or was it a copy of the master video cassette?

He is really quite adamant that you send a fully clear quality video, he does not want 2 hours of poor quality video with footage that is not anything to do with the making of the song, he simply wants to see some high quality video of you wearing the costumes, doing some rehearsals and singing the Y.M.C.A song in both the African and correct US Village People styles, but it must be a good quality recording using a brand new video cassette.

As I say, I like the recording, but I have not seen the video, and if the producer says it is poor, then it must be poor, bearing in mind that he works in the music industry, not only making music, but also producing videos to accompany songs aired on television, so you should remake the video and send it to him as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





My lad has replied, he sounds just a little peeved, but he's not showing it fully, after my little slap from the producer about the video quality etc, he has agreed to do it all again :) :)

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for your mail. I also thank you for liking the Y.M.C.A. African style song. I know that whoever that listens to that song will like it... an easy going stuff that will make one start thinking the wordings and other things therein.

However, Your Excellency, I had thought that what I should do over here (in Nigeria) is to sing the actual music, that the rest of the mixing and videos will be shot in the US. It is correct that I would have sang the English version as it is in the original style, but, I didn't get it that I would have done all those here. If you could remember, the very first time you gave me the lyrics of the music, I told you that I hadn't the money to fund the requirements then.

You then suggested how I could go about it. I followed your suggestions. I borrowed a cam-recorder from a friend and also told a friend to assist me in the recordings. The professionals I wanted to engage for this job were among those that wanted me to pay them. Probably, that was why the video came out poor... at least, the producer has spoken! I really ran around with the help of my choirmaster and few friends to get to the stage we arrived.

It has not been easy all these while. I only look forward to your admonitions, advices, encouragements to fordge ahead. I do not know how the producer would take it, I would have suggested the remaining part of the song be done in the US... with his great assistance. But, where by he still persists that I should do all here, then I will do them. But, to finish it will take a little time due to logistics. But, to do it, I will surely give my best.

May the Good Lord continue to give us the grace to do the right things always.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





VIDEO UPDATE: Ok, the YMCA video can now be viewed on YouTube, a very big thank you to Shiver Metimbers for all his work in getting this video spliced and uploaded, I didn't recognise it the first time I watched it, but you will see a man on a bike wearing a dress, apparently, that is their version of the Village People's leather clad gay biker LOL :), see the video here:

Scam Patroller vs. The "Village" People - Part 1




The lad sent me an email this evening, I have ignored him since the 8th because of my trip Latin America :).

Your Excellency,

How are you today and did you let the Producer know about my last email? I am waiting to hear from you on his decision.

I cant wait to hear from you on what do i do now.I dont want to lose this Golden Opportunity please.All the Choir members are all exicted getting ready to be in USA.I cant withstand to turn them down.I Write to remind you as you let me know to be keeping long from communicating with you.

I pray that Almighty God will Continue to give you strenth and more blessing to continue your good work.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I replied to him, I had to mention the costumes, well, I pasted what the producer would have said to me if he existed :), I also put the date of his coming to the US back to April.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

I'm sorry for not getting back to you sooner, the reason being, I am currently on a trip to Latin America, since March 8th, I have been in Brazil, Uruguay, Colombia, Guatemala, and now I am in Mexico, which is the final leg of my trip before returning to the Washington on the 14th, it has been one hell of a tiring schedule.

I understand what you wrote in your previous email, and I am in regular email contact with the producer, unfortunately, what the producer wants, the producer must have, I have no control over the musical side of what you and the producer are doing, all I can do at this point, is to offer you encouragement to accomplish your tasks, and as you say, this is your golden opportunity, so please follow to the letter, anything that the producer asks of you!

Further to my last email to you, where I quoted this from the producer:

"The video quality is piss poor and, by the state of the video, it looks like the cameraman might have been drunk, it was truly the worst video anyone has ever sent me"

He has also told me that he was very shocked at the costumes you had made, he cannot make out which character is which, he said he guessed the construction worker due to him carrying a shovel, and the Indian with the big hair, but as for the others, and these are the producers words I have pasted below:

"I have never seen such a collection of diabolical costumes in my entire life, who is supposed to be who? What was that person on the bike doing, please don't tell me that was supposed to be the biker? If it was, it was atrocious, it looked like a transexual wearing a dress riding a bike, NOT a biker, it was nothing at all like what I expected of these people, their costumes would be more at home worn by clowns in a circus, are these people serious about doing this gig? These people need to make proper costumes and send me a damn good clear video before I lose my patience completely with them, if they want to be super stars, they better start acting like damn superstars"

As you can see, the producer says what is on his mind, he does not mince his words, try not to feel disheartened, he often talks like this, it's just his way of getting things done and motivating people, he did mention another important point, as you know, he is currently working on a music project in the UK, he has informed me that because of the trouble with the star he is working with, it has delayed his whole schedule, so instead of it being late March when he will want you all in the US, he has put the date back to April 20th, and apart from his current work, another UK singer has asked him to work on their music tracks, he has asked me to apologise to you for the unforseen delay.

Keep on rehearsing, make some proper costumes and make a clear video for the producer, these things are requirements that the producer is insisting on, and I will always be here to offer you encouragement in what you are doing.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Ok, laddy has sent me an email, says he will do the costumes the way the producer wants them, along with remaking the video and doing the other version of the Y.M.C.A song in the original English singing style :)

Your Excellency,

I thank you for your mail. I am also sorry for repling late to your mail. I had to make some runarounds for the re-videoing and the singing of the English version of the Y.M.C.A song. I want to make sure that I do it to the best of my ability.

Sir, in your mail, you mentioned that the producer will be in the UK longer than he propossed. You didn't mention when he would be leaving to the US. If I finish the video and the recording of the song, where will I send the package?

Please, Sir, the producer didnt understand us in some of the custumes we have already made for the African version of the Y.M.C.A. song. It seems that the prducer is not conversant with the African mode of dressing. Anyway, by the time we are through with the whole music, he will come to understand. Unless he does not want the African artire in its entirety. The characters representated in the video he is having are still the same with its English counterpart. However, I will just do as he has instructed. Only that I beg him of some little time.

I still want to thank you for your encouragements... letting me know of the producers way of speaking(though not mincing words)! I thank you also for this great opportunity you granted me and the choir. The choir menbers are very happy... they always offer prayers to God on your behalf everytime we gather for rehearsals. They are only waiting for the time they would be opportuned to see the WORLD'S NUMBER ONE life! May God bless you!

May the good Lord continue to protect us all from the hands of our enemies. The enemies will continue to be the losers, while we would continue to win. Untill I hear from you. God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Just letting the lad know that he can send the new video to the same address in the UK as last time, Shiver has kindly offered to convert and upload the video again, it should be easier this time, as GWB passed on comments from the producer to the lad saying the last video was too long at over 2 hours, and that all the video needs to show is a bit of rehearsals and the singing of the song.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I have asked the producer about where he wants the new video sent to, and as he told me before, he has extra work in the UK with another music artist, and does not expect to return to the US until around April 10th, so he is asking that you to send the new video to the same address that you sent the last one to, and asked for a time scale of when you expect to be sending it to him?

Just for reference, here is the address to send the video to:

[address snipped]

He has also asked for confirmation about the costumes, am I right in thinking you are making new costumes for the English version of the Y.M.C.A song so that you look like the original artists did?

He also asked about the photos you said you were going to take, which are to be used for the cover and inside cover of the CD when it goes on sale, have those photos been processed and ready to send yet? If you have them now, feel free to email them to me as attachments and I will pass them on to him, I look forward to seeing them.

Keep up the great work you are doing, and please pass my regards on to all the members of the choir, I have listened to the song many times now and I love the sound you all make!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Got a reply from my lad, and he is making new costumes for the English version of the Y.M.C.A song :), he hopes to have the new song and video recorded by next week, all I can say is, roll on next week :)

Your Excellency,

Thank you for your mail. I have been having a tight shedule to make things work out all these while. I would have replied earlier than now.

Yes! We are now making the English custumes. By the special grace of God, it will be ready by the end of this week or latest very early next week. When we accomplish this, we shall take the pictures and send them across. We shall also record the music and shoot the video by next week and also send them across. That is, on or before the 4th of April, being wednesday, we shall send all the requirements that the producer needed. I will make sure that we give the best we can.

It has not been easy but God is in control. I will have to stop here, the cafe I'm sending this mail from is closing for the day. I just rushed in to see if I have a mail and truely as usual, never disappointing, your mail was there! I am very grateful. From the tight shedule you normally have, you still have this time to help a poor soul. God bless you.

May God continue to protect all of us.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





My lad has mailed me, at first, when he mentioned YouTube, I thought he has sussed me out after seeing his video on there :), thankfully, all is ok, he was just worried that YouTube had pulled the Y.M.C.A video link that I gave him to watch at the start of the bait.

Subject: VERY URGENT!!! THERE SEEM TO BE A PROBLEM

Your Excellency,

I know you are having a tight shedule with official works. I also know that had it been you are much chanced you would have replied my last mail to you. I would have written myself before now if not that I am trying to round up the assignment I was given.

However, I discovered that before we should have sang the music, we should have gotten the permission of the Village People. Or, has the producer done that already? I would have asked this question before now, but, my mind has not actually gone to that. What brought this alive was that I was trying to watch the Y.M.C.A song in the youtube website. It was written boldly in red, 'THIS VIDEO IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE DUE TO A COPYRIGHT CLAIM BY VIACOM INTERNATIONAL, INC.! I do not know why this should be so. I also do not understand, is there any other group doing this song? Is the producer aware of this development? I am really disturbed. I know what it means to do a song that belongs to another without the other's permission. I wouldn't want to do things that will bring truoble. This was a site I normally in the past open and watch(enjoy) the music. Now, this! I hope he doesn't see his own video on there LOL :)

Sir, I would want the producer to see to this and let us know if what we are doing is in the right track. As of the moment, we are rounding up things to make sure he gets the required package from us as soon as possible. Only that with this development, I am really disturbed. It will also be very good if I am informed immediately of the findings/oppinion of the producer.

Sir, I still thank you for the assistance you have been rendering us all these while. I have decided to live a life that is blameless. So, that is why this particular turnout is disturbing me. However, we are still rehearsing to perform for you at one of the white house functions as you earlier mentioned, that is after the recordings in the USA. All things being equal, this shall come to pass. We are making new uniforms that will make our performances more charming and relaxing to watch. We are really getting ready.

Till I hear from you, Sir. I really know you are busy as of the moment. May the good Lord continue to give you the grace to forge ahead; the grace to lead the people under your leadership; the strength to the duties that are always there to be done! God's grace is always sufficient for you. You are blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I replied to him, I had read recently about Viacom sueing YouTube/Google, so I told him what I knew, that should settle his mind :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I passed your concerns on to the producer and he got back to me straight away, he said:

Please don't worry, there is no problem about singing the Y.M.C.A song, I have full written permission from the Village People to do this cover version of their hit song, and in fact, one of the members of the Village People will be working closely with you on this project in the US.

As for your other concern about the Y.M.C.A video no longer being listed on Youtube, that is because Viacom International are currently in dispute with Google, who are the owners of the youtube website, Viacom International is a large television company, are they sueing Youtube for infringement of copyright because of all the people who post videos on Youtube, a lot of the video clips are taken from Viacom's television programs without their permission, so they are sueing Youtube concerning that, and that is why a lot of videos on Youtube have now been removed, it has nothing whatsoever to do with the Y.M.C.A song itself.

Well, Iyke, as you can see, you have nothing to worry about, please carry on as normal with your rehearsals and making the new video for the producer, I very much look forward to viewing it, keep up the good work!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Ok, my lad has replied, nice long detailed email :), the new original version of the Y.M.C.A song on CD and the video of them rehearsing and performing it were sent to the today, should arrive in the UK on the 5th of April, he also sent the FedEx tracking receipt and some photos, these costumes are a lot better than the African version they did last time, can't wait to see and here this LOL :)

Subject: ON TARGET... THE BULLS EYE!!!

Your Excellency,

I would have sent you a mail before now, but, I had to take my time and finish the assisgnment. The attached files are the Fedex International Air Waybill reciept and the pictures of the Y.M.C.A english custumes we took while rehearsing.

The Fedex tracking number is: 8608 6200 4275. Form ID number is : 0460. It was packaged about 1230hours(GMT). It was sent to the address in the UK that the former one was sent to. It should be expected to arrive on the 5th of April.

The Y.M.C.A. pictures are seven in number. The producer will have to select from the lot the one most suitable for him. The package contains the recording of the english version of the Y.M.C.A. song and the video of our rehearsals. I hope he will be very satisfied with what we deed this time around. I also hope he will like the music of the song. However, any contructive criticism is always welcome. It enhances growth! I think he is expecting some criticism from the producer, as is usually the case :)

However, Sir, kindly let the producer know that we are still rehearsing. By the time we arrive in the US, he will be marvelled at what he will see. The custumes we made unfortunately was not all that complete, that is, not one hundred % complete. We couldn't lay hands on the police handcuffs. We had to use the traditional(real) Nigerian police uniform. We couldn't also lay hands on the cowboy's toy guns. We searched and searched, but was told that the importers do not bring such items into Nigeria again. Reason, they wouldn't tell us. Apart from that, we tried to make sure that we are very close to the replicas of the original Village People's outfit. We couldn't make the ferry feathers for American indian. We had to do something that will depict the American(now the 'black Nigerian') Indian! I hope this will be okay. Anyhow, by the time he listens to the CD tape and watches the video, he will as usual send them across to you to watch and listen to also. As for the pictures, you will see them before sending them across to him. We are now rehearsing and geting ready for the trip to the US.

I hope work is not so hectic. The Good Lord will continue to give you the strength to forge ahead. I heard over the news that your soldiers are leaving Iraq. Will that make those war mongers and peace-haters to mellow down and live a life that is worthy of a real human being? I know my country is not yet okey, but, an average Nigerian is a paece loving, hospitable, happy person. In the midst of hunger, poverty, distress, discomfort, deprivation of one's natural resource and right, looting of the nations treasury by those in governace, an average Nigerian will always fine a way to make himself happy and keep on hoping that things will one day work out well... even if it takes more than his own life span to work out well! Iran is also there looking for trouble... I do not know what is wrong with these Arabs. Well, a child who says his mother will not sleep, must also be awake to make sure that the mother does not sleep!

Sir, till I hear from you. I missed your mail all these while. I am looking forward to hear from you. May the good Lord continue to guard you. God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.


Here is the FedEx receipt and photos that he sent, they are nice and clear, I can only hope that the new video is half as clear as these photos :), the lad is the one wearing the black Nigerian police officers uniform and cap with badge on it :).











I sent him a short reply, just to say I have passed the details on to the producer, and that I liked the new costumes :)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

It's very nice to hear from you again, I have taken all the details you sent to me and passed them on to the producer.

From a personal point of view, I think the photos you sent are absolutely fantastic, and I am mightily impressed with the costumes you made, they look very authentic, just like the originals if my memory serves me correctly. You sure looked like you were all having a great time in the photos, I just hope that the new video is as clear as the photos, did you use a new video tape and make sure to clean the camera lens, did you have a cameraman who held the camera steady, or did you use a tripod? I would hate for the producer to have the same qualms after watching it if it's poor quality like last one. Where did you get that real policemans uinform from?

I'm sorry for not being in touch as much as I would like to since my last email to you, I have had an immense amount of work to do, not only with overseas issues, also with issues in the US, I wont bore you by going in to all the details about it, I will finish here as I have things to attend to, I hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





The lad said the package would probably be delivered on April 5th, but they must be a bit behind with their work in Lagos, it has only just been picked up there today, the 5th, lazy twats, delivery estimated as April 10th now, only took 2 days last time.





The new video and CD has arrived in the UK this morning (Friday), it's now for release from Poyle, hopefully, it will at least get up near Manchester today, ready for it to be delivered on Tuesday morning.






My lad has replied, he answered my question about where he got the Nigerian police officers uniform from, wait for it..........., he was lucky, he got it off a police officer who is a member of the choir BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :)

JUST LUCKY...

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for your mail.Out of the tight shedulle you are having,you created time to reply my mail.I really know that you are having a hectic time with work.May the good Lord give you His wonderful strength to work with;the good health to live with and the sound reason/wisdom to do a perfect job.

We were just lucky to have a police officer in the choir.Though,he is of smaller stature,he had to borrow my size from a friend of his in the police.However,it was easier for him to get it.The police in Nigeria just changed colors.The one we used was the out going colors.It fitted well. A friend of ours also has a cam-recoder.He knows how to manipulate the recorder.He really tried in the video.The only thing we deed was to redub it into a VHS tape and then send it. All that we used were new tapes.Our friend also deed a good job from our perspective.It is the producer now who will say the next thing we should do.

So,Sir,has the producer confirmed the reception of the package?The package should have reached him by now. The Fedex guys said that it will take two(2)working days for the package to reach its destination.I hope he has gotten it by now.

I will have to leave you here so that you may attend to other matters, hoping to hear from you soon.May the good Lord continue to protect you. God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have sent my lad a reply, I was thinking about asking for the whole police uniform, but settled on asking for the cap he was wearing instead, easier and cheaper to ship, and more likely to send that if he asks his friend if he can have it, also asked for a banner for Reprob8, as the last one I got was bolloxed by the lad spelling Steelers wrong , oh well, he can only say yes or no, if he says no, then he might regret it LOL :)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I have heard from the producer, your package has not arrived yet, I looked on the FedEx website at http://www.fedex.com and went to the tracking page myself, and it says delivery is April 10th:

Tracking number: xxxxxxxxxxxx
Ship date: Apr 5, 2007
Estimated delivery: Apr 10, 2007 by 6:00 PM
Apr 7, 2007 - 12:08 AM - In transit - STANSTED GB

On April 7th it is still in transit from "Stansted", which is an airport in London, UK, the producer informs me that because of the Easter holiday weekend in the UK, and with it being a bank holiday on Monday as well, he expects the package to arrive as per scheduled on the 10th as indicated by Fedex.

I have to tell you, it was a great stroke of luck having a police officer as a member of your choir, having that police officers uniform was a very nice touch, it adds greatly to the photos and the overall look of things, the producer also commented on how great it was to have an authentic police officers uniform on hand for this project, he is impressed by the way you look in the photos and is looking forward to viewing the video.

Iyke, may I ask for a couple of personal favours of you? Firstly, on the subject of police officers, I am an avid collector of police caps and badges, I have over 400 caps with metal badges from police forces around the world, but as yet, I do not have a Nigerian police officers cap and badge, I noticed the police cap you were wearing in the photos has a nice looking metal badge on it, and as you mentioned, that is the old uniform you used, as a new uniform is being introduced, so would it be possible for you to send me the cap and badge that you wore in the photos, I would be delighted to add it to my collection in the display cabinet in the White House!

The other personal favour I wish to ask of you is for a long time friend of mine, I have known him for 40 years and went to school with him, and and it is his birthday very soon, it's on April 24th. Now, I know that in Africa there are some fine silk screen printers who make beautiful printed cloth, I believe the best printers in the world are African, I actually have some silk screen prints in the White House that I bought in Nigeria many years ago.

Now then, my friend is a big fan of the US NFL football team called the "Pittsburgh Steelers", what I would like you to do is this, make a large printed cloth banner for him for his birthday, when I say large, I mean at least 6 feet wide by 6 feet high, and I would like the following words written on the banner:

Pittsburgh Steelers
Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go
If Jack Lambert Hit You, You Would Need Vicodin For The Pain

Jack Lambert was my friends favourite player, sadly, he passed away not long ago. The colours to be used for the banner should be the same colours of the Pittsburgh Steelers football team kit, which are, black, gold/yellow and white colours, I have attached an image for you to see them wearing their football kit to see the colours so that you can match them.

What I suggest is this, you could do three stripes of the colours colour across the banner, and then print the wording over the coloured stripes in one of the other colours, so on the black stripe, do the wording in gold, on the white stripe, do the wording in black, that sort of thing, if you can do these 2 personal favours for me, Iyke, I will be eternally grateful to you!

I will finish there for now, when the producer receives the video, he will upload it and send me a copy to watch, I am very much looking forward to it.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





The new video of the rehearsals and performing of the original Y.M.C.A song, and CD with the vocals on it, have now arrived in the UK :), they should hopefully be on YouTube today (April 10th) or tomorrow :).





VIDEO UPDATE: The admin of www.419eater.com, Shiver Metimbers is currently uploading the video for me, kudos to him for taking the time to do this as well as receiving the items via courier, he has given these screenshots for now while it's uploading, Shiver says they spent about 10 minutes on the video doing all these dance moves, as in the photos below, but when they perform the Y.M.C.A song, they don't do any of the moves, what's the point in that, bloody idiots.




If you want to watch the video, you can see it on YouTube, on this version, Shiver Metimbers has taken the recording of the Y.M.C.A song from their CD and dubbed it over the video perfectly to make it better than the original sound on the video they sent:

Scam Patroller vs. The Village People - DISCO MUGU-MIX!

You can also download the new Y.M.C.A song from this page, you can also listen to it in the media player on this page, but it doesn't seem to play correctly on that site, downloading it will give better and clearer vocals:

Y.M.C.A Song (sung in the original Village people style, sort of LOL) (note, when you open this link, you sometimes have to refresh the page before the media player box starts playing the song)





I have received a reply from my lad about the banner I wanted him to make for Reprob8 and the police cap and badge, he says he would have started work on the banner but for the elections they have there at the moment, it's making people suspicious and it's a dangerous place right now, bloody elections, my friend needs his banner sent for his birthday on April 24th (11 days time).

Subject: I WILL TRY!

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for your mail. I have read over your mail. I will try to do your requests. But, how will I send them accross when they are finished? Where will it be sent to? I would have started on the screen printing job but, because of the general elections being done in Nigeria here, every where(especially in Lagos where we are living) is very suspicious. No one knows what will happen the next moment. Every one is living with fear. Moreover, Obasanjo from no where put two days public holidays and also forcing every one to be indoors. That was the mojor reason why I have not replied your mail up till now. I know if I dont do so today, I may not have the oppurtunity to come over tommorow being the election day proper to send a mail to you.

However, I know that the producer must have gotten the package by now. I had thought that he would have sent a massage accross to confirm the goodness of the video and the English recording of the Y.M.C.A song. His slience is giving me a lot of concern. I request to know what his view is about what we sent him. And I also request to know when the actual production of the song will start in the US. All these information will assist me and the others to put ourselves in order in preparation for the travels.

I have to leave now. There are some fightings reported in some parts of the city. I have to leave so that I will be in the safety of my home before any voilence may erupt. I will, however, be looking forward to your reply so that I will know what next to do.

May the Lord God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have sent my lad a reply, the producer had to have a little accident, because laddy was supposed to be in the US around the 20th, but I need him to send a banner for Reprob8 and the police cap and badge he wore in the video, said it's for an old friends birthday on the 24th, and he probably would have wanted to bring those items to the US with him, hence the accident delay, that's if he can get that cap for me anyway, but I have put the pressure on him by saying I have told people he is sending the cap and the banner to me :)

I have been nice in this email with the producers comments, I don't want the lad to see a negative response at this time, more chance of getting ths things I want if I keep him in positive mode ;)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

Sorry for not getting back to you any sooner than now, there have been a couple of reasons for that, one being that I have been extra busy lately, and the other reason is that I had not heard back from the producer, until this morning that is.

The producers secretary contacted me this morning, she informs me that he was involved in a bad car crash, it appears that he had received your CD and video on April 10th, and he had your items with him when he was on his way to the studio, on the way there, his car was involved in an accident with a builders lorry, his car was a write off and the producer sustained quite serious injuries as a result of the crash, the lorry driver had been drinking and was arrested at the scene of the accident.

The producer is still in hospital at the moment, he suffered whiplash, serious concussion and a broken leg which needed surgery to correct the break, he is now on hospital bed rest with his leg in traction, the secretary informs me that he will be in hostpital for at least the next 2 weeks before they will allow him to move, as any movement could re-open the break in his leg bone and damage it further.

This will obviously cause quite a delay before he can return to the US, which will likely be around the beginning of May, and as a result, it will mean a delay for your choir in travelling to the US, the accident was unforseeable, and we can only make the best of the current situation, but looking on the bright side, at least it gives you more time for rehearsing to make sure everything is spot on.

The secretary told me that there was a bit of damage to your video in the crash, thankfully, it was only the video casing that was cracked and it was still playable after being repaired. He has listened to your CD and viewed the video in his hospital room today, and the secretary asked me to tell you that he loved the costumes, the dance moves and the vocals, he is very much looking forward to working with you all, the secretary also uploaded your song from the CD and sent it to me as an MP3 file via email, you all sounded really great, I am amazed at how well you all sing, personally, I prefer the African version of the Y.M.C.A song you produced, I also look forward to you performing it at a White House function when you arrive here!

As for the personal favours I asked of you, I have gone far and beyond what I normally do to help people such as yourself, I have given up a lot of my personal time to keep in contact and liaise between you and the producer, and to give you this great chance in your life, so it is imperative on your part that the silk screen banner is made as soon as possible, and sent in time for my friends birthday on April 24th, once the banner has been made, please send it via courier to this address:

[address snipped]

Chris Gardocki is a good friend of mine and that is his company address in Illinois, he lives in the same town as our friend who's birthday it is, Chris is arranging a lavish birthday party for him in the city hall, which I will also be attending with my wife, so you can ship the police officers cap and metal badge in the same parcel as the banner, and Chris will give it to me at the party, the banner you are making will be displayed as a surprise in the city hall function room where the party is being held, it is now April 14th, and I have told Chris to expect the banner to arrive in about a week from now, just in time for the party on April 24th, thank you for your help in these personal favours for me, I have told my wife and friends that you will be sending me the Nigerian police offiers cap and badge for my collection, they think you are great for doing this for me!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





A reply from my lad, looks like I will be getting my Nigerian police officers cap and badge, and the Steelers banner for Reprob8 LOL :), the Nigerian elections have been causing problems, so the printer has not done the banner yet, he's too scared to leave his home.

Subject: GOD PROTECT YOU ... L. Vxxxxx!!!

Your Excellency,

I thank you for your last mail.

I would have gotten back to you but the situations of things in nigeria here are not favourable for anyone to move about without some caution. The elections disorganised the whole place. The soldiers were brougth out of the barracks to check on passers-by... and their attitude most times is not favourable for one to venture out anyhow. They thought that there would be riot in Lagos, but, they had the roits where they least expected it. The elections were massively rigged... in actual fact, there were no election in, most places but, it was anounced over the media that those places were voted in and numbers of voters therein. That was the major cause for the protest and violence that erupted in certain states.

However, I heard oveer the radio that there was some shooting at the university in Virginia. Accept my condolence for the souls lost. I do not know why people should embress violence. May the good Lord continue to protect us.

In your last mail, you mentioned of the accident the producer got involved in. I thank God that he was not critically injured. I also hope that he is getting better by now. Please, send him my sincere greetings and get well message. The good Lord will continue to guard him in all his endevours. May he get well so soon.

Sir, I would have sent those items by now, but the situations I was talking of is incapacitating my efforts. The printer that is handling the job out of fear did not go to work for the past two(2) days. I called him on phone, he promised that he will try to be around by tommrow. By God's special grace, by friday, I will be sending those things across. The only thing now is that, I have to be very careful in carrying the police cap/badge with me. The soldiers are even stopping and searching people. I will try my best to make sure that the things are delivered ... only that the date fail in a time that was so tight for me. I will try come what may. lets hope he really has the cap and badge, and is not just saying that, and will then use the excuse of soldiers searched me and took it away, fingers crossed.

Extend my getwell message to the producer. May the good Lord continue to bless you. I will have to leave you now. It is getting late. I would not want to give anyone the chance to molest me on the way...that is the soldiers. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have sent him a reply, I copied some text from an article on the Nigerian elections to paste in to the email to make it look like I have my finger on the pulse, and the producer has had some more problems which might keep him in the UK hospital for a little bit longer :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I am very aware of the elections that are happening in Nigeria, we are watching matters very closely, the government is using the police and army to assist the political gangs that are attacking opposition campaigning efforts.

Last weekends local elections were mostly invalid because of the intervention of the more powerful government backed gangs, and this weekends presidential elections appear to be headed in the same direction, if that is the case, the country will have un-elected government at both state and national levels.

That, plus the usual corruption, could be enough to trigger a long feared civil war, then again, Nigerian politics has evolved into a survival of the fittest contest, and that would mean just another African dictatorship, this is far more common than civil war in Africa.

Thank you for you well wishes and prayers to the producer, I have passed your words on to his secretary. Since my last email to you, he has had some complications, they discovered some swelling in his brain, he had to have emergency brain surgery to release the build up of pressure caused by fluid on the brain, he is now in an induced coma in intensive care in, the comatose state was induced for his own protection to help lessen the swelling, he is receiving the best care possible by the nursing staff!

With regards to the banner and the police cap/badge that you are sending, thank you for your efforts in getting those items to me as soon as possible, I appreciate the difficulties you are having due to the elections, that just makes me think more highly of you for all that you are doing. One thing that will help you is this, instead of having the planned surprise birthday party on April 24th, it has now been put back to April 28th, this is because some special VIP guests who want to attend the party, will not be available on the original date, hence it being put back to the 28th, at least this will give an extra 4 days for the items to reach here, and my friend will still be having a party on the 24th, along with the surprise party on the 28th.

I hope that you personally have a trouble free election period.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





My lad is up late tonight, he just this second emailed me, he only emails during the day usually, anyway, he sent an image of what Reprob8's banner graphics looks like, does that look like it's printed on paper to you? I told him it's supposed to be silk screen printed on cloth, and I'm not sure about that gold colour, I will mail him and enquire if those graphics are a test on paper before it's printed on cloth, and hopefully get the colour changed.

Subject: THE GRAFIX OF THE BANNER!!!!

Your Excellency,

Thank you for your mail.

I would have replied before now but I wanted the weather to clear as per the election going on in Nigeria. Everywhere seem calm as of the moment but very pregnant. Probably, the protests will start by the time the results are announced.

However, I had intended sending the package last friday, but, the president gave a work free day making it impossible. I will have to send them by God's special grace on the 24th. Attached is the grafix of the banner. I hope I got it as you wanted it.

Sir, your discription of the state of the producer really sent some chills down my spine. Over here in Nigeria, most times, if someone is in that state... it will be a different story. All the members of the choir are praying for him knowing fully well that he is in good hands. May the good Lord protect him and make him well. The devil is a laier!

I will still continue to thank you for granting me this wonderful/golden oppurtunity. May the good lord make your life sweet. I will have to leave you here. It is getting late. Untill I hear from you.

Sir, would you please reconfirm the address I will sent the package to.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.

The Steelers banner graphics he sent to show me:

I sent him this photo to copy the steelers colours from, the gold colour he used is obviously far too dark, the printer must be colour blind :), needs to be more yellowy as in this photo:





I have sent my lad a reply about the gold colour and the text that needs correcting.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I was quite surprised to hear from you at such a late hour, I am happy to hear that you are well and that everything is calm in Nigeria, for now. We have been keeping a close eye on proceedings there, and have seen the troubles, including many deaths, God rest their souls!

Tell me, Iyke, upon looking at the banner graphics, the graphics and coloured stripes look like they are printed on paper, are they? You should be aware, as per my previous emails with the instructions, that the banner is to be silk screen printed on cloth, not printed on paper, or was that just a test print you did on paper before printing on the cloth?

A couple of points concerning the graphics and colours, firstly, the gold colour the printer has used is very dark gold, almost brown in colour, the gold on the Pittsburgh Steelers kit is a yellow gold color, as can be seen in the image I have attached to this email for you. Secondly, the text is slightly wrong, for example, you have the text written in lines like this:

Pittsburgh Steelers Here We Go
Steelers, Here We Go
If Jack Lambert Hit You
You Would Need Vicodin For The Pain

It is extremely important that the text is written exactly like this:

Pittsburgh Steelers
Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go
If Jack Lambert Hit You
You Would Need Vicodin For The Pain

The words "Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go" in one line is a chant that Steelers fans sing at football games, they way you have it written on the second line, it would say only "Steelers, Here We Go", which is obviously not the same as "Here We Go, Steelers, Here We Go" and would not fit in with a Steelers chant, can you please correct the text and the gold colour, thank you.

As per your request, here again is confirmation of the address to send the banner along with the police cap and badge to:

[address snipped]

Please keep yourself safe over there whilst the election results are being anounced, I would hate to see you come to any harm at this stage! I don't mind if you are harmed at a later stage, though LOL :)

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Got a reply from my lad, he's in a bit of a panic over the banner, and worried about it not reaching the US in time if he has to make a new one with the corrections I asked for, he has already printed the banner on silk, makes a nice change from cotton, LOL, and he confirms he is sending my Nigerian police officers cap and badge :), I thought the best option was to get this banner sent and then he can make a new one later on.

VERY URGENT!!!

Your Excellency,

Thank you for your mail.

I would have told you in the mail I sent that the banner has already been printed ON SILK! The graghics that I showed you were printed from the computer on paper. But, the main job was done on silk. The graphics was done with the computer.

However, Sir, the corrections you made need another work to be done all together. But, the problem we will be encountering now is time. If we should leave off sending the package tommorow being the 24th, then, the package will not be in the US by the 28th. If we have a longer time to work with, I will ensure that I do great job with the corrections you made. Even as of the moment, I have acquired some screen printing experience... though the printer complained that this was a real tough job for him! Probably, in the multiple colour screen (manual) printings and the largeness of the banner. Even out of haste to cover the time wasted, he made some mistakes in the settings, though negligible.

So, Sir, should I go ahead to print a fresh one? Or should I send the one already printed? Since it is extremely important that the wording runs as you directed, and the colour corrected, which means that we have to make another one, then, what about the time? Would it be extended as well? The police cap/badge is ready.

I would like if this mail is replied as soon as possible to enable me work faster since time is no longer on my side... thanks to Nigerian problems!!!

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I sent him a reply:

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

You are lucky that I saw your email, I was just about to leave as I have to attend a long meeting and would not have seen your email until tomorrow morning. I see the problem with the time scale, you didn't mention in your previous email that it had already been printed on silk, hence my email to you about the corrections if it had not yet been printed.

Obviously, sending the banner on the 24th would be most appropriate, although I am quite torn over the wording and the wrong gold colour, did you not tell the printer it was a yellow gold colour as in the image I sent you at the time?

The best solution now, is to send the banner as it is now, and perhaps you can make the new banner with the corrections for sending at a later date, I can then present the corrected banner to him as a replacement for the one with the mistakes that you have already made, please ensure that you send it on the 24th as you planned, so that it arrives in the US in good time.

I have to go now as people are waiting for me to go to the meeting, I look forward to hearing from you tomorrow, please let me know the tracking details when you have sent it, and I look forward to getting the Police cap and badge for my collection, once again, Iyke, thank you for your help in this matter!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





My lad has replied with the FedEx shipping receipt for the banner and police cap/badge, I don't like what he had to say in his email about the cap/badge with regards to customs and searches, the idiot put a customs value of $130 on the receipt, what a twat GRRRRRR, I just hope to hell they let it through, and that they dont add any charges on for the receiver to pay :(, it cost him N10,437 Naira to send it, which is 40, 60, or $80, that brings his total shipping charges so far to N29,484 Naira = 115 = 169 = $230 LOL :).

Subject: Fedex.Banner.Cap

Your Excellency,

I have just sent the banner and the cap/badge with Fedex International Air waybill. The tracking number is xxxx xxxx xxxx; The form ID is xxxx. It was dated today being 24th April 2007. It will as usual take the normal two working days for its arrival.

However, Sir, this time around, I do not know if they will have to search the package. I do not know what they will say concerning the police cap with the badge when seen. They filled a custom's paper that may attract some custom duty/charges. I had to tell them that the contents of the package are samples. I am keeping my fingers crossed untill when delivered.

Sir, how is the producer doing? I hope he is doing fine and responding to treatment. May he get well soon. We are praying for his quick recovery. God bless him.

I will have to go now. Untill I hear from you. God will continue to bless you as you see to your duties.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.


The FedEx shipping receipt with most details cropped out:





Well, the shipment has been picked up in Lagos, and no mention of customs or any excess charges on the tracking page, which I hope is a good sign, it's due to be delivered in the US on the 27th, Reprob8 is accepting the shipment for me, but he's away until the 29th, hopefully it will be there waiting for him when he gets back:





It's delivery day, the shipment left Lagos with no mention of extra customs fees, phewwww, it got to the UK, and is now in the US, but there is a clearance delay in Memphis, hope that doesn't mean anything bad:





I just knew that something would go wrong when I saw that clearance delay status on the shipment, my lad has just emailed me saying that FedEx have called him and they want a phone number in the US for something ot other, bollox GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Subject: VERY VERY URGENT!

Your Excellency,

The package has arrived in the US... presently at Memphis,TN. It requires customs clearance. The FedEx in Nigeria here just called me and was demanding for a phone number that they would use in the states over there to contact the recipient. Please, since the content contains something that will be used tommorow, can a telephone number be given as soon as possible so that it will be sent across to them for the collection, or, can the office of the FedEx in Memphis,TN, be located and the package asked after.

Furthermore, Sir, this phone number can also be sent across by calling this number 234-1-2714747 which is the number of the FedEx office here in Nigeria. They should be contacted as soon as possible so that it will achieve its purpose.

I also thought that you would have confirmed the mail I sent you when I sent the package across. I will be very grateful if this mail is acknowledged. I am waiting and restless.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





My lad has just sent me another email, he's sounding a bit panicky about the police officers cap being sent back to Nigeria if it's not collected in the US within the next 5 days, which means he will have to collect from FedEx, if he has the balls to do that :), they might ask him to pay the customs fees for it or they might even arrest him for sending it in the first place LOL, I will email him shortly and edit this post with my reply.

I HOPE ALL IS WELL.

Your Excellency,

I hope all is well. I sent you the notification of the FedEx Air waybill and got no reply. I sent another mail notifying you of the package arriving in the US but being held at Memphis TN, for clearance, still no reply. I hope all is well. I think you may be very busy. But, it will be very good if a line, a word or two, is sent across so that I will have a rest of mind. Even if it is something that will not be very favourable... just a line to make things to have shape.

I do not understand! Was the birthday celebrated as when fixed? I can remember you wanted the banner as a surprise gift for the celebrant. I had to try my very best in the Nigerian election troubled times to make sure that I send the package across for it to reach the US on time. As of the moment, the package is still yet to be cleared. The Fedex company called to inform me that I would be given five (5) days for the package to be collected, of which if not collected, it would be returned to Nigeria. All these while, I have been going through hectic periods, borrowing money, taking risks to make sure I accomplish my assignments, of which I know I have not failed to score above average.

The police cap that is in the package is another of the risks I have taken so far. If that cap should be brought back to Nigeria, I do not know how to collect it... leaving it with FedEx guys is a great waste! I spent a lot to get that police cap with the help of the police officer in the choir; I also paid the printer that made the banner a huge sum, not to talk of the materials used! It will be a total waste to leave it there. Worst still, it will/may put one into a very (nice) great trouble of which I would not want... Just a line from you can give me comfort.

I am doing all these things because of your encouragements and your going out of your way to assist a poor soul like me. Since all these silence, I do not know what to tell the members of the choir. I do not know what next to do. Only if you would just send me a line for me to know which way to follow.

However, I hope the producer is faring well. I hope he is back on his feet. Is he still in the UK or has he come back to the US? May the good Lord, with the help of the nurses and doctors, continue to protect him and to heal him.

Sir, I request to leave now. I am highly distressed. Just a line from you will make a great difference. God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Ok, I sent him a long reply, said the goods would just be returned to him as I can't be seen to be getting involved, mentioned to him that I will need a new banner sending on it's own, and he can send the cap/badge via nother courier, more expense for him to send it that way :), I hope he agrees, if he doesn't go to collect the cap when it's returned out of fear, he will just have to pay his police officer friend to get hold of a new can/badge to send, I bet he bitches about that LOL, also gave him the secretary of the producers email, she will of course come on to him and I'll see where I can take that if he's interested.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

Well, Iyke, I am not best pleased with the outcome of the banner and the cap/badge, as you have said, it is currently on hold at customs in Memphis, and it will be returned to you within 5 days. It seems the problems arose because you placed a high customs valuation of $130 on the shipment, had you said there was no value or that they were low value items, they would have been delivered on the day they were supposed to be delivered, or maybe, Nigeria being Nigeria, the FedEx employees there are trying to pull a fast one to make money out of it, I know exactly what they are like, they try to get blood from a stone, and if they think they can get a fee they will try it on to line their own pockets.

Anyway, I have no idea why you placed such a high valuation on the goods, in the cold light of day, it is a cloth banner, a beret and a badge, how in Gods name did you come to such a high customs valuation for those items?

The recipient of the shipment, Chris Gardocki, is not currently in the US, his mother has fell ill the day before the party, she has suffered a stroke, and he had to urgently leave the US to go to Italy so that he could be by her bedside, I am happy to say that she is doing well and they hope she will make a full recovery, but Chris will be staying there for some time and will be unable to collect the shipment, also, you know my position, I cannot be seen to be giving preferential treatment to someone such as yourself, so it is impossible for me to intervene in the case of the shipment, if I did and it was found out, the House of Representatives and the Senate would have a field day at my expense, so the only option is for the shipment to return to Nigeria.

Iyke, living in a country like Nigeria, you should know how to play the game when it comes to sending items overseas, even I in my position, do not declare full prices of goods that I may have to send to someone via a courier like FedEx, there is no need to, everyone does it that way, it is not illegal to do so, and in your case, if I was in your shoes, I would not have put any customs valuation on the goods whatsoever, at worst, I would have said $5 for the banner, $5 for the beret and $5 for the badge, then there would not have been any problems at all with the delivery, the problems are all down to your high $130 valuation.

My friend was quite disappointed about not receiving the banner, I had to tell him I had a special surprise for him and that it was impounded at customs, but in a way, this may have helped us, as I have told him that you are making the banner again with the corrected text and colours, and he was very pleased to hear that.

You need only send the banner next time on it's own with no valuaton on it, if FedEx ask you, simply tell them the banner has no value, as it only cost you $5 for paint and you already had cloth to make it as you made it yourself. You can send the beret and badge seperately, perhaps you could even use a different courier if you don't want FedEx to see you sending the officers cap/badge again, I know you have EMS couriers in Nigeria as I have had things sent to me via that company before, that might be another option for you in sending the goods.

On the subject of the producer, whilst he was in the induced coma, he had a slight relapse, there was another build up of fluid on his brain and they had to carry out an emergency operation to release the pressure again, he very nearly died on this occasion, he is still in a coma in intensive care but they are quite confident he will pull through, although there is a chance that he may have suffered some brian damage, early indications from brain scns show no damage at this point, so the prognosis looks good for him, rest assured that he is getting the best nursing care available, if you would like to email his secretary to pass on your good wishes to him, her name is Brandie Love, this is her Yahoo email address:

[addy snipped]@yahoo.com

I'm sure she would be more than happy to give you updates on the producers progress, she is a real nice lady, if I wasn't a married man I would sure take an interest in her, she has immense beauty and grace about her, a mighty fine woman if ever I saw one.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Yeeehhhhhhaaaaaaaaa, yesterday, the goods that I thought were being returned, have been delivered today, Reprob8 (Reprob8 is a 419eater.com member) had a phone conversation with the FedEx customs people in the US and explained what was going on, they found it hilarious LOL :), Reprob8 sent me a PM telling me to look in the pictures forum, where I found this topic he had started :).

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=109368

FedEx delivery receipt:

Reprob8's silk Steelers banner:

The Nigerian police officers beret that was worn by the scammer in the Y.M.C.A video:

This is Reprob8 modelling the beret, doesn't he look cute BWAHAHAHAHA :)

I am still going to ask my lad for a replacement banner with a better yellow colour, instead of that gold colour he used and for the letters spaced correctly, at least he will be happy to hear it was not returned, I will tell him an executive at FedEx was ordered to release the shipment or he would lose his job LOL :).





I have sent my lad a reply, letting him think that my posotion as the president got the goods released after I had words with someone else in a position of power, it's really great being the president :lol:, I worded it like I was doing him a big favour so that he wouldn't get arrested if the shipment was returned to Nigeria, it's sure to endear me to him even more now that i have gone out of my way to help him out :)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Iyke, I was very worried about the police officers cap and badge being returned to you in Nigeria, and the possible consequences you might face if questions were asked when you went go collect it from FedEx, I suppose there might have been a chance that you could have been arrested over it, so, with your personal safety in mind, I had a little chat with a close friend of mine who I placed in charge of the Homeland Security Department, in turn, he had words with FedEx executives in the US, and told them that the shipment was to be released immediately as the goods were for a close personal friend of the President, as a result of that, the shipment was released from customs at Memphis straight away, and express delivered to it's destination.

As you know from my previous email, Chris Gardocki was not there to receive the shipment due to his mother being ill, but I contacted him and told him delivery was imminent, he contacted his company and told them to expect it, he asked them to take photos of the banner and cap/badge after unpacking the items, and he has sent the photos to me via email.

Iyke, whilst the banner is a nice material and well made, the spacing of the letters on it is absolutely atrocious, let me give you 2 examples, on the first line, it says:

Pittsburgh Steelers He (there is a big gap here until) re We Go

On the second line it says:

Steel---ers Here We Go (the --- in the middle of the word Steelers is totally unacceptable)

As I told you before, the lettering in each line of text should not have gone acrosss all three colours of the banner like it was done, each line of lettering should be on one background colour only, I have sent you a simple diagram as an attachment to show you the way it is meant to be done.

Well, the cap and badge look mighty fine, it will make a great addition to my collection, I will give it pride of place, thank you very much for sending it to me.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.


I sent him this as the example of how the new banner should be done:





My lad has replied, he seems very relieved that I received the banner and police beret/badge today, I knew that would put him in a good mood, but I had to laugh when he said "I can not but stand up in the cafe and did some dancing while people were just looking at me as if I have bats in the belfring" LOL LOL :).

Some of the church choir members appear to be getting restless because of the delays with the producer being in a coma, they are sure to start revolting against him completely soon I reckon :), and he confirms he is going to make the new banner for Reprob8 :).

IN GOD WE TRUST!

Your Excellency,

Thank you very very much for your mail.

At least, I am now a very happy man. You have my safety in mind! What have been coming to my mind all these while is, 'what will be my answer when asked about the police cap and badge?' It has been giving me, and the choirmaster, a great concern. I came in now to reply your mail and saw the second mail. After going through it, I can not but stand up in the cafe and did some dancing while people were just looking at me as if I have bats in the belfring! I thank you so much. May God bless you. I have seen the correction you made for the banner. Actaully, the mistake was due to the positioning of the colours. Now, I am going to give a wonderful proffessional job.

However, I have learnt some things again in sending packages that demands customs duties. Although I was just being factual with the quotations but, that is not the issue for now. In Nigeria here, things are really expensive. However, I am looking forward now, never backwards!

Sir, one thing is now bugging my mind: The producer's ill health! As it stands now, when will we be coming over to the US? One thing that has eat deep into the bone marrows of all Nigerians is that they are very impatient. Some members of the choir have droped from the crew/rehearsal. They want something that is on the fast lane. As it stands now, I will have to reduce the number even further ...that is, those who are not serious with the rehearsals. They would not come for rehearsals but they are waiting eagerly for the day they would be traveling to the US without working hard for it. My choirmaster has already sent two people away from the group. Thus, by the time we are very much ready, I will send you the actual number from the list who will eventually make the trip. So, to make me put things in the best of places, how soon are we traveling?

Furthermore, do we prepare for the air ticket ourselves? Do we also prepare to take care of our welbeing in the US? I know, with your benevolent heart, you will facilitate the visa in the embassy over here. I need to know all these so that I will inform the members to get themselves prepared too.

May the good Lord continue to protect you from the hands of your enemies. You will continue to be the winner and they, your enemies, will continue to be the losers. You are a true Leader... you have my safety in mind! Me of all people!!! The Lord God will have you in mind all the days of your life! AMEN! You have made my day!

Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.

NB: I GOT THE LAST CORRECTION ON THE BANNER!




My lad has also emailed my newly introduced character, the producers secretary :), now to see how true he is to his fiancee in the choir, I have a great set of photos from dressed secretary to fully naked and stuff, I think he will love Brandie ;).

Dear Brandie Love,

You have seen me, heard my voice over the microphones, watched me in the videos, but, have not seen me phisically. My names are Iyke Mbaegbu. You may leave my last name for writings only. You can call me Iyke if you wish.You may be wondering how I got your email address or it may not be a surprise at all. I sent your boss some video tapes and CDes in which I performed the Y.M.C.A song. Yeah! That's me.

I am writing to ask after the welbeing of your boss, Mr Luther Vxxxxx. Mr President has told me how he underwent the second operation. I thank the Almighty God for keeping him safe uptill now. I have been praying for him. I do not know if you are prayerful.

We Africans are very religious. All that know him ought to pray for his welbeing; for his getting well as soon as possible. I wish him the best of hospitality on that sick bed. Please, I would wish you tell me more of his condition. I will be mailing you very often to have updates of his conditions. Send my ''GET WELL SOON'' message across to him. His welbeing is my concern.

I was told you are a real 'mother' and a beauty! Take care/control of yourself/ everything. One day, I pray, we shall see in person so that I will thank you for the good job you have been doing all these while and always.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible. Take good care of yourself.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Brandie has sent him an email, now lets see if he admits to having a fiancee or not, will he be loyal to his wife to be, or will he be a bastard, hope I didn't come on too strong for the first email, hmmmm :)

Hi Iyke,

How cool to hear from you, I'm like, wow, those ymca songs and videos you made were sooooo cool, which one were you in the video, please tell me you were the policeman, I was told that might be you, is it? I hope that was you, I kinda have a big crush on you, you didn't know that but you do now, hope I didn't embarass you by saying that?

You look very tall in the video, how tall are you? I just love big men, the bigger the better, you know what they say about big men don't you ;), and I have a big thing for big African men, oh yes siree, I do, I have been out with 3 African men before in the US, and oh my god, such bliss the way they love a woman, I just can't get enough of African men, can we meet up and go out for the night together when you come to the US? I really would like to get to know you on a personal level if you know what I mean, but you don't even know what I look like yet, I'll send you my photo with this reply, I hope you like the look of me because I adore you in the video and I love your voice :)

Luther is still in a coma after the other operation and is under heavy medication, it's been a real tough time for everyone close to him, thank you for praying for him, I know he would appreciate you doing that because he is a christian man like you. You can email me as often as you like and I will update you about how he is doing, we have to keep our fingers crossed that he gets well soon, the doctors scanned him again today and said that although he is still in a coma, they can't find any traces of brain damage, that's great news.

I have to go and get some beauty sleep now, it's just after midnight in the UK, night night babe, you really are a fine looking man, i ant to get close to you, see my photo with my email, take care for now my love.

Oh no, I almost forgot, please tell me you are single and not married, you just have to be single and available for me, I would be heartbroken if you already had a girlfriend!!!!!

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

I attached this photo from the set I have, this is me, surely he must like me :).





It's now May 9th, I have not replied to my lad since my email to him about receiving the shipment on May 1st, the only email I have sent to him was me playing the part of, Brandie Love, he has not replied to her and not emailed the president either, hmmmmm, so I dropped him a line to explain why I have not been around, I had the Queen over, don't ya know :)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Firstly, I would have replied to you sooner, but for the fact we have had important visitors from the UK, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II has been in the US for a 6 day trip, and as you can imagine, there have been many functions for me to attend to, hence my lack of a reply to you.

I'm glad that you are now a happy man, let me assure you that I have your best interests at heart, that is why I used my position to get someone to get the police cap and badge released from Fedex, I would not liked to have see you getting arrested had it been returned to Nigeria, not after all the hard work you have put in to this project.

The cap and badge look magnificent in the White House display cabinet, I showed my collection to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, and I told her about the latest addition to my collection, I explained that you had sent it to me from Nigeria, and she said what a wonderful chap you must be to do something that, I totally agreed with her on that point, I told her you are a great guy to know.

It is good to hear that you are going to do a professional job on the new banner, have you started making it yet? I am eager to see the end result of your work, when do you expect to have it finished?

With regards to coming to the US, I understand what you say about Nigerians being impatient, but patience is a virtue in life, if you lose sight of your goals you will fail in your life, much the same as if you lose your patience, you will fail, patience plays a very important role, I often wish that conflicts in other countries would hurry up and end, but I have to remain patient at all times and we will win through in the end, keep rehearsing, keep the faith, keep being patient.

As for the air tickets and being taken care of in the US, please don't concern yourself with those matters, the producers company will be paying for your flight tickets and your hotel accommodation whilst you are here in the US, you will not want for anything during your stay, and as you are already aware, I will be taking care of your presidential passes, all that you will need to do is to pack your suitcases when the time comes.

Did you contact the producers secretary? I received an email from Brandie today, she informs me that the producer has now come out of his coma, although he is still very ill, but the fact that he has awoken is a positive sign of things to come, thank the Lord that he has pulled through this terrible accident. Brandie also said that he might be allowed to travel back to the US at the end of May if his condition improves, but for now, he is on complete bed rest to help him recover.

I think that just about covers everything for now, I trust you are keeping well, and I hope to hear from you again soon with an update on the new Steelers banner you are making.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





After a break of 13 days, my lad finally replies :), anyway, all is well, he's been away to the village to see his sick father and they have no internet cafe there, he has probably promised his father the best medical care when he makes it as the big music star :), now he's back in Lagos and as happy as he always is to read my emails, damn mugu, he wont be happy much longer, and neither will his happy choir friends be happy with him.

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for you mail.

Once again, I have no choice but to be happy. I would have replied earlier than now, but, I had to go to the village to see my ageing father who is down with Diabetes Miletus and high blood pressure. He sent an urgent message across to me, I had to leave to the village to see him: An eigth-nine hours journey. There is no cafe yet over there.I couldn't check my e-mails.

I just came back to Lagos... your mail was there waiting! Thank you very much. Wow, Her Majesty gave you a visit. What a hectic peroid for you. I overheard it over the radio. May the good Lord continue to keep her and give her good health and more wonderful years.

As I have come back to Lagos now, I will resume the work of the banner. By the middle of next week I would have either finished it or about putting in the finishing touches to it. The graphics you attached with the mail will be very helpful. I will do a great proffessional job this time around.

Thanks be to God!! So, the producer has come out of coma! That is really a great news to me and to everyone. We will continue to pray for him to recover fully... He is greatly needed! I will send a mail to the secretary right away to know the latest developement. The Lord will hear the prayers of all who are praying for his quick recovery.

The entire members of the choir were really high spirited when I broke the news of the tickets, accomodation and the Presidential passes! They were greatly over joyed! I know all will be more seroius with the rehearsals now. May God continue to bless you. Amen.

I will have to leave now. The owners of the cafe I'm sending this mail is about closing for the day. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I have sent a reply to my lad, and while I was at it, I asked him to make me another banner, as requested by, Shiver Metimbers, on this this topic about his friends wedding:

I Got A Fever, And The Only Prescription Is More Cowbell (you'll need to be logged in to 419eater.com to view this link.

For those of you who can't login without registering on 49eater, this is what Shiver requested, he said:

A friend of mine is getting married in a couple of months. Like the idiot he is, he has assigned me the task of being best man, hey, if the cap fits.. :). Anyway, Some weeks ago I showed him the "more cowbell" sketch from a SNL episode a few years ago and he nearly had a heart attack laughing so much. He loves the scambaiting thing, but doesn't take part himself. Anyway, I thought it would be a nice touch to plaster his new house with various mugus holding up signs/banners with "MORE COWBELL!" written on them.

I'm in the thick of a few scammers myself and don't have time to devote to a dozen or so potential cowbell sign makers, so if anyone out there is trying to get their scammer to hold up a sign but isn't sure what the wording should be I would like to ask if you would consider my plight and help my friend have a good executi.... erm, wedding :), Bonus points will be awarded for the sign, "I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!" :)

For those people who haven't seen the "more cowbell" sketch, here's a link to the video:

http://www.funnyhub.com/videos/pages/snl-more-cowbell.html

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

After not hearing from you for nearly 2 weeks, I was concerned that you may have fallen ill or had an accident, it's real good to hear from you again.

I am sorry to hear that your father is sick, please pass on my best regards to him, I hope you have told him all about what has happened to you, and that you will soon be a big music star, thus giving you the ability to give your father the best medical care possible with your new found wealth, I am sure he appreciates all you are doing to better yourself.

Yes, it is great news about the producer, he will slowly regain his full strength, it will be a slow process, as is to be expected when someone is recovering from a brain injury and surgery, but I know he will rest well and make a good recovery in the end, and it's great to hear that the choir members were overjoyed when you told them about the tickets, I like people to be happy, tell them to keep the faith and always remain positive and patient.

The banner you are making sounds like it will be fantastic, I look forward to seeing it when it is completed, on the subject of banners, whilst you are making this one, I have another small request to ask of you.

A close friend of mine is getting married in a couple of weeks from now, he runs a large cattle ranch in my home state of Texas, he has over 100,000 head of cattle (cows and bulls) there, he was very ill recently with a high fever and had to cancel his wedding last month due to the illness.

A doctor told him that fresh milk contains certain enzymes that can help make people to recover from a fever, so my friend drank milk straight from a cows udders, 3 times a day for 4 days, by the way, the cow was called, "cowbell", this seemed to work miracles and he got better very quickly due to the fresh warm milk and the enzymes in it, we now have a little joke with him, where we say to him, "I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell", so what I would like you to do is this.

Please make me a large cloth banner, there is no need to use expensive silk for this one, a cheap white cotton banner will do just fine, the banner should be at least 20 feet wide by 10 feet high, and it will have 2 lines of text written on it, these are the 2 lines of text to use:

I Got A Fever
And The Only Prescription Is More Cowbell

As the banner is going to be very big, please make sure the text is done in very large letters, you can either do the lettering in black ink, or use different coloured inks for each different letter for a better visual effect, the choice is yours as to whow you do it, but the letters must be large, at least 1 foot tall for each letter, then send the banner in the same package as the new Steelers banner you are making, the cowbell banner will be draped across the front of the ranch for him to see when he returns from his wedding, I just know that you wont let me down with this, because you always do great work for me and I am very proud of all you have done!

I have some important issues to attend to, so I will leave it there for now, I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





My lad has sent a reply to the producers secretary, Brandie Love, he didn't say he was still single, but he didn't say he was engaged to his fiancee either, I think he quite likes Brandie :), and would like to hear her on the phone, I think I will have to ask a phone favour of VPM, if she would be so kind as to take his call when I set it up:

My Dear Love,

Thank you so much for your wonderful mail.

I would have replied earlier than now, I had to make an emergency travel to my home town, an eight - Nine hours journey. My Dad fell sick, he is down with Diabetes and high blood pressure. He's however, getting better.I just came back to the city... there was no cafe in the village! sssshhhh! We are developing you know!

If I tell you that I didn't like the tune of your mail (and especially your picture...wow..you look great!), then, I am a lair. I do not know what to say... Well, by God's grace, we shall see in the US. At least, that is your homeland, you will know the best way to make things happen. If you were to come to Africa, Nigeria in particular, I will make you feel at home... you'll never like to go back to the States; you will fall in love with nature. However, can it be possible I hear your voice on phone?

How is he? I hope he is really pulling fine. I will like to know the state of his health. By God's special grace, he must pull true! We are praying for his quick recovery. Extend my greeting to him.

I hope to hear from you as soon as possible. You are a damsel.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke





You can be sure that if he he gets hot and heavy with Brandie, his fiancee will find out about it at the end of the bait, infact, every member of his choir will find out when I email them all :).

I have sent the lad a reply from Brandie, she told him she used to be a model and attached a nice posing photo, the photo is below, Brandie is lying on a bed, fully naked and shaved with a cheeky grin, hope he likes her :)

Hiya baby,

I wasn't sure how you would take my email, I hope I didn't embarrass you with the things I said, it's just that I do fancy you, I mean, I fancy you a lot, infact, I wish we could be lovers, you are so hot babe, I want you babe.

Hey you, you never answered my question, please tell me you are single and not married, I would be hearbroken if you already had a girlfriend, you are single aren't you baby? Do you have any children? I would love to have a baby, I am 33 years old now and I'm not getting any younger, I need to find my ideal partner to start a family with soon, do you want children some day?

I must be honest with you now, before I was Luther's secretary, I used to be a model, I did photography shoots where I would model in naked poses for publication in adult magazines, I hope that doesn't put you off me knowing that?

I have sent send you a naked photo of myself from my portfolio attached to this email, just so you can see what I look like with my clothes off in a nice pose, I hope you like my body, darling, if you don't want to see me naked, don't look at the attached photo, hope you like the look of me, though, because that's what I have to offer you if you want to be with me.

I have got some brilliant news, Luther is out of his coma at last, isn't that cool, I am so happy, the doctors in the hospital say they might let him travel back to the US at the end of May, this all depends on if he carries on improving, at the moment, on doctors orders, he is confined to bed as he still needs a lot of rest due to the sensitive nature of his brain surgeries.

Luther is sending me back to the US as there is not much work for me to do here while he gets better, I have a lot of work back in the US that I can be getting on with, I will be heading home tomorrow and I would be happy to hear you on the phone when I get back, I will send you my phone number when I return, can't wait to actually speak to you, you are such a sexy man!!!!!

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxX

I attached this new photo from the set I have, how could he not want me :).

WARNING: not suitable for work image link below showing a naked lady model on a bed, also, if you are under 18 years of age, DO NOT view it!

Brandie Sprawled Naked On The Bed




I have no idea when the people in his choir will want to beat him up LOL, they are all happy again now that the producer is out of the coma, more agony for the lad to come yet :), he as replied, and has agreed to make the huge "more cowbell" banner for Shivers friend on this topic :):

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=110778

Subject: A HECULIAN TASK!

Your Excellency,

I thank you so much for your mail.

I would have replied your mail earlier than now,I had to, first of all, get about the materials needed for the production of the new banner... 'the cowbell'....

The banner is indeed a great banner. Even the printer is really complaining. But, however that may be, the banner will be perfectly done. However, about what time would the Rancher be having his wedding? This will help greatly in the making of the banner. It requires painstaking carefulness to achieve the best result.

I have sent your greetings to my Dad. He said I should tell you 'thank you' in English language; that I should make sure I tell you that God will continue to bless you; that you will ever remain great. With him I say a great Amen!

I am still very optimistic with the happenings so far. I know that the producer will eventually regain his full health. The Lord is with him both now and always. I sent a mail to his secretary. She confirmed what you said in your mail earlier on. She says that the Producer sent her back to the US to do some jobs since things are somehow slow in the Uk. She may be in the States as of the moment. A lovely woman indeed. God will guard her in her travels.

I will have to leave now to see to things on hand. I am hope to hear from you soon.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke.





He also replied to Brandie Love, he says he is single, I can now nail the bastard when I email his fiancee and choir at the end :), he is happy to marry me and have kids already after 2 emails sighhhhh :).

Subject: GOD WILL GUIDE AND GUARD YOU.

My Love,

Wow! You really made me to know that I am a man to the core! I, however, know very well that I am a shy man but that does not mean I do not know when to come out of my shell and do the things required of me. Your mail didn't embarras me in any way. I am not a child although we Africans, especially our ladies, have their own ways of expressing their love and want to a man. All the same, however the expression is done, it all boils down to the same thing. I am getting more exposed as the day runs along. With you, I will surely take a gigantic step.

Well, well, well! I AM VERY SINGLE! NO CHILDREN AS OF NOW! You may not believe it... I have no girlfriend, though not a virgin. Be rest assured that when things work out as we are planning, we will go very far... that is, if you will make sure that all the loose ends over there are well tied up and moped up as well.

In Africa here, especially my tribe in Nigeria, it is the custom and wish of every young man to get married, form a family and MUST have children. At 38, I want that dream, wish, custom come into existence... with someone that I will be happy with forever. I have been delaying this all these years because of one or two things( personal though as of now)! But, as things are brightening, why should I reject someone who has given me all ... her own body and her soul; who want me to be the father of her children; who want me to succeed in life! The only thing I will emplore you is, as you are very close to Lxxxxx, endevour to make sure that the best comes out of this music production. This is our meal ticket you know! Do this and have me forever.I will help laddy in whatever way I can, well, I have showed him my body and soul, now it's his turn ;), hope he will take some naked photos to send to me :)

Where are you now? Have you gone back to the US? How was Lxxxxx before you left? If you are still in the UK, how is he reponding to treatment? I hope all is well. Reply this mail as soon as possible. I really want to hear how your voice sounds like... is it melodious and sexy? Do you know how to sing? Can you dance? Do you smoke? Do you take drugs? Do you club? All these and more I would like to know. I will like to know you more and more...

Till I hear from you soon. You look great in the nude.

Iyke





I sent a reply to the lad from Brandie Love, no idea if he will send me his naked full frontal photo, I can only ask, if he does, it will be excellent for when the time comes to crucify him in front of the choir and his fiancee LOL :).

With Brandie's reply, I have given myself another option to slap him about later in the bait, he told me he is single, he told George Bush that he is engaged, Brandie obviously has contact with George Bush, so it will be a shame later on when George Bush tells Brandie about the lad having a fiancee, hell, that would mean laddy is using Brandie, and laddy knows what the producer did to ruin her ex boyfriends music career, he'll never be anything more than a busker :).

So, he better come up with his naked photos before George Bush tells me about the fiancee back in Lagos, and by that time, he will be in so deep, that I will tell him I am going to tell the producer about him if he doesn't send me the photos straight away, otherwise he can kiss goodbye to going to the US when Luther hears about it, so, chances are, he will cough up the naked photos at that point, unless he wants to face the wrath of his choir LOL :).

Hiya baby,

I loved your email and the things you said to me, it made me so happy to hear you are single with no children, when you come to the US, I want us to get married in Las Vegas, and I do want to have your babies, I have made my mind up that you are the man for me, I don't want anyone else, I'm so overjpyed that you want to have babies with me, and think of all the fun we will have getting me pregnant :), when I read your email, I was like, oh my god, this man is such a dream, I cried like a little girl when I read it.

You are such a gorgeous man, and I am so in love with you, and I do mean, totally in love, I want you so much baby, I want to feel your body next to mine, my body now belongs to you and I hope your body will be mine for ever.

I don't even know what your body is like yet, I can imagine what it's like, but I have not seen it so it's not the same when I think of you, can you send me a naked photo of yourself, you are my babe and I really want to see how big your penis is, I don't mind if you have a small penis, it's what you do with it that counts, ask any woman and they will tell you that, I dream about your penis all the time, I desperately want to see it, please send me a full length photo so I can see you in all your naked glory, I have a feeling you are going to be a very big boy down below.

I understand what you said about this being our meal ticket, I am going to do anything I can to make sure Luther makes you a big superstar, I keep telling him how good you sound, it would be so cool if you could get a recording contract for you to also sing as a solo artist, can you sing in a hip hop or rap style, that would be like, way cool, bodacious dude?

Luther always listens to what I tell him, because I am his personal assistant (PA), and he values what I say to him, stick with me darling, and the world will be ours for the taking, then I could give up work completely and not have to worry about money, I can make things happen for you and I will make sure Luther thinks even more highly of you, if he knows you and I are going to be married, that will seal it for you, I am going to tell him about us getting married when I see him at the hospital later today.

I was going out with another guy about a year ago, he said he wanted to marry me, he was a singer, but he just used me, so I told Luther about him using me and Luther promised me that he would see to it that no music producer would ever help him record songs, and that's exactly what happened, my ex now does busking outside train stations to make tiny amounts of money, because nobody will sign him to their record label, Luther has a lot of power inthe industry, so I guess I got my own back on my ex and ruined his chances, that will teach him to use me :)

Luther is now able to sit up in bed, it's great that he is getting better now, I hope he can go back to the US at the end of May like the doctors say he might be able to, it all depends on what they say nearer the time, he is looking a lot better anyway.

Baby, I didn't manage to get back to the US as I planned to last week, Luther wanted me to go to London to see some music executives as his representative, so I was stuck in London over the weekend, I am now back in Manchester, and I will be heading home to the US on May 23rd or 24th, hope to speak to you when I get back there, can't wait to hear your voice on the phone, you sexy man, please remember to send me your naked photo when you reply, I have to see what a big boy you are, then I will send you another naked photo of myself from my portfolio, bye for now baby, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.

All My Love,

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





George Bush has sent a reply to the lad letting him know when the wedding is.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

With regards to the date of the wedding, my friend will be getting married on June 4th, that should give you plenty of time to do your perfect work on the banner, I have already told my friend that my friend in Africa is making a surprise gift for him, he has no idea it is a cowbell banner, I can't wait to see the look on his face when he sees it draped across the front of his ranch.

As I mentioned before, you can send the cowbell banner and the Steelers banner in the same package when you ship them, Chris Gardocki will give the steelers banner to our friend and he will bring the cowbell banner to the wedding, before we go back to drape it over the entrance to the ranch before our friend returns from his wedding for the reception, here is the address again for you to send both banners to:

(address snipped)

Please pass on my thanks to your father for his kind words, glad you also had a chance to email the producers secretary, she is indeed a fine looking woman.

I will have to cut it short today as I have a lot to attend to, I hope to hear from you again soon.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





My lad has finally replied to, Brandie, it appears he has been busy making the banner for the president :), he didn't send his naked photo, something about all the ladies in the internet cafe will see his dick if he does that, and he's a bit shy, although he does tell me the size of it and it's mine for the taking LOL :).

Subject: I'M YOURS FOR THE TAKING!

My Love,

I thank you so much for your mail.

I would have replied your mail earlier than now, but, Mr. President gave me an assignment which I have been running around to make sure I beat the time frame. I hope you are not annoyed with me. I have to make sure I fulfill all obligations, hasten those I am working with and make sure I do a great job of any work being given to me. I am with you. Relax!

Your mail really gave me great joy. All the things you mentioned therein are so gratifying. But, here in Nigeria, almost all go to the public computer to send/recieve mails. There are no much privacy thereof. What I am saying in effect is, there is no how I will scan my picture without the girls working in this cyber cafes not firstly seeing what is meant for you alone. Moreover, in Nigeria here, we are not all that exposed. There are certian things we see as secred.

Marriage is one of them. I would suggest that since we are going to be together forever, wouldnt it be wonderful if we just bear this 'waiting' and make a wonderful everlasting gift to one another. It is just a matter of time. However, I am a shy person but that does not mean I can not make you feel like a woman... a wonderful beautiful damsel!

Futhermore, I know I have a very big boy down there... a least 6.3" inches( even more than that). I also know how to handle that stuborn boy! It is all yours for the taking. Just have patience. You will see it live and have it for keeps.

That reminds me! There are certian questions I asked you in my last mail to you which you didn't mention in your reply. I asked if you club, smoke,drug, dance and sing. I would like to know all these and more about you.

I don't rap. And hip hop style is not my style of music. Though, with your help (and that of the Producer), I can learn and do a great job in it. I am very versatile and I learn fast. My country most times don't have avenues through/by which one can showcase ones latent talents. I know with someone like you by my side, I will surely erupt with goodies that I have been habouring all these years.

Are you now in the US? How is Luther doing? I hope he is pulling on strong. Send my greetings to him. I want to hear your sweet voice... I really want to hear how your voice sound.

I will have to leave now. The cafe I am sending this mail from are closing for the day. Do you want a pix with clothen on? I will send that across if you wish. Till I hear from you.

WITH ALL MY LOVE,

Iyke





I have been in PM contact with another 419eater member called Eliza_Doolittle about the phone call to my lad, which she has kindly offered to do for me to play the part of Brandie, but before that call happens, I have emailed the lad to let him know the error of his ways if he doesn't send his naked photos next time he emails me, if I was a lad who had invested this much time and money in a project, and might still lose the whole record deal over a couple of photos, I would be straight down the internet cafe with my photos to have them scanned, I hope he thinks the same way :).

Hiya baby,

It's so lovely to hear from you, there is just one little problem with your email, the problem is, you didn't send me your naked photos like I asked you to do.

I read what you said about the girls in the cyber cafe seeing your naked photos, and you saying for me to be patient until we meet, my answer to that is, NO WAY, I don't have patience, baby, no patience at all, if you think for one minute that I am going to wait until you get to the US before I see your big 6.3 inch boy down below, then you have got another thing coming, I want to see your naked body and your big boy, and I want to see it right now.

So what if the girls in the cyber cafe see you naked, all that you should be worried about is that I want to see you naked and I always get what I want, I am not bothered about what those other girls see of you, anyways, why don't you go out of town to some place where they don't know you and have the photos scanned there, or get a friend who works in an office to do them for you, you might even know someone who has their own computer at home who can do it, then you wont have a problem with any girls seeing you naked.

Remember what I told you about my ex boyfriend, and how Luther destroyed his music career because my ex used me, he did the exact same thing you are doing, he said he loved me, wanted to marry and have kids like you said, he was all lovey dovey with me like you are, he saw my naked photo like you have, but he wouldn't send his naked photo to me like you wont, he was just using me, I do think you do love me, Iyke, but I really have to be sure, I don't want to be hurt again, and that's why I want to see your naked photos, if you don't send them to me straight away, I will have to assume that you are also just trying to use me to further your music career, and I would not like that one bit.

If I think that you are just using me, you can be 100% sure that I will tell Luther all about it, and then you can kiss goodbye to your dream of going to the US to record your music, Luther will go mad if I tell him you tried to use me, he will cancel the whole record deal you and your group are going to do in the US, trust me baby, Luther thinks the world of me and hates it when people try to use me, so please baby, just prove yourself to me that you really love me like you say you do, send me the full frontal photos showing your penis when it's soft, and some other photos showing you with a big erection so I can see just how good your big boy is, I expect you to send the photos next time you email me, don't even bother emailing me with excuses about how you can't do it, I have heard so many excuses from men in the past, so don't even think about trying that with me, if you email me and don't attach your photos, I will tell Luther immediately!!!!!

Baby, you have no idea how much I love you, I even told Luther that you said rap and hip hop are not your style, but that you said you can learn any style, he said he will pay 50 Cent to give you lessons in that style of singing and get you both to make a record together, you have heard of 50 cent, right? He is a massive star, he's so cool and well buff, I would love to hear you singing like he does, honey, but everything depends on you sending the photos I asked for, this is very important to me because I am so head over heels in love with you at this time, I want to be your wife and I want your babies.

Sorry for not answering some of your questions last time, like do I go clubbing, do I smoke, do I take drugs, can I sing and dance. The answers are, I like to go clubbing, I am a great dancer, I can really move well baby, I can sing quite well but not as good as you do, I don't smoke cigarettes, but I have smoked some hash before, I have not taken any hard drugs ever and never would, what about you, do you do ay of those things, well apart from singing and dancing which I know you can do.

Baby, send me your phone number, and as soon as I have received the naked photos in your next email, and know that you are serious about me, I will give you a call and talk with you about things between us, by the way, there was a slight change of plan again, Luther gave me some other work to do, so I am still in the UK, I am really missing home, the UK is great but not as good as the US, I should be going back to the US in a couple of days time, by which time, I expect you to have sent your photos to me, trust me baby, when you have me, you will never want another woman in your whole life.

Luther is doing real good now, he's getting better with each day that passes, the doctors hve told him that if he progresses like he has been doing, they will let him travel back to the US around June 3rd, isn't that just the best news ever, Luther told me to tell you that, if he returns at that time, he will be ready to have you and your group in the US for recording around the end of June, he asked if you would all be ready for that time?

Bye for now darling, I love you with all my heart, show me your photos to show me your real love and then everything will be cool between us.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Ok then, my lad has mailed me the FedEx details, the 2 banners were sent to the US today, he also asked if he could replace some of the members who dropped out previously :), he has not overvalued the goods this time which caused a little argument at FedEx :)

Subject: AIRWAYBILL.FEDEX.COM

Your Excellency,

Thank you for your mail. I got it alright.

I would have replied earlier than now, but, I wanted to finish the job and reply to give you the tracking number of the FedEx Air Waybill. The tracking number is: xxxx xxxx xxxx. The form number is: xxxx. I put the customs duty at $20.00 Dollars! I hope that is not too much. They wanted to argue with me but I told them that was what the value is. It was packaged today, 30th of May, 2007. It will be expected to leave the shores of the country this evening to arrive on the 1st of June. Latest, early hours of the 4th of June. I hope this would not be late. It should however reach before the Rancher's return from the wedding venue. The work this time is very well done.

The inuaguration/ swearing-in ceremony of the 'imposed' new president wanted to make things scary. No one new what will happen next. As the inuaguration was going on in Abuja, there were some people who were in Lagos demonstrating a peaceful rally calling on all to say no to the imposition of the so called President. The rally was however scartered by fully armed policemen.

Thank God there were no lives lost. So, this made most people to stay indoors to avoid being hit by the unforseen. However, that has given way now... though there seem to be a psudo-peace pregnant with anything unconcievable! Life, with its struggles, continues!

The secretary of the Producer sent me a mail saying that Luther is really doing well. That, if he goes on the way he is responding to treatment, he would be allowed to go back to the US by the 3rd of June. And, if that becomes a reality, we should be getting ready to come to the US by the end of June for the recording. That he would be ready for us. I do not know if she has contacted you of recent. I told you last time that she should be in the states as of then, but, she said in her mail that she is still in the UK. « that confirms he has read Brandie's latest email and will now know he needs to send Brandie his naked photos, I think he might just do that :) She is doing some work for Luther.

Sir, concerning those in the group who left out of impetience, can other people be used to replace them? These people in question are not initially in the list sent across then. For those of them that are no more with the group, I will have to send in their data and names so that they would be deleted from the list. When you give me the go ahead order, I will do just that.

The rehearsals are still going on. Those of them that are still keeping faith, serious with the rehearsals, are still waiting patiently for the last whistle to be blown. The Lord will answer our prayers.

I hope work is not so hectic. The Lord will continue to guard you. You are trully a good leader. Not the type of Leaders we are having over here. There is something that I do not understand with the new President that was sworn in yesterday. People say that he as a man is truely a God-fearing man, who deed a lot of good work in the state where he was a governor. But, what all does not like is the way in which he was imposed on the nation by the outgone president. There were no elections in the country so to speak. In God we Nigerians put our trust this time around. However, the Good Lord will always give you the wisdom to continue your good leadership in the world's greatest Country. God has blessed you already. Remain blessed!

Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.

Here is a copy of the FedEx receipt showing as sent today, I have snipped the identifying details, this package was bit heavier at 3 kilos, costing him N16,569 Naira to send, which equates to $129.73 - 65.48 - 96.47, that brings his total shipping bills so far to, N29,484 Naira = 182.01 = 268.13 = $360.59 :)





I sent a reply to my lad, again mentioning about my hatred of 419ers to keep it fresh in his mind, and on the subject of the choir, laddy asked if he could replace those who dropped out, I said, of course he can :), that will be more people seriously pissed with him at the end :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

This is to confirm receipt of the tracking details, I have checked the tracking page, the items have been picked up in Lagos, and confirm the estimated time of delivery as June 4th by 10:30am, it is cutting it very fine, let's hope they arrive on time.

I have been watching the Nigerian presidential arena very closely, and I am aware of everything that is happening in Nigeria at the present time, you should expect some time of unrest, as is often the case when new people take power, however, the dust will soon settle and everything will be back to normal. Now that Obasanjo has stood down as president, he will be fully investigated over many major frauds that we know he has been involved in, I don't mean the 419 type of fraud, but other types of fraud involving millions of dollars worth of misappropriated funds, once investigations are complete, he will face the full force of the law, I have no doubt that the final outcome will see Obasanjo being jailed for serious fraud.

As you may rememeber from my previous emails, I have a great hatred of the fraudsters and thieves known as 419ers, who prey on victims in the US. Every day of the week, I receive dossiers on my desk concerning known 419ers in Nigeria, these are sent to me by our CIA and FBI agents in Nigeria, in the past week, I have been in contact with my long time personal friend, Nuhu Ribadu, from the EFCC, I passed details to him about a batch of 419ers who we know to be involved in scamming US citizens now and in the past, and as a result of the information I gave to Nuhu Ribadu, a total of 73 known 419ers from all over Nigeria, were arrested in the middle of the night whilst they were sleeping, by EFCC snatch squads, this was a joint operation between the EFCC and our undercover CIA/FBI agents working in Nigeria, I'm sure you will agree that it is great news to hear of these vile scum being arrested, many of them will spend around 5 years in prison before their cases even get to trial, and I enjoy the though of them rotting in their cells for what they have done to their victims here in the US, all 419ers need to be aware that will will catch them in the end.

Yes, I have heard from the producers secretary recently, Brandie told me the other day that Luther is responding well to treatment, it is truly a miraculous recovery from his near death experience, we all pray that he will be well enough to travel to the US some time soon. I have to say, Brandie sounds like she is really smitten by you, most of her email was about you, saying how great you look and how great you sound, if I didn't know better, I would say she has a serious crush on you.

Concerning the group members who left the project, yes, you can use other people to replace them, please send me their personal details as with the previous list, name, postal address, email address, phone number etc, to save time, send the details all in one email, rather than in individual emails.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.

The tracking is now working and shows the banners have been picked up in Lagos :):





A few people have asked me how much the lad has spent so far, well, I have no idea how much it has cost him for the printers and the silk for the banners, silk can't be that cheap even in Nigeria, can it? Although he did say the previous silk steelers banner, plus the police beret/badge were not cheap and he put the customs value at $120, he will no doubt have had to pay his friend in the police force for the beret as well

Then there is the recording studios which he had to pay for at least twice, plus the CD's and the videos etc, all I can confirm is that his shipping costs alone, so far, amounts to, 29,484 Nigerian Naira = 182.01 = 268.13 = $360.59. Right near the end of the bait, I will ask the lad for a full itemised bill of all his outlays so that I can repay him those costs, I don't want him thinking about it at the moment ;)

I just received a PM from Reprob8, FedEx have phoned him today :(, the bad news is, there is no bad news :), Reprob8 said:

Fed-ex called today, a different person this time. I got to explain the entire 419eater mission to her and, like the guy I heard from a couple weeks ago, she laughed herself silly and said the banners should arrive on Monday.!

Which pretty much means it's plain sailing once the banner reaches the US :), it's currently awaiting clearence in the UK:





After a long wait for clearance in the UK, the banners have now made their way to the US, they should be on the van tomorrow morning for delivery :)





Still no reply to Brandie with his naked photos, the little shit, GRRRRRRRRR, it's now time to give him a reminder of what will happen, he also has a deadline to reply to me or he can kiss his record deal goodbye :).

Hiya baby,

You are really upsetting me, why have you not replied to me in all this time since my last email?

I told you what would happen if you didn't send me your naked photos didn't I, and I mean it baby, I have shown you my body, and there is no way on this earth that I am waiting until you get to the US to see your body, I always get what I want, and what I want is to see your body, right now.

If I don't hear from you real soon with your naked photos, I will know you are a player and just using me, I will have no choice but to tell Luther you are using me and you can kiss goodbye to going to the US when he hears about it.

You can refer to my last email to see the type of naked photos I want from you, all the information is there, so go read my last email again, oh yeah, and don't even bother trying to send me some fake photoshopped image of your head on another persons naked body, I am trained in computer imaging and can spot a fake doctored image a mile off!

It's Monday now and I will give you until Thursday, if you have not emailed me with your photos by that time, you can assume that I will tell Luther about you using me and he will not want anything more to do with you, and I do mean that darling, even though I love you so much, I will not be used by you, men have used me before, never again!!!!!

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





The 2 banners have arrived, Reprob8 sent me a PM on the 419eater forum saying :).

:) :) :) BWAHAHAHA. I forgot my camera so I'll take pics when I get home from work. Plus, the "COWBELL" banner is so fucking huge, I couldn't spread it out completely in the office even if I had my camera!! I'll have to lay them on the lawn to get a propler shot. I'll get shivers in the mail tomorrow morning!!

Screenshot for completeness:





Reprob8 has now had a chance to take photos of the banners, they are excellent, the cowbell banner is absolutely massive, they even put a 2 coloured silk border around it :), the Steelers banner looks very cool, they got the gold colour spot on to match the team colours, should look great in his Steelers room if he has space for it :). He posted the photos in the 419eater pictures forum, here

Steelers And Cowbell Banners (you'll need to be logged in to 419eater.com to view this link.

His post says:

Scam Patroller scores best banners ever... and gives the Fed-Ex delivery man a hernia at the same time. The "Cowbell" banner is HUGE. There was no room to lay it out on the office and it was raining outside so I lugged it upstairs to our empty storage area... it barely fit. I put a full size Steeler Helmet, an XL Steelers Jersey, and a Robin Trower album cover on the banner to give you an idea of the size. It reads "I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell". It will be shipped to Mr. Metimbers tomorrow! Nice Job again, SP!!!!! The Steelers Banner is also awesome!!

Here are the photos of the banners:












I have just this minute received a lengthy email from my lad, asking if the banners were ok, and in particular, he gives all the details to the president about Brandie asking him for naked photos :) :), I was wondering if he would dare to bring that subject up.

Part of what he says is, I had to reply to let her know that I am very single because of some personal reasons ( which I told you of earlier on when I was telling you what I want to be in life), now I was lead to believe by him that he was engaged to a woman in his choir, so I don't know what he is referring to with what he said he told me earlier, when I reply to him, I will mention that he told me he was engaged, so why did he tell Brandie he was single, I guess I better bring up that Brandie is the producers god daughter to further worry him LOL :).

He also mentions about 419 in response to what I said about it, and and possibly hints he was in to it, he did say to me a long time ago that he had done illegal things, anyway, the email:

Subject: I HOPE THEY ARE OKAY!

Your Excellency,

Thank you for your email.

I would have replied earlier than now. I wanted to make sure that the package arrives safely. I tracked it and it shows that it was delivered safely. Were the banners okay this time around? I hope they achieved the purpose they were meant for... especially, the new couples! I mean the cowbell joke! The Lord will increase their love and give them a long blessed union.

Sir, as you said in your email, the dust is still yet to settle. Before Obasanjo left the office of the Presidency, he increased the price of gasoline, sold two(2) refinaries to a particular business man. This has increased the suffering of the masses the more. There are long ques at the filling stations. Transportation fares have increased, at least, 60%. Every one was expecting the New President to reverse the price of the gasoline but, up till now he has not done that. We pray he does so.... It is really making things difficult for the poor masses. This is one major thing that make most young men over here to get into crime of all sort especially 419 scams mails.

I thank God for one thing. I resolved within myself to stop anything that is not a legal way to make money. I have discovered that the hard way has most times become the only way. I have told you, Sir, in my earlier mails how I indulged in some crimes myself to survive! But, I have come to find out that such means of survival can not, will never give one peace of mind. How can one feed well but can not sleep soundly? How can one seem to have a wonderful wellbeing when the one can not but live in a shadow, always looking over the shoulders, always getting ready to be on the run at the slightest sight of a police officer.

Truelly, the coming of EFCC and other fraud Dictating angencies has really made most of the fraudstars to leave that worthless life. Though, there are some who would rather die than leave fraud alone. And they will surely be caught. Truelly, this particular crime(419) has spoilt the name of Nigeria Internationally. Even those in the government are making things worse. May God continue to guard us. I am very optimistic that one day, a real Leader will emerge in this country Nigeria who will be very sensitive to the plies/cries of the poor masses. A country that is blessed in all things, naturally and otherwise, but grossly mismanaged, maladministrated. One day... just one day... my fellow poor Nigerians shall know peace, eat well, dress well, be educated and be able to compete with their counterparts all over the world. By the special grace of God, it shall come to pass.

Sir, there is something I would like to bring to your notice. You gave me the email address of the secretary of the producer so that I would be able to be getting information concerning the wellbeing of the producer. I was very formal in my first mail I sent to her. But, on replying, she told me that she is very much in love with me; that she likes all the work that I have done so far; that she would like if I marry her; that she hopes I do not have a girlfriend or wife already and that she would be heartbroken if I am engaged already.

I replied her asking of the welfare of Luther without talking much on the questions she asked. In her next mail, she insisted that I answer the questions she asked in her previous mail. Moreover, she attached her nude pictures to the mail! I had to reply to let her know that I am very single because of some personal reasons ( which I told you of earlier on when I was telling you what I want to be in life); that since she is declaring her love for me, and working with my producer, she should endevour to see that the production of the music is a great success.

And concerning marriage, by the time we get to see in the US, I will allow her be the mother of my children. She now replied that I should send her my nude pictures. I gave her the reasons why I wouldn't do such, telling her to be patient since we are going to see in the US. She became very indignant. She then told me of her ex-boyfriend whom Luther made to suffer because the boy used and dumped her, that that would be my fate if I dont sent my naked photos to her... that she always gets what she wants!

Futhermore, precisely yesterday, she sent me another mail giving me till thursday to reply her mail with the naked pictures attached or she will tell Luther to cancel my music production with him; that Luther thinks the world of her. She even went futher to tell me that I shouldn't try to do any computer image graphing, that she is a trained computer image graphist.

Sir, I have told you all about myself. I have stayed single all these years because I wanted a different lifestyle altogether. I saw all that is happening now as a devine intervention. I thought that the God that is opening this avenue to me will also bring it to fulfilment. I never had the mind to use and dump anyone. I see it that, if she loves me as she said, why wouldn't I just settle down and live a meaningful life in the remaining days of my life. But, the way she is sounding now... I don't know.

I have told her that I use the public computer to send and recieve mail. She wouldn't even mind if other girls should see my nakedness. We the Africans do not show our bodies to the public to show love. I have given her my word, and MY WORD IS MY BOND. I don not know what else to say here. Sir, you are my witness in this issue.

Futhermore, Sir, very soon I will send you the names of those that will replace the deleted names. I will also send the names to be deleted from the list. I just want to make sure that those to replace these impatient ones will/must be of good conduct. It is not something I will have to do in a rush. They will also be able to learn as fast as possible to cover most, if not all, of the things we have done so far. I will send in the names very soon.

I know I have taken much of your time. But, I have to be very verbous to tell you all that is at the moment... especially that concerning Brandie. In her mail, she didn't tell me how the producer is faring. I hope he is doing fine. Has he gone back to the US?

May the good Lord keep you as always. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Ok then, the president and his friend are not to happy, there seems to be a couple of mistakes on the Steelers banner, he has been asked to make the banner again :), I also replied to the subject of Brandie and the photos, I advised him that if I was in his shoes, I would send the photos she wants, I also said Brandie was Luthers goddaughter, that will do his head in :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

Iyke, with regards to the Steelers banner, I have no idea how you managed it, but despite saying you were going to do a professional job on it, and spending a lot of time on the banner, you still made 2 big errors in the spelling of one of the words.

I have sent you a photo of the banner spread out on the floor, you can see that the first letter of every word has a large capital letter, except for where you made the mistakes, look at the letter "N" in the word "Need", you have made 2 mistakes, firstly, the letter "N" is much smaller than the other capital letters, it's the same size as the lowercase letters, secondly, the letter "N" is back to front, how in God's name did you make such simple mistakes as those?

Both myself and my friend are very unhappy at the mistakes you made, more so since you also ruined the first banner with other mistakes, you are making me look bad in front of people, the mistakes spoil the whole look of banner, you had so much time to do this, it was a simple case of spelling a word correctly and you still got it wrong, do you not bother to proof read words before you finish them? You really need to make the Steelers banner again!

Iyke, what is this other thing you are telling me about Brandie, let me get something straight with you, when you first contacted me, you told me that you had a fiancee who was a member of your choir, and at no point since, have you told me that you had split up with your fiancee, now you are telling Brandie that you are single, want to marry her and have children with her.

You mention that Brandie sent you her naked photo and that she asked you to send her your naked photo in return, well it is quite apparent that you have got yourself in to quite a bit of trouble with this, I know Brandie used to be a model, and yes, I have seen her modelling photos before, but it looks to me that you are getting yourself in to a whole heap of trouble over this, for instance, although Luther is a very good friend of mine, Brandie is his goddaughter and he is very over protective of her, now your problem is, if Brandie sent you her naked photo and asked to see yours, and if you don't send it to her, heaven only knows what she will say to Luther about that.

I am aware of what happened to her ex partner, Luther destroyed any chance he had of a career in music, I did talk to Brandie about it at the time, I advised her to give her ex a second chance, but she would not listen, she is a very headstrong woman, and once she gets something in her head, there is no changing her mind.

The way I see it is this, and believe me, xxxx, I don't like saying this one bit, but if you don't send her your photos, then in all honesty, she will tell Luther and he will drop you straight away and find a replacement group, that's exactly what will happen, trust me, I saw it happen with her ex partner and there is nothing I can do to stop Brandie, and what makes matters worse is this, before I received your latest email, Brandie had emailed me asking about you, what you were like, are you married and other general questions, and without knowing you had told her you were single, I told Brandie that you had a fiancee in your church choir.

So, can you imagine how hurt and angry she will be when she reads my email saying that, you know what she will do don't you, she will tell Luther straight away, so what I suggest you do is, email Brandie as soon as you receive this email from me, explain to her that you are very sorry for lieing to her, or tell her that you no longer have a fiancee, and if the only way you get out of this is to send her your naked photos, then that is exactly what you will have to do, if it's any consolation to you, if I was in your shoes right now, I would send my photos just to keep things from falling apart!

I never thought for one minute that we would be talking about naked photos, this is not a topic of conversation that I normally talk about. From the outset, you have showm me that you are a man that gets the job done, admittedly, you make mistakes on banners, lots of them, but your heart is in the right place and you are loyal to me, I just wish there was something I could do to help in the photos matter, but as I have said, Brandie is Luther's goddaughter, and Luther will try to destroy any man who tries to play with her affections.

So again, as much as it hurts me to say it, you should just find a way to send her the photos she wants from you, otherwise the outcome will not be pretty, you have put so much work in to this, make sure you don't fall at the final hurdle, and what will your choir think of this if ruined their hopes of going to the US, I can imagine they would not be too happy with you for ruining everything, at the end of the day, Iyke, what you do is your choice and it is something you will have to live with, one final thing I will say to you is this, if you want this record deal, and you truly want to be with Brandie, get married and make a family with her, then I think there is only one thing you can do to make her know that you do want her and no other woman, that will mean you sending her your photos, looking at it in the cold light of day, we all have to do things to keep the peace, I would do the same in your shoes, but ultimately, the choice is yours and nobody else's!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.

In the meantime, Reprob8 said the Steelers banner was too large for the ceiling in his Steelers room, so he had to fold the bottom third of the banner underneath the rest of it and iron it a lot before he could fit it to the ceiling :), ending up with this:





The lad has replied, from what I read, it seems his fiancee left him because she ran out of patience waiting for him when he was concentrating on this record gig LOL, although I hadn't been writing to him for very long at that point, so she went to her village for x-mas and got engaged to a wealthy man while she was away BWAHAHAHAHA, he is sorry about the mistake on the banner and will make a new one, he will be mailing Brandie tomorrow, of course, Brandie will not believe a word of what he said about being single now and will demand his naked photos or she will tell Luther that the lad is a user and a loser :)

IN ALL SINCERERITY!!!

Your Excellency,

I thank you very much for your Email.

First and foremost, I want to appologise for the mistake in the banner. It was truelly an over sight on my part. I don't like giving excuses when something goes wrong in my share carelessness! I, to be candid, out of haste to beat time(the situation in the country as of then was not all that conducive) I didn't proof-read the out come of that particular banner. It was the 'cowbell' banner that I proof-read. I thought that the printer having done the job before would have followed instructions to the latter. I am truelly sorry for the embarrassment that would have caused you and your friends. I am truely sorry. It is very unlike me. Remember, in the first time, I told you where to expect the wrong placements. I will have to sit tight with that printer this time around and make sure that no mistake of any kind is done. I pomise!

Sir, in all sincererity, what I told you earlier on about my having a fiancee is true. But, when I got your mail in January this year (you wrote me precisly on the 23rd of December, 2006) damn, I didn't realise that in a couple of weeks time I will have been baiting him for 6 months :), my ex-fiancee travelled to the village to celebrate the Christmas holidays with her people. I was later to find out that while I was exchanging mail with you, she has already gotten engaged with one wealthy fellow she met in her home town. I was very disheartened by this. I still begged her after she came back to Lagos and told her what God has opened for me, but, she told me that she had had patience enough; that she cannot wait any longer; that she is a woman and not getting any yonger.

I was really very disturbed about this. But, by then I was very much engrossed with the rehearsals and recordings, so I had to take it as God's will. I even saw it that she might be the one that was blocking my way all these while. Why was it that when I got this opening was when she abandoned me for a wealthy man. I have no money now I know that's not true, but, I know that I will be great in the future. This made me to put more energy in the work at hand. We didn't go back to that issue agian. That was why I didn't tell you about that.

So, Sir, what I told Brandie was the real truth. I wouldn't have to go into telling her that ... though that was a mistake on my part. But, as it is now, Sir, I am very single. The God in heaven is my witness. The only girl I had in mind to marry left me for money in the name of getting married early enough. I wouldn't have to lie. I wouldn't want anythng that will bring me unhappiness. Sir, I saw this as a divine intervention. She (my fiancee) left me in the cold and another woman who is better placed, who is interested in what will bring me progress, exposure, development, came along to tell me how she feels for me. I truelly see this as the hand of God. The only thing is that she thought that I was not telling her the truth.

There is no hiding place for me. Is it not to her and her country that I am coming to. I have really suffered all these years. I wouldn't want to be seen as a lier. No! I am not. If she would accept my word, then, MY WORD IS MY BOND. I never told her to send me a naked picture of hers... she did that at her own accord. The mails she sent were all filled with how she feels for me. I have only seen her pictures but, she has watched me do things in the vidoe I sent across to Luther. She has heard the sound of my voice. I would say she knows me better than I know her. She shouldn't be too hard. Things will work out well.

Sir, if only you would tell her all that I said here, I will be very grateful. I will send her a mail tommorow when I see your reply. The cafe I am working in are about to close for the day. She shouldn't be very angry with me. oh I think she will be angry with you It was just a gap in communication.

I will see to the banner and send it across as soon as possible. Tell your friend that I will have to send him the real banner with the correct wordings on it as soon as possible. I am very soory for my carelessness. May the good Lord bless you as always. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Someone pointed out that Iyke told me he was 33 years old in his first email on this bait, but in his email to Brandie, he said he was 38, that will cause problems for him somewhere along the line, he can't even claim it's a typing error, if he had said 32 or 34 maybe he could have got away with that, but you don't accidentally hit a key 5 keys along, do you, why do they even have to bother lieing about their ages.

I have replied to the lad, I told him that I have done what I can, but Brandie wont believe it, it will be best if he emails her himself to try and sort it out, or at worst, send her the photos to placate her if that's all she will accept to believe he is single and loves only her.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your swift reply.

I appreciate your efforts in the banner making, although, I was quite embarrassed in front of people when the mistakes were spotted, it's not good for my reputation when things like that happen, I trust that you will fully oversee the production of the next banner to make sure that the printer makes no mistakes!

On the subject of Brandie, I have had contact with her today, I forwarded the pertinent details from your email to her, she has replied and she does not believe much of what you said, it would be far better for you to contact her via email yourself, I am not sure that a man in my position should be getting involved in talk about naked photos, this is something that you and Brandie have to settle between yourselves.

I tried my best to get her to change her mind about the photos that she wants from you, but as before with her ex partner, she would not listen to me, she is adamant that if you do not send her the photos of yourself, she will tell Luther that you are using her and he will cancel your record deal. It is important that you email her as soon as possible, because at the moment, I really can't see a way out of this for you, it might come down to you having to send your photos to placate her, it's probably the only way she will believe that you are single and want to be with her.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





He has sent Brandie a very long email, near the end, he says, if I still want his naked photos, my wish is his command, he will do them :), this lad is going to be in so much pain when this finishes BWAHAHAHAHA :).

Subject: DO NOT BE ANGRY!

My Dear Love,

I know you are very angry about so many things. I know that all that we are talking about here really lies on TRUST. I do not know how to let you know that all that I am telling you is nothing but the truth and the whole truth. I came to know that you were told that I have a fiancee and at the same time I am telling you that I love you, moreso, that I will marry you. I should have told you things before now. I wouldn't have let you hear things about me from another person. Anyhow that may be, the information you were told where right to a certian extent.

However, the truth of the matter is: Mr. President mailed me that he told you that I have a fiancee. Yes! I HAD a fiancee. I had a fiancee who abandoned me this january for a wealthy man. When I was discussing with Mr. President, I told him all about myself. I told him I have a fiancee who is in the same choir with me. But, when I was saying this in January, I never knew that the girl in question was having her engagement performed in her village that she went to during the christmas holidays. I never knew that the girl has lost patience with me. I never knew that all these while she has her eyes on money... knowing that I do not have money, she opted to go with a wealthy man whom she thinks will take care of her.

I came to know in the third week of February. I begged her to stay with me. I told her how things are opening up for me. I told her of this recording business. She just told me that she has lost her patience with me; that she is no longer getting yonger. Moreover, the man has all that it takes to look after her. This really gave me a lot of concern. I was very disheartened. But, by then I was very busy with the rehearsals and the recordings. I had to console myself by putting more effort in the job at hand. I know if I should do this music thing so well, I will be in a better position to choose any girl that I love to be my wife or I will go ahead to my initial bible school and be a pastor.

See, Love, by the time this was hapening, the discussions I was having with Mr. President were no more on purely personal basis. We were talking about the music, the making of the costumes, the rehearsals, the sending of the names of the choir members etc. I didn't tell him this latest development. That is why he told you what I told him earlier on. Remember, I told you in my mail that I am single due to some personal reasons. So, Love, I never wanted in any way to use you nor to lie to you. Moreover, I have no hiding place. Is it not to your country I am coming?

Is it not to you that I am coming? I do not know.... you had your own experience about men, but, I have gotten my own share of that cake from a girl. If not that I put my mind into what I was doing and was always in the company of my group doing the YMCA song, I would have broken down. see, I did him a favour, he would have had a breakdown if not for me:) How am I sure you will not break my heart at the long run? oh dear, his heart will be shattered :) Things of the heart are always very delicate indeed. How am I sure with the way you are angry with me that you will not break my heart? Here in Nigeria, we men are brought up to know how to bear pain. But, two shots at the heart from two girls within a space of four months can make a man grow bunkers no matter the shoke-bearing-installations imput in him. WTF, bunkers, shoke bearing-installations, maybe he means bonkers, not sure of the other thing :) Since you sent me that mail, I have not been really myself.

See, I thought that you are just God sent! I thought that your coming into my life was a divine intervention. I dated my ex-girlfriend for four(4) solid years and nothing spetacular happened in my life. When something actually started to happen was when she left me for another man... at the eve of my being someone. I saw it that your coming was just God's hand. You are a girl who is very much interested in what will change my being, who has given me her soul and body, who is ready to have me come what may... that is, if you still love me as you are becoming so hard on me! I have given you my word and I AM NOT GOING BACK ON IT. I see this recording as a divine favour God is giving me and you are the sweetest part of that gift. Using and dumping you is as well as I dieing and buring myself. I mean all that I say here. I really mean them!!!

The only thing I ask of you is: Is there any other thing I can do to show/tell you that I mean all that I told you. It is not that I am giving excuses, but, what is greatly incapacitating me in sending my nude pictures to you is that it entails a lot of exposure. I don't have a camera; someone will take the photos. I will have to masturbate to make my 6.3 inches boy to stand? Some one will scan the pictures... God! I am well brought up in the religious way. I just want you to read through this mail after which if you still insist... well... Your wish is my command. I want you to be happy. I want happiness myself. I don't want anything that will make anyone to be unhappy. I have really surffered in life. I know what it took me to get the YMCA project to the state it is now. But, if this is the way you want to throw it into the gutters, well... To God be the glory! Just tell me what your mind is and what you want me to do.

My Love, to answer your questions. I rarely go clubbing, I smoke cigarettes but not a chain smoker, I have not taken any hard drugs before. I am the religious type. We in Africa are very religious. We pray a lot and are also hard working only that our government maladministrate a lot thus making things very hard for the poor masses. I also drum real good, even better on the conga drums than in singing and dancing.

This is the number you requested: +234-803xxxxxxx. If I can speak with you on phone, I will be well pleased. You have heard my voice in the video, I have not heard yours. It will be mighty good if I hear your voice and see how sweet it sounds.

Are you still in the Uk or have you gone back to the US? How is Luther doing? Is he still in the UK? I hope he is faring very well. By that end of June you asked, we shall be ready for Luther. I know this will be possible by the time you have told me your mind.... insisting/standing where you were... that is, the photos or telling me more sweeter things that we should be telling each other.

My Love, please, I shouldn't be telling you this but, do not put a knife into my heart. A girl has done that once. The wounds have not healed yet... very fresh indeed. Even to talk about it pains so much. I am trusting you wouldn't do to me what you are fearing I will do to you. The world is filled with hatred, mistrust and mischief. I have given you all that you want... just tell me your mind, that is, what should be done next! Remember, in all these, do not be angry.

Truth and Trust is what should be our shield. I want you to be my comfort... I really have come to love you more: A WOMAN OF SUBSTANCE!!!

Till I hear from you.

With all my Love,

Iyke




Brandie has sent the lad a reply, she pretty much ignored all of what he said, she is only interested in getting his photos, after all, his wish is my command :).

Hiya baby,

I have read your email twice over, and I am still very annoyed with you, I told you I wanted your photos by today, Thursday, instead of that you have sent me a long email rambling on about things, I said I wanted your photos, and in your email you said, my wish is your command if I still want them, well yes I do still want to see them, damn right I do honey.

Like your ex fiancee, as you call her, I am also losing patience with you right now, you need to get your finger out and send me the photos, I will not wait as long as your ex did, I have little or no patience, I hate waiting for things, I want to see you in all your naked glory.

Just to refresh your memory, this is what I want from you, I want to see a full length head to toe photo of you when you are soft, and I want the same full length head to toe photo of you with your big boy fully erect, I would also like to see you lying naked on your bed to get an idea of your size compared to my bed, as I might need to buy a bigger king size bed for the both of us.

You need to reply to me straight away and tell me when you are planning on sending me your photos, once I have seen you, I will know for real that you are single and only have eyes for sweet little old me, you can be sure to receive a phone call from me after that.

Luther is still doing well, the doctors have said he cannot travel yet as there is still some slight brain swelling, what they have said is, he can go back to the US possibly before June 15th, he wants me to stay here with him for the time being, so we could return any time up to that date depending on what the doctors say if he is fit to return earlier.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





The lad has replied to, Brandie, he didn't like my last email for some reason, but he is going to send the photos by the end of next week, he's borrowing a friends digital camera so he can do the photos at home, meaning he can do the bed shot I asked for :), I asked for a bed shot so that it can be photoshopped in to something crude later on, maybe a goat or a man on the bed with him if the angle is wide enough :), it seems his big boy has got bigger, it's now 6.3 feet HAHAHA :)

Subject: ANGER GIVES HYPERTENSION!

My Love,

There is something I don't like in a woman... A woman who is over headstrong! I don't want to believe that you are the one who wants to use me now. I wanted to explain to you the pains I went through and you called it rambbling. You supported your fellow woman and even went ahead to claim you are worse than her. All these you tell someone you love... I really don't want to believe that you want to use me. There are other lovely ways of telling me NO to my request. I don't like the way you sounded in your last mail to me. What should be our guide as of the moment is just TRUTH AND TRUST. If you don't have these two things where I am... well...

I hope if I grant you your request you will be happy. I wouldn't want to have an unhappy sweet little old you by my side. I am not a heart breaker, I am a heart mender. I like all around me to be happy now and always. So, by the weekend of next week, I wll send you all that you wanted. It is this long because my friend who has a nice digital camera is not in town as of the moment. I will have to use the camera in the house, on my bed as you requested. So, by Friday or saturday next week... give a kiss to my 6.3 feet boy! ... I will proof to you that I'm very single, honest and truthful.

Are you happy now? You better be.

With all my Love,

Iyke




The lad has replied and attached 3 naked photos, unfortunately, they are really crap photos, he mentions in his email that his friends camera is knackered and they are not very clear, they were slightly worse, I have got them as clear as I can on photoshop, that tells you how bad the camera must have been, sadly, they are not good enough, he will have to borrow a camera and do some more so we can see him clearly.

When she replies tomorrow, Brandie will not be impressed by his little boy which he said had a big boy :), also something else I note, it does look very like him, but I have a slight suspicion that it might be someone else in the photos, only a slight suspicion, though, need clearer photos to make sure, and another thing, the text is not his normal writing, after every full stop, there is no space before the first letter of the next sentence, he never writes like that, hmmmm.

Subject: WITH UNRESERVED LOVE

Honey,

How are you today?Hope you are sound and okay for me.Really i dont know how to express the love i have for you.Honnest what happened between me and my Ex-fiancee really happened as a miracle because it happened at the right time.She left me for another Man while God gave me a Golden Woman to replace her.I have nothing to regreat since you are by my side i must let you know.

Attached are the Naked Pictures you requested.It happened that My Friends Camera has a small fault,It cannot snap clear pictures.I dont have any other alternative than to use it like that.You know here in Nigeria things are somehow regarded expecially things like taking Naked pictures in the Photo Studio.That is why i cant go the Public studio to take the picture.I had to manage my friennds Camera.The pictures are not very clear anyway even my friend took it out of my instruction as you want it.Please accept it the way you saw it.

I have to do this to prove my Honnest and Sincerity to you my beloved and the only one in my life.I promise you the best of love when i come over to United State.I will give you all you want when we meet.I assure you real love,Good sex,Take care of you.lOOK I love you more than you know.My Love for you is just like God Loves Little kids.I will always make you happy,Please kindly accept the pictures the way you see it.I had to do this to let you know that i am very SINGLE for you to cherish forever.I LOVE YOU.

If you watch the vhs Cassete i send to Luther,I am the Police man there,I am not Fat and dont like to be fat.I am not upto six feet tall but i am a little bit tall,So please do consider the kind of Bed you will like to change.I dont like to hear that you are unhappy.Already i am thinking of Howmany children we will have.You must be the Mother of All my children.I am 38 and you 33.We are for each other.Tell everybody,Let them here that (IYKE IS FOR BRANDIE)I have reserved my body and soul for you to love,Take forever.I have no mark or stain on my body,Just sound and fresh for you my Everlasting Love.I love you once more.

How is Luthers condition?Hope he responding to treatment.I and all the members of My Group are seriously praying for his getwell soon.We cant wait to be in USA for the real Recording and the production of the New Cover Version of the YMCA.Honey this is our Meal Ticket like i told you before and i wish you use your contact to make things great.Are you and the Producer still in UK or now in USA.Extend my greeting to Luther.Tell him that Iyke always ask about his health.

Honey i stop here for today,Waiting to hear from you.I expect to get your call as soon as you receive this email.Cant wait to talk to my Angel.

My Warmest Regards to you,

With All My Love.

Have My kiss,

Iyke

WARNING: not suitable for work naked scammer image links below, also, if you are under 18 years of age, DO NOT view them!

Iyke Naked 1
Iyke Naked 2
Iyke Naked 3




Brandie has sent the lad a reply, she concentrated on telling him what she thought of his small boy, I hope I didn't make him feel too bad about it :), and of course, I asked him to retake the photos again, I didn't bother mentioning about how the producer is doing, so he will probably email GWB to ask about that, at which time, I can also ask him for an update on the new banner :).

Hiya baby,

Are you trying to take the piss out of me? Do you really expect me to accept those damn lousy photos you sent, I can hardly make your face out, I can only just see your small boy in one of the photos, I can't even see it at all in the other photo, and hey, I thought you told me you had a big boy down there, I mean, come on, does it come in adult size, it really is very small!

Some women must have been lieing to you if you think you have got a big boy, did a woman ever tell you that you that you had a big boy? Honestly baby, your small boy size is nothing much to brag about, it's possibly one of the smallest small boys I have seen in my life, maybe even the smallest, it's hard to tell with the bad photos, you say it's 6.3 inches, well I'm guessing it's about 3.3 inches by the looks of it, but try not to let it bother you too much, as any woman will tell you, size is not important, it's what you do with it, and in your case, as it's so small, you had better be damn good with your fingers and tongue to make up for your shortfall in the small boy department, honestly, you look like a small boy, although you are very muscled, which is nice, but you don't make love with your muscles.

Baby, I wish I could accept your photos, but there is no way I can, they are terrible, you should slap the photographer for his dad effort, he is useless, if I was there now, I would crack the damn camera over his skull. You need to borrow a good camera from someone, seriously, you need to retake the photos, even the bed shot is not great, it's slightly clearer than the others, but I wanted to see you sprawled naked across a big double bed, not lying on your side on a small box bed, I can't tell a damn thing from that bed photo you sent, because it's a photo taken from the side, I want the photo to be from above showing you on the bed, you need to sort this out right away, I am not someone you can mess about with crappy photography, I used to be a model and I know about photography, you have made me wait a whole week to see these photos, and they are damn awful, sort it out or you can forget about singing in the US, it's your choice.

Don't even think about emailing me again unless you have attached clear photos in poses like I asked for, if you even dare to send me an email without new photos attached to it, I will tell Luther straight away that you are using me and taking me for a fool, I mean it, don't email me unless it's to send your clearer photos. Just one other thing, do not expect me to wait another week for your photos, Like I told you before, I have no patience at all, infact, when I have to wait for things, it drives me nuts, so the sooner you send them to me, the quicker we can move on.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





I have been looking closely at still images and the videos, then comparing them to the naked photos he sent posted above, I am now pretty certain it is him in the photos. He has mailed GWB today, he has finished the Steelers banner and just wanted to see where I wanted it sending to, the rest of his email is moaning about Nigerian petrol prices, yawnnnnnnn, he didn't mention that he sent naked photos to Brandie :).

Subject: THE SAME DESTINATION?

Your Excellency,

I should have contacted you before now. I wanted to finish with the making of the banner, which I have finished. I just want to know if I would be sending it to the same destination. Or, I would be sending it to a different destination.

Things in Nigeria here are not rossy at all. Before Obasanjo went back to his farm in his village, while acting as the President, gave the nation a very nice wicked package by increasing the price of gasoline. He claimed that the government was paying a 10% vat on the fuel being imported from outside the country.

The Nigerian nation has crude oil, but imports refined gasoline from outside; has refinaries which he didn't repair in his tenure, but went ahead to sell off at the tail end of his administration. All these culminated to civil agitation. The Nigerian Labour Congress had to threaten to go on strike after a 14 days ultumatum, so that the government would be forced to look into the suffering of the poor masses. Transportations as of the moment is somehing else.

Everyone is complianing bitterly about the situation of things. It was just yesterday that the government after a long meeting with the NLC had to reduce the price increase to a certian level. The NLC has said over the media that they would have to look into it, then know if they would still embark on the strike of not. As of now, no one knows what will happen next. In God we trust.

I just want to know the destination to send the finished banner. I do not know if the producer has returned to the US. I have not gotten any information from Brandie. She mentioned earlier on that he would be going back to the US by the 15th of this month depending on the level of the improvement of his health. Probably, he, by God's special grace, has gone back to the US. May the good Lord continue to protect him.

Till I hear from you Sir. May God be with you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I sent a short reply to him, of course, he can't email Brandie until he sends new clearer naked photos, and GWB hasn't heard from Brandie, so can't tell him the status of the producer, I guess he had better hurry up and borrow a camera from someone, because he cant send Brandie and email without any photos attached, or she will fuck him up :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I assumed you might have been busy making the banner, and I didn't want to distract you as I know you wanted to do a great job with no spelling errors, so I decided not to contact you until you contacted me. I trust that this banner is free of errors, you must be getting quite accomplished at banner making now after all this practice.

Yes, please send the banner to the same address again, here it is for reference:

address snipped

I have not heard from Brandie since her last email some time ago, so I have no idea about the producers health, I'm sure that brandie will give you an update if you contact her directly.

I'm sorry this is only a short email, I have a lot of meetings to attend to at the moment and I'm very short of time, needless to say, thank you again for all of your hard work.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





I have a problem with my George Bush email account, I sent the lad a reply last night, it acted as normal and said the email was sent, when I logged out, it went to the webmail home page, rather than back to the login page like it normally does, been trying to login today and it wont let me in, sent myself a test email and it bounced :(.

I have no idea why they would disbale my GWB account, there is no spamming from the account, it's only used for mailing this one lad, and I know he hasn't reported it as he mailed me yesterday, I wonder if the mail2world.com people have been noticing me pretending to be GWB and suspended my account because of that, or maybe their filters picked up on certain keywords and they think I am a scammer, I do know that has happened with other baiter accounts. I hope the feds don't come knocking on my door asking me why I am impersonating GWB :)

I sent laddy an email with my new address, also asked him for all the details of the choir members, as I did not copy those from the now disabled email account.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

I am having terrible email server problems with my usual email account, I sent you a reply last night confirming that the same address should be used to send the new banner to in the US, and although it said the email was sent, I'm not so sure it was, I had numerous problems with mailing other people straight after sending your email, so I have no idea if you received the email I sent to you? I did send you the address for reference, here it is again in case you never received my email:

(address snipped)

So, due to the email server problems I am experiencing, for all future correspondence, I will be using this, my personal Yahoo account, normally, I only use this account for conducting personal correspondence with family and friends, but for the purpose of contacting you, it will suffice at this stage in the proceedings.

Have you completed the list of all members of the choir who will be travelling to the US? To save any confusion or errors, please send me an updated list of every member of your choir who will be travelling, please send me details of each member, formatted like this:

Personal Details.
1) Name:
3) Date of birth:
2) Address:
4) Phone number:
5) Passport photo image only needed for replacement choir members, I have the other previous photos on file:

Next Of Kin Details.
1) Name:
2) Address:
3) Email address:
4) Phone number:

Damn, forgot to ask for the email addies of all choir members, not just their next of kins addies, I will mention that when he replies.

There is no need for you to send each one individually as you did before, to save time for both of us, please include all of the details for each choir member in one single email!

Feel free to add my personal email address to your contacts, this is where I am now emailing you from:

[addy snipped]@yahoo.com

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





The lad has replied to GWB's new personal Yahoo addy and accepts it without question, even considers it a privilege :), he moans a bit more about the taxes in Nigeria, it cost him 10% more VAT to send the banner and the strike is causing rehearsal problems. He has not replied to Brandie yet, obviously does not want to incur her wrath by not mailing without the photos.

Subject: THE NIGERIA'S INDUSTRIAL ACTION

Your Excellency,

Thank you very much for your mail.

I didn't get the first mail you sent from the usual email address. I got the mail you sent from your personal email address. I am very happy to have gotten such a privilage to be sent a mail from an email address you reserved for friends and family members. I am very grateful. I understood all that you said therein.

The industrial strike in Nigeria has virtually crumppled most businesses. The Courrier houses are all crumppled as well. I, however, gave them the package to keep so that by the time the strike is called off, it will be picked up. I have attached the International Air way bill reciept. The Tracking number is: xxxx xxxx xxxx. The form number ID is : xxxx. It was given today, the 21st of June, 2007.

I do not know what is wrong with my country. I do not understand how my country will have all the amenities that are required for better welfare of the masses but is still in the dark, making the poor masses to suffer un-necessaryly. Prices of things has shot up. Even the price for the sending of the banner also increased because of the 10% added VAT. This is one of the reasons why this strike is being held. Surely, this is very disheartening. May the good Lord come to our help.

I will surely give you the detailed list of the members of the choir coming to the US by next week. I want to make sure that those whose names are sent across are those that merits it. I would not want to make any mistake in the final list. So, by God's special grace, I will send the comprehensive list by next week. Even at the moment, the rehearsals are somehow because of the strike. Majority can not get the transport to the rehearsal venue. Those that live nearer, however, are continueing the rehearsals waiting when the strike would be called off.

I thank you again for sending me a mail from your very personal email address. I feel very elated in spirit. The good Lord has blessed you and will ever continue to bless you all the days of your life. Remain blessed!

Till I hear from you.

Iyke Mbaegbu.

Here is the shipping receipt, it cost him N10,934 Naira to send this one = $85.76 = 43.03 = 63.99, that brings his total shipping charges so far to: N40,418 Naira = 225,04 = 332,12 = $446,35





The lad has replied to Brandie, very short email and sent 3 new naked photos, these are a lot clearer than the last photos he sent, and clearly identifiable as the lad, not brilliant photos, but they will certainly do for sending to all his friends in the choir at the end of the bait, when Brandie finds out he is a scammer, she will be pissed, happy days LOL :).

Subject: The pictures

Honey,

How are you today?Hope you are Okay.

I had to try all my possible best to make sure that you are happy.Hope all goes well with this.

My Warmest Regards,

Iyke.

He attached these 3 naked photos :).

WARNING: not suitable for work naked scammer image links below, also, if you are under 18 years of age, DO NOT view them!

Iyke Naked 1
Iyke Naked 2
Iyke Naked 3





I didn't reply to his email with the photos the other day, so he mailed me today asking if I got them:

Subject: Did you receive the pictures

My Love,

Did you receive the pictures i sent to you.I am waiting to hear from you.

I want you to be happy always so please let me know if you got them.

God will Continue to bless us.

Regards

Iyke




I replied saying I didn't get the photos, might as well make him spend a few Naira to scan and send them again :).

Hiya baby,

No, I have not received any photos from you, are you playing games with me baby, saying you sent them when really, you didn't? If you did send photos like I asked, where are they? Send them to me again, I will let you know when they arrive in my inbox, you better not be messing me about again.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





The lad sent Brandie a reply today, he also rescanned his naked photos, I'm not sure he will think much of her reply LOL :).

Honey,

I Sent you this pictures before.I dont know why you never received them in your box.I had to send it again.

Attached are the pictures.

My Regards

Iyke




I sent him a reply, of course, I had to concentrate most of the email on the small size of his willy :), thank god I know a surgeon who can help with his small size, he must read my emails and feel so dejected, small boy scammer LOL :)

Hiya baby,

I got your photos this time, OH MY GOD, it really is you standing there naked, I am shocked to see you in the flesh, I thought you might have got someone else to take the frist set of photos, because they were so unclear it looked like another lad instead of you.

Now I can see you clearly in the new photos, thank you so much, the photos made me smile, you are even smaller than I imagined, in the other photos, it was hard to see exactly how small you big boy was, but with these new photos, I can see just what a small boy you are.

Don't worry about your small boy size, because when you are in the US, you will be making big money from your music, and I can book you in at a surgical clinic run by a plastic surgeon friend of mine, he does all sorts of plastic surgery including, phalloplasty, for men with small boys, he is the same surgeon who gave me the implants to make my tits bigger, he will work on your small boy and make it in to a very big boy, would you be happy having 10 inches of big meat instead of that sad excuse for a penis that you have now?

I chatted with my surgeon friend about it today on Yahoo messenger, and I sent him your photos to show him how small you are, he said there is a lot he can do to make you very big for me, the operation will only take about 2 hours, then you can really please me after the operation when the wounds have healed.

You look great sprawled on the bed, you are taller than I thought you might be, so I have ordered a new king size bed for when you arrive in the US, it will be delivered to my apartment before I get home, I have told the maid to expect the delivery, I long for the day that you are lieing on the bed with me, but not before you have surgery on that tiny thing you call a big boy, then we can have some real fun.

Luther was not allowed to travel back to the US on the last date I gave you, the doctors scanned his brain again before making their decision, their conclusion was that he should not travel at that time, the reason being that, there is still a small amount of swelling on his brain, and if he was to take a flight, the air pressure in the cabin once the plane was in flight, could cause his brain to swell bigger than the size of his skull, causing a major problem, as the plane would be in flight, with no medical team on hand to perform emergency surgery, he would probably die during the flight, therefore, there was no way he could take the risk to fly at that time, the new date they have given him to travel back to the US is, July 5th, which is a shame, because American independence day is on July 4th, and we will both miss the celebrations, never mind, as long as he we get home safe and sound, that's all that matters.

Thank you for sending the new photos darling, I can't wait for you to have surgery on that little thing of yours, thinking back to your earlier emails about your fiancee leaving you, the real reason she left you, is probably because her new man in the village that she is engaged to, he is probably a lot more manly in the penis department than you are, chances are, that you never satisfied her sexually in all the time you were with her, and she could not bear to be engaged to you, let alone think of marrying you, anyway, you are mine now, and everything will be cool once the surgeon has finished with you!

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





It looks like the Nigerian strike is over, as the new banner was picked up in Lagos and is now in the UK, enroute to Reprob8 in the US of A :)





The lad has sent 2 emails to Brandie today, the first one is a sort of poem with some images attached to it, it's a nice poem, but it was ruined by calling me mummy :-/, I will have to have words with him about that :). His main email is in reply to my email making fun of his small manhood, he took it pretty well, and it appears he fancies having that plastic surgery to give him 10 inches LOL :).

Subject: Touch Me There

Mummy,

Touch Me There
I only ask that you'll touch me there later

I Miss You
I miss your kisses and all that we share

In Bed
I'd spend the whole day in bed with you

Hot and Wet
Just thinking about you makes me hot and wet!

I Can Feel You
You're far away, but, I can feel you

Love You Always.

With All My Love,Kisses,Romance and all that makes up Good Relationship.

Regards

Iyke

He attached these images to his beautiful poem :).

Expose

I_Missed_You

In_the_bed

Romantic

Touch_Me_There

This is his reply to my last email where I said his willy was small :)

Subject: TAKE ME AS YOURS FOREVER

My Angel,

Thanks for your mail.I am very happy to hear that you are a happy woman Now.I hate to see you Annoyed,That is why i had to take the Nude pictures for the second time to prove to you how i think of you and i cant stop to prove it to you now and Forever.Well i dont know how you see my big boy which you said that is small.You just saw it on the internet but you never touch it.I assure you that you will be satisfy when you have it for the first time when i came to America.

Honey you mean you want it to be 10 Inches long,Mhhhhhh Ahhhhhhhh,You mean you are so deep to swallow such seize of Big Meat.Thats means you will be so sweet than honey.I cant wait to see you face to face,I love you and i really want you to know it right now,I mean you are just a breakthrough in my life.Knowing you just exactely after my Fiancee abandoned me for a wealthy Man not because of sex as you mentioned that i dont use to satisfy her.No is not,but because of the Mans too much wealth which i beleive i am about to step into, i mean Big Guys level.

Tell everyone there that i am for you now ever,Ring it as a bell in the ears of everyone both male and female.You are just like my future,You know what i mean.Plan everything to be okay,Make things to happen there in the States,Lay a good foundation Stone for the Production and the Recording of the Y.M.C.A.Song there In America before i touch ground with my Group.

Extend my Warmest Regards to Luther.Tell him that i and all the Members of My Group are praying for his quick recovery and beleiving God that he will be fit in a short time.All the members of my group are waiting for the day to be in America which they are seriousley working and rehearsing for.

For your independent day celebration which you will not be part of the celebration.Well Luthers Accident is unforseen,If you didnot celebrate this year Independent,then we will celebrate Coming year.

I Stop here so far,

Out of Sight is not Out of Mind they say

With All My Love,

Love You Always,

Regards

Iyke




Reprob8's new Steelers banner was delivered today :), I hope for the lads sake that there are no errors on it :).

[edit]

Here is the new banner, looks like he used yellow silk instead of the gold silk used on the last one.





My lad has sent a reply to GWB, he's asking if the banner is ok, I think I will let him off with it this time and give him a little respite, I mean, that's 4 banners Reprob8 has had now, 3 from this lad alone, greedy git :), anyway, I need him to keep some money for his little safari to pick up the choir visas :).

Subject: I HOPE THIS ONE IS BETTER!

Your Excellency,

Thank you very much for your mail.

I hope you have gotten the banner by now. The tracking status shows 'delivered'. I also hope it is better job this time around. The printer was very sorry for that careless mistake. However, this job now was well done.

I have told the members of the choir to intensify their prayers for Luther. I thank God that His Holiness, Pope Benedict X1V will also offer masses for his welbeing. The good Lord will continue to protect him and grant him quicker recovery. However, Brandie sent a mail the other day saying that Luther and she will be going back to US by the 5th of July. The doctors wanted to make sure that Luther would not develope any complications in the plane while travelling back to the US. By God's special grace, he will come out of this ill health in one piece.

Sir, due to the industrial strike that took place here in Nigeria, most things are very disordered. The rains too will not help matters. Transportations are on the higher side. Consequently, some members of the choir are not able to attend rehearsals and some want to hide under the umbrella of the confussion to give unneccessary excuses. I want to make sure that I wouldn't give credit to someone who does not merit the credit. I will have to, then, send the names by next week. By then, I will actualy know those who are still with us and those who have left. By thursday next week, I will surely be ready with actual list of the credited members to replace the ones that left or were told to leave the group.

Sir, Brandie also mentioned the independence day coming up by the 4th of July. I never knew that was the date that America got her independence. Anyways, God will continue to guide and guard you as you celebrate yet another independence Day as the Excecutive President of the United States Of America! Congratulations Sir. Happy celebrations in advance. Brandie is not happy that she would be missing the celebrations. Anyway, she would have to make up when she comes back with Luther. God bless her and Luther!

There is yet another rain brewing out there! I will have to rush home now, if not the roads will be so bad when it starts pouring down in torrents. Till I hear from you. Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Brandie has sent a reply to the lad, she tells him about a new film that the producer is discussing with a film producer about his life story, and asks whether he would be happy to drop the choir to become a solo artist.

I am doing this so that the lad still has options open once GWB finds out he is a scammer, GWB will tell the lad that he is going to tell the producer about him being a scammer, and that he will not help the lad and his friends to get to the US by providing visas for them, and never to email him again, he will also be emailing the choir members to tell them why they are not going to the US, due to their leader being a scammer.

The producer will be very pissed at the lad, and tell him there is no way on earth he is bringing his choir to the US, but after having a think about it, the producer is only interested in $$$, so suggests to the lad that he come to the US on his own, under his own steam, for a solo career and the film, and take it from there :).

Hiya baby,

Yes I am very happy now, you have made my life complete, well nearly complete, it will only be complete once my surgeon friend has made your small boy in to a man size boy, because when I first saw your small boy, I said to myself, "does that come in adult size", it's unbelieveable how small you are, I am sure many women have complained to you about your small size before, but don't worry, once you have been under the knife in the hands of the skillful surgeon, you will have a big boy to be proud of, and yes I do want you to have 10 inches, anything smaller than that is not worth bothering with.

I have been really bigging you up to Luther, telling him how great you sound and what a big star you will be, he agrees, he loves the way you sound, he compared you to Michael Jackson when he was younger, he actually prefers your voice to that of the others in the choir, he thinks you could be a big solo star in your own right without the choir.

He even asked me if you would be happy to drop the choir completely, so that he can concentrate on showcasing you in association with 50 Cent and other major artists like that, would you like that baby?

Personally, I am only interested in you, the choir mean nothing to me, all I want is for you to be a megastar making multi millions of dollars, so you can look after me in the way that I deserve to be looked after. You are very limited to what you can do with the choir, you would be so much better on your own without them, you must admit, the men in the costumes who sang the American version of YMCA with you, were not very good singers, they were so out of tune and they can't dance proprly, you on the other hand, have the voice of an angel and you move like Michael Jackson, you are a cut above the rest of the choir.

Get this baby, this is like major news, a while ago before the acident, Luther suggested to one of his film producer friends in Hollywood, that they make a feature film about your life story so far, Hollywood writers have already started work on writing the film script and it is nearly finished, they want 50 Cent to play you in the film, and he is very interested in doing it, he has read the film script and thinks the storyline is brilliant, can you imagine that, 50 Cent playing YOU in the film about your life, it's also a great opportunity for 50 Cent to get in to the film business as he wants to become a serious actor instead of singing all the time, that would like so cooooooool darling with him playing you, but the best part is, when this film is released, it will gross hundreds of millions of dollars, and as it's your story, you mill make tens of millions from it, like $50,000,000 Million dollars or something, obviously, before they finish the script, the writers will need to sit down with you and go through you life story so they can fill in the blanks in the script, and sign the contracts for the film rights and stuff, but as of now, the skeleton storyline of the script is nearly finished, they just need to fill in the blanks when you get to the US, I will be so proud of you honey. Would you be prepared to drop the choir to do all this so that you and I can be happy?

I can't ever remember being so happy in my life since I met you, we will be so happy together, we can have big mansions, stretch limousines, huge parties in our mansions, all the famous Hollywood stars and music stars will want to hang out with us, it's freaking me out just thinking about it all, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I love you so much baby and I can't wait to be with you for ever and ever!

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





GWB sent the lad a reply about receiving the banner, I also told him that Lagos will vanish some time soon, which is true, I read about it in detail, although I changed it from 50 years to 20 year time span and said it could happen at any time, another reason why he will be better off in the US :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

The banner arrived safely and is now in posession of my friend, he is delighted with it, although he would have preferred the gold silk used on the last banner instead of the yellow silk you used, at least there were no errors on it this time.

It surely is great news if Luther gets the go ahead to return to the US on the 5th, I have received an email from, Brandie, she told me much the same as she told you, from all accounts, he could not take the flight due to a concern over the cabin pressure which could cause his brain to swell, it will be great to have him home safe and sound, he will no doubt need some time to convalesce, as with any sort of brain injury, the patient needs to recuperate and take things easy for some time, the most important thing is that he is alive and making a good recovery.

I am surprised you had never heard of the 4th of July, for that surely is an important day in US history, independence day commonly known as "the fourth of July" or "July 4th" is a federal holiday celebrating the adoption of the declaration of independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from Great Britain. It is unfortunate that Brandie and Luther will miss the celebrations, but alas, his health is of paramount importance.

I understand from your email that you are having bad rain in Nigeria, it seems to be like that the world over, here in the US, rain is causing big flooding problems here in states like kansas, it's the same in the UK with many towns flooded there.

Something of interest for you, it is predicted that at any time within the next 20 years, the whole area of Lagos will be consumed by floodwater, it is because of global warning and the low lying ground in Lagos, that the rising rivers will consume the whole area, that is very unfortunate, scientists have ran computer models, and their predictions are very accurate, it could happen next week, or next year, or in 10 years time, but it will happen and Lagos and the surrounding land will cease to exist as a city from that point onwards, sad as it it, it will happen, and again, you are fortunate to be in your position of coming to the US, so you will not be there when it happens.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





A nice long email from the lad to, Brandie, he doesn't want to drop the choir after all their hard work, not that I meant him to drop them now, I wanted him to drop them after they have performed in the US and then go on to be a solo artist, he seems to have misunderstood me, it will make him happy when I reply saying that. He didn't understand what I said about his life story in the film either, more explaining to do again.

Apparently, Brandie is possessive, never LOL, I will have to give hm a little slap for that, asshole :)

I hope to have Eliza taking a phonecall from my lad once Brandie is back in the US, should be interesting, you now what Eliza is like on the phone with lads, hussy LOL :)

Subject: HAPPINESS IS A TWO WAY THING!

My Dear Love,

I got your mail. Thanks.

You and this 10inches 'boy'! If I should have it, it all means I will have to be very gentle with you or I will burst you some day! Well, if that is your choice, I will give it to you.

However, you seem to have much attachment to your self. You sound very possessive. I think happiness is a two way thing. I think our coming together is to make each other very happy. But, it seems you want your happiness above mine. You would have to remember that 'no one does it all by himself'. The choir members you are asking to be dropped are very instrumental to the production of the YMCA music, both the African and the English styles! These are people who have contributed imensly to all that I have been doing all these months; people who are highly involved in this production... financailly, materially, physically... moreover, my friends!

How would I tell them that they are no more with me after all the suffering we underwent for the past seven months! Moreover, I do not think that their coming to the US can distract any other involvement I might get myself into. These are people I have being with all these years, people I am very much used to... Please, I implore you to listen and watch the YMCA African version once more. You would know it has the choir voices. I wouldn't be doing all that alone. I wouldn't be very comfortable without them. If they were not wanted, they wouldn't have been involved in the first instance. Mr. President himself really like their performance. He even requested for our performance after the production at the White House... at one of the White House fuctions. The other five persons you noticed are all good singers too. What we were doing as you can see in the video was just a rehearsal which we have not perfected at the time of the videoing that was sent across.

Futhermore, the film thing you mentioned is something that can still go on on its own without any body interferring. I know I can still carry on on my own when I have finished this particular project I have started with choir. ACCEPT THEM AS YOU ACCEPTED ME. THEY ARE LITERALLY AN INTEGRAL PART OF ME. MY FRIENDS SHOULD BE YOUR FRIENDS! YOUR FRIENDS SHOULD BE MINE TOO. We Africans are very much attached to each other. Once our wedding takes place, you have become a part of my family... my sisters, brothers, parents and relations will also like to see/know their sister-in-law. They wouldn't be pursued away... or would they?!

Futherstill, I cannot remember discussing my life history with you. I am very surprised to hear you say that my life history has been written waiting for me to come over to fill the blank spaces. I am not saying that it is not a good venture, but, at least I have to know how you came to know the history.

Tomorrow is the D'day... July 4th! I really feel with you that you are not in the US celebrating the Independence holidays with the rest of your country men and women. However, since you are looking after our beloved Luther, God will make everything up for you and Luther. How is Luther today? Are you guys still travelling on the 5th of July? The LOrd God will continue to protect you and Luther to arrive safely without any incident.

Sweetheart, make me happy as I promise to make you even more happier. You promised to call me on phone if I should send you my naked photos. Up till now you have not done that. I am still waiting to hear your angelic golden voice over the phone. Give me a call... my Love... I will cherish it so much. I am waiting!!!

Till I hear from you. I still love you as ever.

With All My Love,

Iyke




The lad has also sent a reply to GWB, does he seem worried about what I told him about Lagos being consumed by floods any time soon :).

Subject: GOD SAVE LAGOS!

Your Excellency,

Thank you very much for mail.

I am happy now that at last there were no mistakes in the banner. The colour we used on the last banner with the mistakes was the same we used on this one that is well done. However, it is well now that our friend has gotten the banner at last... STEELERS HERE WE GO!!

I know very well that the members of the choir are praying for the recovery of Luther. He will surely recover and convalesce as soon as possible. By God's special grace, he will surely come back to the US as was stated by the Doctors. Although he would be missing the celebrations but, as you said, his life very important to all of us. God will continue to protect him and grant him a longer life on earth.

Once again, Sir, I wish to say: "HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY CELEBRATIONS"! (In advance) I didn't know the date America got her independence untill you told me. 1776 is a very long long time ago! Woooow! One learns every day. However, I am really very much afraid now. Although for some days now, the heavy rains have subsided, any time there are drizzles, my mind will go to the predictions of the scientists! God save Lagos and all other nations and cities affected in any way by the climates.

Sir, I will request to given a little time more for the sending of the final list of the members of the choir coming to the US. The state of the unkept roads of Lagos and the rains has made movements to be a very painful experience. One would have to be in traffic jam for hours... people now trek home from work. This is really making things to be hard. I want to give those of them that are most affected the grace to see if things will get a bit better over the weekend. I will then send the names by next week tuesday, 10th of July. I will surely send them across on that date.

I will have to go now, Sir. May God continue to bless you. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Brandie has sent a reply to the lad, she will soon be back in the US.

Hiya baby,

Baby, you seem to have completely misunderstood my last email, I didn't mean for you to drop the choir right now, I meant that after you have recorded the YMCA song with them, you can drop them to concentrate on your solo singing career.

What I said about the film of your life story, of course, the script writers do not know anything about your personal early life story, yet, apart from what they have been told about you recording the YMCA song, I told you they had written the skeleton of the script of your life story for the plot of the film, all they need to do is sit down with you so you can fill in the blanks, the blanks being your early life in Africa up to the present day, don't forget, writers also write things that have not happened, they are free to make any storyline that they want, it does not have to be a true reflection of your life story, they add bits to make the film audience enthralled with the film, to keep you on the edge of your seat, things like that, it will be great when it's finished.

Iyke, I need to take issue with you over your comment that I am possessive, that simply is not true, don't ever call me possessive again, I hate it when people say that to me, it makes my blood boil, I am a woman who always gets what she wants, is there anything wrong with that? Maybe you are used to African women who are used to being downtrodden by their men, I wont allow that to happen to myself, so don't think for one minute that you will be walking all over me, if you even try it, I will bust your ass big time baby.

You might be the one who will be making all of the money with your singing and the film rights to your life story, but as your wife, I will use any part of the money in our joint bank account for any damn thing that I like, we will be a team, but if I want to have a big party for all my girlfriends, I will take $200,000 from the bank for that, if I want a new pair of shoes, I will take $5000 to pay for them, you will keep me in the style that I am accustomed to, nothing more, nothing less.

When you are married to me, you are not allowed to look at another woman, I don't care how hot she looks, if you look at her in a horny way, I will cut your balls of and make you eat them, how's that for possessiveness? Trust me baby, if you even look at another woman, I will cut of those damn 10 inches the surgeon gave to you and ram it up your ass, if I hear you talking to a woman in a sexy way, you will be history, does that sound possessive to you? Let us have no more mention of my being possessive, because I am not, if you think I am, then you need to change the way you think, you will be in the US where things are different, and money will not be a problem for us, so get over your preconceived ideas of possessivness, or again, your balls will be mine.

Baby, I love you so much, I can't wait to be with you, luther is doing real good now, but the doctors want to give it a few more days just to make certain he is ok to travel, our flights are booked for July 10th, then we will be back in the US and we can finally be together when you arrive for the recording, this is going to be so great, I can't believe I have met such a nice man as you, just cut out the crap about me being possessive and we will get along just fine.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





There have been no emails form the since 11 days ago on July 3rd, he often goes long periods of time without emailing, so I'm not worried at this point, although his videos are listed on some Nigerian sites now, so there is always the possibility that someone might recognise someone, if that happened I'm sure he would have sent threatening/curse emails to my characters by now, Brandie has sent him a short email asking if he's ok.

Hiya baby,

You have not mailed me for such a long time, is everything ok? I really miss your contact, please mail me again soon.

I am now back in the US with Luther, he still has to take things real easy for a while, but at least we are back on home soil again, it feels sooooo good to be home again.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Aha, the lad has replied at last after 12 days with no contact, apparently his dad has been ill again. His mother wants Brandie to teach her how to speak proper American English :), and Iyke wants to know my measurements so he can have clothing made for me to bring to the US with him, so that I can look African in the clothes, he mentions that he abhors extravagancy, no doubt that was because I said I will take $200,000 from our joint bank accout for a party if I want to :).

Things are coming along nicely, it will soon be time for Eliza Dolittle to do her usual magic phone work on him, so we can get some good audio of the bastard, god knows what Eliza will get up to with him on the phone :).

Subject: HOME SWEET HOME!

My Love,

I would have replied your last mail but, I had to leave urgently to the village to see my sick father. He is very ill with diabetes and hypertension. It is about eight hours drive. But, with the rains it took almost the whole 24 hours to get to the village and to come back. I came back to the city yesternight.

Do you really mean you are now in your own sweet home again after about four to five months away from home? And best still, Luther made the trip without any eventuality through the flight. I am very happy to hear this. How is he? I mean the BIG BOY Luther himself! As you said, it is just a matter of time he will be fully incharge of all that is around him. Extend my happiness to him and also tell him that all of over here are also very happy to hear that he really doing fine. TO GOD BE THE GLORY. WE WILL GIVE A THANKSGIVING SERVICE IN OUR CHURCH ON SUNDAY.

My Love, after going through your previous mail, I told myself that I have really gotten someone who would not want to share me with any other woman. I heard all that you said. But, if I shouldn't look at any woman, I hope you would not look at any other man. I am a jealous man to the core. I never shared a girlfriend in my life not to mention of my wife. I hate it. So, if we should be satisfied with each other, what is it that I will be looking for in another woman that is not in you, MY LOVE! I will take care of you the much my strength would allow me. But, I abhour extravagancy! I will always make sure you are happy, but, remember that my happiness should be your concern too. I believe that two people that loves each other are bound to see to the happiness of each other. I would never be a bore to anybody, and would not want any one to be a bore to me. So, by the time we come to know each other more, we shall really make things work out well.

Look after yourself for me. Also make sure you remain a good PA to Luther. That reminds me. What part of the US are my coming to? You know all these while you have not mentioned it. And, please, what is the recording name of Luther's studio? When is Luther expecting us in the US? Ahaaah! What part of US are you from? How large is your family? You know we have to know each other very well. You told me you would call me if I send my pictures, you seem to have forgotten it. Or now that you are back in the US, can you send your number so that I can call you.

My Love, can you send me your measurement... that is for ladies tops and long carribean skates! I want to make some for you over here and bring them along when coming. I want you to look African in the wonderful attire I will make for you. Even the members of the choir will put on some of these wonderful clothens. Can you give me the measurements? I hope you would!

I will have to leave now. I hve been busy since morning here. Since my absence, things have been accumulating, seeking for attention. I'll leave you here hoping to hear from you my Love.

Lastly, I told my parents about you. They sent their greetings to you. My Mum said that you will teach her how to speak english in the real American way! So, till I hear from you. I love you and will never stop except you tell me to....

With all my Love,

Iyke




He also sent 5 emails to GWB with the photos, names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses of all the choir members who are going to the US, and the same details for their next of kins, there were 46 choir members on the list, it must have been confusing for him as he made several errors whilst scanning photos and doing the list. He seems to be under the impression the Luther will be fully recovered in a few days, and be ready to go out playing football, LOL :), or maybe that is a common phrase over there in Nigeria

Subject: THANKS TO GOD FOR LUTHER!!!

Your Excellency,

It has been a hectic time for me all these while. I would have written you before now but, I had to travel to the village to attend to my sick father. Actaully, he sent for me. It was all about his sickness. He is very sick... hypertension and diabetes miletus. That was why I have not written all these while. I do not have access to the internet in the village. I came back to Lagos yesternight.

I got a mail from Brandie! She said that Luther and she has gone back to the US! That is indeed a great news. God heard our prayers. Although he still requires sometime to rest, that he made it from the UK to the US is a great jump indeed. It is now a matter of few days and he will start playing football. Glory be to God in the highest. I am very happy about this. I told some of the choir members when I read the mail and they were very happy. We will do a thankgiving service in our church thanking God for this great favour he is doing for us. To God be the glory.

I will send in the complete names of the member of the choir that would be coming to the US after I have sent this mail now. I wouldn't waste much time to rejoice with Luther for going back to the US... home soil... Home is always sweet. May God continue to heal him, to protect him and make him more than what he is now. He is blessed.

I request to end this mail here so that I will send in the complete list.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





His email with the list of names.

Subject: THE COMPLETE NAMES.

Your Excellency,

Below are the comrehensive list of the names of the members that will be making the journey to the US both old and new. The attached pictures belong to the newly added names that replaced the deleted names. The pictures of the old members were not sent as you instructed... they are in the file as you said. The newly added names are placed towards the end of the list. The names of the choir members that will not make the journey did not appear in this list, they are only in the old list. In other words, this current list is the real list that we will work with.

HERE ARE THEY:

[details of 46 choir members and details of their next of kins snipped]

Sir,

Till I hear from you.





There were 3 other emails from him with lists of choir members, but he made a mistake somewhere and sent this last email with all the names again, along with a photo of every member of the choir :).

Subject: THERE WAS A GRAVE MISTAKE IN THE FIRST ATTACHMENT.

Sir,

I discovered that there was a very silly mistake in the attachment of the pictures of the newly added members. I had to resend this mail to make sure that they are properly attached.

I am sorry for the mistake. I will have to leave now waiting to hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Brandie has replied to the lad, I have asked for his number again so that Eliza can hopefully give him a call. As his mother wants to learn to speak English in the real American way, I gave him some phrases for her to practice, and also for him to practice, so Brandie can test him when he has to say them on the phone :).

Hiya baby,

Oh baby, I'm sorry to hear about your dad being sick, I hope he feels better soon, give him my love.

Yes, we are now back in the US, home sweet home, it's so nice to be back. Luther made the journey without any major problems, his head did wobble a bit during the flight, but it didn't swell and explode, which is good, but as I told you before, he will still need to recuperate for a short while before he goes back to work, as is expected afer all he has been through, after all, he did nearly die from his injury.

I have been so busy since I got back, many things to do after being away for so long, that's why I am late replying to your email, sorry about that my little baby boy.

What's this you mention about abhoring extravagancy, are you suggesting that I am extravagant? All I said to you was, if I want to sepdn a couple of hundred thousand dollars on a party for my girlfriends, that's what I will do, what's the big problem, you will probably be earning hundreds of millions of dollars when you are famous, so a couple of hundred thousand for a party is nothing, when you are a star, you have to live like a star, all the big stars spend like a million dollars and more on the parties they give, hell, even weddings cost upwards of 3 million dollars when someone famous gets married, just chill out baby, I wont be bleeding the bank account dry, we could live of the interest made on the millions, do you have any idea how much the bank pays in interest on $100 million dollars? You have so much to learn about money, be as extravagant as you like, there will be so much money you will never be able to spend it all, plus you can't spend it if you are dead, and who knows, you might get killed in a drive by shooting, so enjoy the money while you can.

When you come to the US, you will more than likely be going to New York, as that is the place where one of the recording studios that Luther uses most, is based, you will love it in New York, it's a great city to live and work in, but after we get married, I want us to move to Texas, I was born there and it's where I want to live, I have already started looking for a property there for us to have as our marital home, most of the properties cost about $5 million dollars, which we will easily be able to afford with the money you will be making from your music and the new movie.

Baby, I can't find your phone number, and I can't be bothered going through all of your previous emails to find it, so send it to me again and I will give you a call, as soon as I receive it.

What the hell are those clothes called "carribean skates" that you mention, I have never heard of those before, please explain what they are? I'm not sure I like what you're saying about wanting me to look African, I am American and I always will be, you can't change the way I look, I love Africa, but there is no way on earth would I dress the way African women do, so please don't try to impose dress style on me, I'm not having it, ok!

Please pass my love on to your mum and dad, and I would be pleased to teach your mum how to speak the real American way, can she speak English already, or just African languages? Here are some common Americam words and phrases for her to practice saying:

1) Yo, wassup my man.
2) Can I have extra pickle on that.
3) Hey bartender, where are the nuts.
4) Dohhh (it's pronounced as "dough")
5) Get real you loser.
6) Who is your daddy and what does he do.
7) I need more doughnuts.

Those are just a few for now, get her to repeat them and when we meet I will teach her how to say them in an American accent, so that she doesn't sound like someone who is from out of town, it will help her to fit in well. I also want you to learn those phrases as well, trust me, I will test you on them when I phone you, ok.

I have to dash now, I am going to get my nails and hair done, I found a new salon to go to and they only charge $1500 for my hair and nails, how cool is that, it usually costs me over $2000 to have it done. Just think, when we are married, I can afford to have my hair and nails done every 3 days like most American women do :)

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





GWB has not sent the lad a reply for 8 days, so it's about time he did, I thought I would mention to him about how the producer was scammed by a Nigerian a couple of years ago, so that when GWB tells him to go to hell, he would still be hoping for the record deal, but now what will the producer think when he hears he is a scammer, all he will have then is Brandie, or will he, who knows what will happen, I have not got to those parts yet, although I know the ending :)

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

My apologies for not replying to your email sooner, I have been snowed under with work lately, and on top of that, on Saturday, I had to have surgery to remove some polpys from my colon, fortunately, the polyps were not cancerous, but they are a worry as I have had them several times before.

During my operation, I was no longer the President of the United States of America, I handed power over to Vice-President, Dick Cheney, for just over two hours, it was two hours and five minutes to be exact, just while I underwent the surgery, I reassumed my authority shortly after the surgical procedure, as soon as I had regained conciousness.

I see you had a few problems sending the correct list of choir members, but as always, you got it right in the end, I have taken note of all the details and will soon be getting your presidential passes made up for when you visit the US.

On the subject of coming to the US, have you had any more news from Brandie about the producer? I had an email from Brandie saying they were back in the US, but I have not heard a whole lot more since that time. What's this I hear about you and Brandie getting together, is there something serious going on between you two?

I have it on good authority that wedding bells are in the air, is that correct? If that is correct, I am very surprised by this news, mainly because you have not yet met each other, have you been emailing each other a lot since I introduced you to her by giving you her email address?

Iyke, there is something you need to be made aware of, as you know, Luther is Brandie's Godfather, and whilst he has nothing personal against Nigerians in general, as has been proven by him wanting you to record this song, he was scammed by someone in Nigeria about 2 years ago, I think he lost about $80,000 to the 419 scammer who conned him, it was some sort of music deal if I remember correctly.

Being Brandies Godfather, he looks out for her all the time, so when you finally get to meet him, let him know your intentions towards Brandie are purely from love, and that you will do nothing to hurt her or let her down by using her in some way, it's just that since he got scammed, he is always suspicious of the motives of people, it's nothing personal, it's just the way he is now since the scam, I thought I would let you know about that in advance so that you are prepared for any questions he might throw at you!

I still have a lot of work to catch up with, keep me up to date on everything that is happening with you.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Today, I received 2 emails, one for GWB and one for Brandie, he tells Brandie his mother is practicing the words and sentences I gave to him, in particular, the first sentence of "yo, wassup my man" :), he gave me his phone number again, so hopefully, Eliza Doolittle can give him a call soon, that should be interesting :), he also tells GWB that Brandie is stubborn because of the naked photos he had to send to her :).

Subject: YOU ARE BLESSED!

Your Excellency,

Thank you very much for your email.

The way you spoke of the operation you had was as if it wasn't something seroius. You even had to hand over the office of the President to the Vice-President before the surgery! I know what it means over here when one says that they are going for an operation. Well, with your position and the well managed environs of your country, you are trully blessed. I thank God that you underwent the operation without any complications. You are always the great man you have ever being! You are blessed!

Brandie send me a mail sometime ago. She indeed spoke of their coming back to the US. But, she also mentioned about the producer taking some time to rest. Actually, he really requires that deserved rest. For one to undergo brian surgery... he really need the time to recuperate before resuming work. However, she did not give the duration of the rest; niether did she give the time of our coming to the US. I will send her an email after I finish with this one now.

Sir, you got it very correct about the 'wedding bells in the air'. I mentioned to you sometime ago about Brandie's fury with my refusal to send her my nude pictures then. Right from the moment I sent her the first mail, after you sent me her email address, she has been confessing her love for me. However, to cut the long story shorter, I agreed to settle down with her since my ex-girlfriend jilted me for another man. She told me that she is looking out for some properties that we would occupy as husband and wife when I have finished the recording of the YMCA song.

Your surprise about talking about marriage without seeing much of each other is well founded. She sent me her pictures, both clothed and nude, and I sent mine across to her also... although, not without a fight! I know I want to really settle down and I think she is also thinking in the same direction. According to her, she is not getting any younger... and wants to make her own babies. Likewise myself! However, I have told her that we would still have to learn more about each other and manage those aspects that we cannot change. Only that she sounds very sturbborn. I like her courage.

Furthermore, I am very sorry for the scam that Luther experienced. I understand how he feels. I thank God the EFCC is really doing some good job over here now. Some former governors are now answering questions about their misuse of funds and corruption while in office. While many are calling for the probing of Obasanjo so that EFCC will get more credit and reduce some critics who are saying that if the governors are to be probed, then it should not be selective. With time by God's special grace, this deadly worm eatingdeep into the bone marrows of those in power and the youths of Nigeria will be given a real dose of deworming medicine that will flush this worm out of the system forever. I am sorry that such a thing was experienced by Luther. I know that my intentions for Brandie are genuine. I have told her that. I will do my very best to keep my promise come what may. Unless Brandie herslf says that she is no longer interested in the long term relationship. I have come to love heras she loves me. So, whatever, Luther should ask me when I come to the US, I will tell him what I am saying now. I am very confident of all these happening. My God will see me through.

Sir, there is something I do not understand. Do you mean after undegoing this surgery, you are still working? If it were here, in Nigeria, I know the Mr President will take some leave of office to have some rest. Wouldn't it be good to take a rest? I asume you know the best option. In whichever way you choose, may God continue to take good care of you. May you have the wisdom to choose what is rigth for youself and for the people you are leading. May good health of mind and body be yours. YOU are blessed. Amen.

I do not know... Brandie did not mention the duration of the rest of Luther, niether did she mention the time we are expected in the US. I will like it very much if I am told about the time we are expected in the US, so that we will get oursevles much more ready for the trip.

I will have to leave you now. I have said much already. I am sorry if I were long in this mail. May God continue to bless you. You are blessed. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.


This was the email he sent to Brandie.


Subject: GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN.

My Love,

Thank you for your mail. Happy enjoyment on home soil.

I would have replied earlier on, but, I had to get down to the village again to give my old man certain drugs I couldn't lay my hand on at the previous visit. I delivered it and came back to the city yesterday. I not only delivered the drugs, I also delivered your assignment to my mother. My mother is becoming an American woman in speech now. But, she asked if you would test her in Africa here or in the US? She is very seroius with her praticing of the sentences. She pratices with my Dad...expecially with the first sentence, "Yo, wassup my man". My mother speaks more of England english more than American english. However, both my mum and dad are very anscious to see their daughter in-law. You will see to this request.

I have read all that you said. Provided we have the money to spend.... my wife should look great. I will have to confess to you that over here, the amount of money you are mentioning is a great huge amount. But, if I can afford it, then it should be spent wisely. I want the best for you. I only want you to give me the necessary encouragement to go out there and work harder and make the money while I am still young and strong.

The Carribean skate I am talking about is a wonderful evening wear... a kind of long skate that has steps and top to match. But, here, there is a way it is sown and it will be worn at parties. It is not the same thing as the ones you see in the pictures of African women. It is great and mavelous. I wouldn't want something that is not wonderful on you. Just send me your measurements. Even if you test it and don't like it, it can be kept aside.

Here is the number again: 234-80-30427182. I am waiting to hear your voice.

How is Luther? I hope he is doing well. When do you think will be the most probable time of our coming to the US? You only told me that you were born in Texas, but, I asked, 'Where excertly is your father from? Is he (and your mum) still there for you? How many are you in your nulear family? And, what is the name of Luther's Studio?

I will have to leave you now. The rains are coming back in full strength. Till I hear from you- on phone and mail.

With all my Love,

Iyke.





GWB and Brandie have been neglecting the lad, we have not replied to the last emails that he sent on July 27th, yet, I suppose I better get working on him again tomorrow, he send Brandie a short email asking if she was ok.

Subject: Is everything ok ?

My Love,

Is everything ok with you? I have been waiting to hear your voice of phone as you promised.Also you have not email me since my last email to you.Hope nothing wrong.

I wait to hear from you soon.

With all my Love,

Iyke.





Time to start working this lad again, I have 2 more projects for him to do, which involve acting and singing, Shiver has offered to provide me with the bus clip from the Eastwood film, I couldn't find it anywhere online to send to the lad, so, nice one, Shiver, cheers for doing that for me, that will be winging it's way to him as soon as Shiver rips it, no idea if he will do these or not, he will no doubt say he will do it once he is in the US, but it honestly needs to be done before he gets there, we don't want Luther losing this big contract all becasue of him, do we, Luther would be angry as hell :), anyway, Brandie sent him this email.

Hiya baby,

Oh baby, I'm sorry for not replying to your last email and not calling you, I was at a pop concert and singing along with the tunes, and I either caught a bug from someone, or strained my throat, because I got chronic laryngitis in my throat, it is very sore, I can hardly eat any food, each time I swallow, it hurts like hell, cold drinks and ice lollies are ok as they cool it down, apart from that, my throat feels like it is on fire, so I'm off work at the moment because I can't even answer the phone, Luther got a temp secretary in to cover for me until it gets better.

I really do still feel like shit, it's not as bad as it was a few days ago, so I think my throat is getting better, and hopefully I can call you in a few days, anyway, I'm staying in bed most of the time until I get over this, but I am so bored, I have my laptop for company, but even then, it gets boring after so long, I have no idea how people spend hour after hour on the internet, it does my head in.

How are you baby, are you still practising the YMCA song? Luther was visited by his doctor, he told him he can go back to work in about 3 weeks, Luther is delighted at that news, he's like me, he hates sitting around doing nothing, he just wants to get back in to the studio and make music again, the accident was a massive setback for him, and also for you, but we can all see light at the end of the tunnel now.

Luther has another very big music contract from a UK film company, and he wants you to do the theme song music for it to show your versatility! Have you heard of a singer from the UK called "Cliff Richard"? He has been around since the 1950's, he sings a lot of Christian music nowadays, he has had masses of number 1 hit songs since the 1950's, one of his best ever songs was called "Summer Holiday", there was a film made by the same title in which he starred and sung that song, they are making a remake of the film and Luther wants you to sing the theme song, these are the lyrics to the "Summer Holiday" song:

CLIFF RICHARD - SUMMER HOLIDAY LYRICS

We're all going on a summer holiday
No more working for a week or two
Fun and laughter on our summer holiday
No more worries for me or you
For a week or two

We're going where the sun shines brightly
We're going where the sea is blue
We've seen it in the movies
Now let's see if it's true

Everybody has a summer holiday
Doin' things they always wanted to
So we're going on a summer holiday
To make our dreams come true
For me and you

We're going where the sun shines brightly
We're going where the sea is blue
We've seen it in the movies
Now let's see if it's true

Everybody has a summer holiday
Doin' things they always wanted to
So we're going on a summer holiday
To make our dreams come true
For me and you
Hmm hmm, hmm hmm, hmm hmm

There is a Summer Holiday video for you to watch here, the clip is taken from the original film made in 1962:

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/id/2300464685

Luther wants you to sing that song, this is going to be a solo song for you only, just to showase your voice and talent, without any involvement from the choir singing with you, although you may ask whoever you want to help you with the music, but it has to be sung in the style of the original version it.

What Luther wants you to do is sing the Summer Holiday song whilst you are driving a bus, just like in the film clip, or pretending to drive a bus if you can't find one that works, I pointed out to him that there is a big yellow bus behind you in the YMCA video, he said that is ideal and would like you to use that, sit in the drivers seat and sing whilst sitting there and have it videoed, the only problems is that the bus is yellow, and it needs to be red like in the video clip from the film, so you will have to paint it all red before doing the filming.

Whilst we are on the subject of filming, remember how I told you about the US film producers who are planning to make the movie about you, well they want you to do a screen test before you come to the US, I suggested to them a film that you could copy the dialogue from, have you heard of the US actor called, Clint Eastwood? He's a very famous actor and has been in many top films over the years, one of his most famous parts was playing the police detective called, Harry Callaghan, in the movie called, "Dirty Harry", you must have seen that film, right?

Well, in the film, there is a school bus hijack scene near the end of the film, where some crazy guy hijacks the school bus full of children, and Harry Callaghan rescues them and kills the bad guy, and the school bus in the film scene is just like that big yellow bus in your YMCA video, so I suggested to the film producers that you could reenact that bus hijack scene for your screen test, the producers absolutely love that idea, so do Luther and I, you will play the part of the crazy guy, because he is the one doing all the dialogue on the bus, the producers are preparing a clip of the bus hijack scene and the text from the dialogue, as soon as they have done that, I will send it to you for you to rehearse and video it.

Didn't I tell you I would do all I could to help you in this business, my darling baby boy, and I am keeping my promise, I will make sure you get all the best breaks in the music and film business, because I love you so much and you will be my husband soon.

Before I completely forget, don't paint the bus red just yet, it will need to remain yellow until you have done the bus hijack scene, only then can it be painted red for the Summer Holiday song.

I can't wait until you get to the US baby, everyone will love you, I will try to call you in a few days, can't wait to hear your beautiful voice down the phone line, love you lots and lots.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Ok, lets get this show on the road, Shiver sent me the Dirty Harry clip last night, I viewed it quite a few times today so I could copy down the script from it, the video is 2 minutes and 50 seconds long, I expect it will take him a good deal longer to learn his script and get it filmed :).

Hiya baby, as promised, this is the dialogue from the Dirty Harry film with the bus hijack scene, that you have to learn for your part of the crazy guy, you will need someone else to play the part of the bus driver, try and get an ugly woman for that, like the woman in the film, it will make it more realistic, likewise, you will need people to play the part of the children.

CRAZY GUY ENTERS BUS TO HIJACK IT.

BUS DRIVER SAYS:
Where

CRAZY GUY:
Just get started, I'll tell you where.

BUS DRIVER CLOSES DOOR AND STARTS BUS.

CRAZY GUY SAYS TO KIDS ON BUS:
Alright, lets have some fun now, (then a slight pause), alright, who knows a song, huh, everybody knows a song, how about you (crazy guy points at school girl), you must know a beautiful one, huh, come on, sing for us.

SCHOOLGIRL SINGS:
Old macdonald had a farm (rest of kids join in now), all singing E-I-E-I-O.

CRAZY GUY SINGS ALONG WITH CHILDREN:
And on his farm he had some ducks (children sing as bus drives away), E-I-E-I-O, with a quack quack here, and a quack quack there, here a quack, there a quack, everywhere a quack quack, old macdonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.

SCENE CUTS BACK TO INSIDE BUS WITH CHILDREN AND CRAZY GUY SINGING:
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.

SCHOOLBOY:
(shouts out) Where are we going, this isn't the way we're supposed to be going.

CRAZY GUY:
We're going to the icecream factory to see how ice cream is being made, now anybody doesn't wanna go can get of right here, huh.

SCHOOLBOY:
(shouts out) I wanna got home to my mother.

CRAZY GUY:
What.

SCHOOLBOY SHOUTS CRIES OUT:
I wanna got home to my mother.

CRAZY GUY GETS ANGRY:
What, you wanna go home and see your what (slaps boy hard around face and shoys), SING, SING AGAIN, ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, WHAT'S A MATTER WITH YOU, CAN'T YOU SING, (crazy guy sings loudly and angrily) ROW ROW ROW YOUR BOAT, GENTLY, FOR GODS SAKE ARE YOU SICK, WHAT IS IT, ROW ROW, YOU GOTTA KNOW YOUR MOTHERS WILL DIE IF YOU DON'T START SINGING, I'M GONNA KILL ALL YOUR MOTHERS ALL OVER DRESDEN, (crazy guy sings loud and manically) ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT, GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM, MERRILLY, MERRILY, MERRILLY, MERRILY LIFE IS SUCH A DREAM.

CRAZY GUY APPROACHES DRIVER:
Right, now hit the right hand lane.

BUS DRIVER:
It's not right hitting children that way, you could hurt them.

CRAZY GUY:
(shouts) What, I don't need your advice, just drive the god damn bus.

CRAZY GUY LOOKS UP AND SEES DIRTH HARRY ON BRIDGE:
What the hell is he doing up there, shit, (bus swerves from car).

CRAZY GUY TO BUS DRIVER:
(shouts) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, PASS THE VW, PASS IT WILL YOU.

THE COP, DIRTY HARRY, JUMPS ON BUS ROOF FROM BRIDGE.

CRAZY GUY:
Fires 3 shots through roof of the bus, kids screaming and driver screaming, crazy guy hits driver hard on head with his gun, pushes her to the floor and drives the bus, drives erractically all over the road, pushes car off road, Dirty Harry still on bus roof, bus crashes through fence and hits a large pile of sand, Dirty Harry gets thrown from bus roof when it hits sand, kids are all screaming loudly, crazy guy tries to kick bus door open, doesn't open, goes to back doors, kicks it open, jumps out and runs away hobbling with bad leg.

Well baby, that is the short script you will have to learn for your film screen test, now then, the film producers want you to change some parts, obviously, children are not allowed to do this scene, so you will have to get some of your friends to play the parts of the children and the bus driver and have those people learn their lines from the script.

That yellow bus in your YMCA video, does it drive or is it completely broken? I can see the tyres are flat, so maybe it is broken down, but that's ok, because all you have to do to make it look like the bus is moving, is to get a lot of your friends to stand on either side of the bus while you are inside filming, and they can rock it back and forth while you are doing your acting, the rocking motion will make it look like it's moving!

As the bus wont be driving along, Dirty Harry wont be able to be thrown from the roof when it crashes, so in the version you make, the producers ask that the person playing, Dirty Harry, will have to get inside the bus at the end, instead of falling off the roof, and instead of you kicking the back door open to escape, Dirty Harry has to throw you out of the bus on to the ground, make sure he throws you of the top step of the bus to make it look good, because the film producers want to see how good you take a fall.

Baby, I have received the bus hijack video from the producers, I have uploaded it for you to download from here:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=888PNWO8

When you go to that webpage link, you will see at the top where it says "Please enter", next to that are 3 digits, type them in to the box and click the "download" button next to it.

That will take you to another page, where you will see "premium" and "free" download, on the free download you will see a timer counting down from 45 seconds, wait until that gets to zero, they it lets you click the "free download" button beneath the timer, a box will pop up, click "save" to save the film to your computer for easy viewing.

You will also receive an email from Megaupload with the same download link.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





I have just received an email from my lad concerning the Cliff Richard song and the Dirty Harry film clip I sent him, he like Cliff's music (sick bastard LOL) and will record and video that, but he says he can't download the video clip that Shiver ripped from the film for me Personally, I think he is bullshitting because it looks to difficult, he says he is not a good actor, and mentions about guns being illegal , I reckon I can talk him in to it, it would displease me and Luther if he does not do it, I will tell him to forget about the ymca rehearsals for now, surely they must know that backwards after all these months of rehearsing it.

Subject: PLEASE, DON'T BE SICK!

My Love,

Thank you for your email.

How are you feeling now? I hope you are better now...if not best! It might be the change of weather, that is, going back to the US from the UK. I am happy that you are getting better after all. I will be very happy to hear your voice by the time you've gotten your voice back. Just take your time and be okay. I am waiting!

I am also happy that Luther has been permitted to start working in the studio in no distant time. I was really troubled those days he was undergoing thoseoperations. I was not really myself. I thank God for hearing our prayers. He will surely return with greater strength. His coming back to the US also contributed to his quicker recovery. Home is always sweet.

I got the new assisgnment you gave me. I like the music. However, if finish the recording and the video, what address will I sent the package to? Although now, the shedule is very tight, I will have to continue with the YMCA practises at the same time with this new project. I will try my best in the production.

However, this film stuff sounds very hectic to me. I may have forgotten to tell you that I am not all that a good actor. It would have been better if at my arrival in the US, with your guidance and connections, I will then embark on this filming project. I even thought that it would have been my life story you spoke of that I would have started to rehearse my lines. Moreover, over here, it is a crime to be seen with a gun. To get one from the props is often very hard... the processes are always very hard and very expensive. I would like it more if I will concentrate on the song/singing aspect of the project for now.

When I have joined you, with your encouragements and connections I will then start the extensions. Moreover, I was not able to download the movie in the public computer I used after following your instructions. I hope you are not offended.

I will be very happy to hear that you are now very sound. I await your call. I still love you. Till I hear from you.

With all my Love,

Iyke.





Brandie has sent a reply to the lad, explaining why he has to do the Dirty Harry scene before he goes to the US, now all I have to do is register on a video sharing site so he can view it without downloading it, giving me work to do, he'll pay for that :).

Hiya baby,

Yes, my throat is getting a bit better now, it doesn't hurt as much as it did before, you might be right about the cause being going from the UK back to the US, I can't think of anything else it might have been, anyway, as I say, it appears to be getting better so hopefully, I can call you in a few days, I really long to hear your voice for the first time, instead of just hearing you sing.

I am so glad you like Cliff Richard singing that Summer Holiday song, it's one of my favourite tunes of all time, he has a great voice, I can't wait to hear you singing the song, when you send it and I get a copy, I will download it and play it on my MP3 player all the time just to feel close to you :)

Baby, what's the problem with downloading the Dirty Harry film clip? Was it a case of it taking to long to download with you being on a dial up connection in an internet cafe or something? I will try and upload it to a video sharing site so you can view it online without having to download it. This screen test really has to be done before you get to the US, this bus scene is nothing to do with your life story, it's just a screen test that producers have people to do to show their acting ability.

About the guns in the video, nobody is expecting you to fire a real gun, silly :), you can use a toy gun or make something that looks like a handgun out of wood, there must be lots of carvers over there who could make one, I have seen lots of intricate African carvings in shops, so making a gun from wood should be easy for them.

Another thing, as it wont be a real gun, you could light some firecrackers each time you pretend to shoot the gun, that will make it more realistic, but like I said, it is very important that you get the bus hijack scene done before coming to the US, there will be no time for you to do that here due to very tight schedules, plus, they want to see your natural talents, without any backup from people in the film industry, so really, having guidance and connections for doing the scene is not required, they like the acting in screen test to look natural so they can see the real you.

Don't forget, do your bus hijack scene first, then paint the bus red and do the Summer Holiday song, I have had a word with Luther, and he said you can record the video of the hijack scene and the Summer Holiday song on one video, which will have to be sent to the same studio that Luther was working in over the UK, as that studio will be doing the work on the music for the remake of the film, Luther said they will digitally rip the hijack scene from the video and send that to us here in the US, that way, you also save money by only having to send one parcel to the UK.

Luther also said, you have done enough rehearsing for the YMCA song, you should all know it off by heart after all this time, so he says to stop the practising for now, and concentrate on the Summer Holiday song and the bus hijack scene, Luther knows you can sing great, so he is also looking forward to seeing your acting skills, don't worry about not being a good actor, baby, because when you have done it and sent the video, the producers will be able to examint it to see where your acting strengths and weaknesses are, at that point, they will get a voice training coach and an acting guru in to work with you for when you are ready to start filming your life story, this is all going so well, I love you so much baby, you are my prince among men and I love you to bits.

I am going to try and get the video uploaded online now, I will send you the link for you to watch it online as sone as I have done it.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





I sent him another email after uploading the video to YouTube, at least he does not have the excuse of not being able to view it now.

Hiya baby,

I have opened an account on YouTube especially for you, and I uploaded the bus hijack video for you to watch, as you can see from the video, it's only a short scene for you and your friends to learn, it looks like a lot of dialogue when it is all written down, but when you are speaking it, it will seem a lot less, here is the direct link to the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2q4NPa56v0

Obviously, as I mentioned last time, that yellow bus you have, might not be able to drive because it's tyres are flat, so get all your friends on either side of the bus and rock it from side to side to make it look like it's driving along, something else I just thought of, if you can't get any fire crackers to make the gunshot sound, get a friend to bang a hammer on some metal to make a loud gunshot type noise, if that's easier for you to do, but a firecracker would be so much more effective for the scene, it will also show ingenuity on your part, producers like a man who thinks for himself!

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Eliza Doolittle from 419eater, did me a nice favour, she phoned Iyke, and pretended to be, Brandie, the call is about 17 minutes long, and Iyke is very happy hear from Brandie at last, he even sings a bit of Cliff Richards, Summer Holiday song down the phone to her :), you can listen to the call on the link below:

Brandie Phones Iyke




The lad mails GWB, he has some questions about the producer, due to his relative coming back from the US, and telling him things, the choir are getting on edge, and the ones who dropped out are laughing at him, saying he is being used, never, :lol:, I'm sure GWB can soothe him with his words :wink:, with a bit of luck, he should have the new videos done in the next week, shortyly after that, it will be time for GWB to get a scam dossier on his desk, guess who it will be about BWAHAHAHA.

Subject: QUITE A LONG TIME...

Your Excellency,

It has being a long time since I heard from you. I know you have been very much occupied with work. I just want to send this mail to you so that I will be be oppurtuned to read from you again.

I have been exchanging mails with Brandie. She even gave me a telephone call the other day. However, Brandie brougth up another music recording and a film that I will have to screen act. This is really telling on me. I had thought by now we would be having the finishing touches on the YMCA song in the US. Moreso, the choir members( though not really voicing it out) are getting very much worried. Even some menbers that I sent out of the choir are laughing at us saying that we are just being used. I do not know actually what to do as of now. I have told Brandie that I am not a good actor, but, she insisted that I will have to do the film stuff. And that the recording is another contract won by Luther in the UK.

However, we are still rehearsing and getting ready. But, some members are leaving out of impatience. I really want to hear from you. Your words are always very soothing to me.

Futhermore, a relation of mine came back from the the US and came looking for me when he was told that I was rehearsing in preparation to go to the US. When he asked after what I was doing I gave him a briefing on the project. He said that DR DRE is the producer of 50cent and Eminem; that, he knows one LUTHER VANDROSS who is a noted R&B singer. At this I was very confused. I said anyway, I will have to tell you first before I will know the next thing to do. I really have to hear from you... it has been so long I heard from.

May the good Lord continue to give us patience to remain steadfast till the end.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





GWB sent the lad a reply, hopefully, the presidents words this will soothe him and his choir :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

Sorry for not being in contact with you for some time, I have been very busy since I last emailed you, I had to take things slowly for a while after my operation, and because of that, my work piled up, I have almost cleared the backlog now.

Another reason I didn't email you, is that Brandie sent me an email saying you were doing some other work concerning a Cliff Richard song, and something about a hijack scene on a bus, I knew you would be busy doing those things to the best of your ability, so I thought it best to let you get on with things until you contacted me again, as you now have.

On the subject of the producer, I think that your relation, who has just gone back to Nigeria after visiting my counrty, has perhaps got a bit mixed up, although I am in no way an expert on things like rap singers, being the age I am and where I am from, I prefer country and western music, but I do know from conversations with, Luther, that he has worked with 50Cent and countless other big artists.

Just out of interest, where in the US did your relation visit, were they here on holiday, or do they work here?

Your relation seems to be under the impression that an artist will use only one producer, such as the one you named, called Dr Dre. From conversations I have had with Luther, it appears that artists collaborate with many different producers in their careers, they are not tied to any particular producer, if an artiste wants to work with a particular producer, the artist will approach them, so whilst 50Cent will have collaborated with Dr Dre, he has also worked with Luther and other producers.

Your relation mentions the name Luther Vandross, well, that person was a world famous singer, even I have some Luther Vandross albums, I like his music, sadly, Luther Vandross died in 2005, he was a great talent and is sadly missed, obviously he is not the same person as Luther, the producer, Luther does not sing, he only does producing for artists.

I am sorry to hear that your choir members are worried, please tell them that their time will be coming soon, and as for the choir members who you dropped from the project, who are now laughing at you, the best medicine is to laugh back at them, they are simply jealous of all that you and the choir have achieved so far, greater things are ahead for you all, you will all be bringing your dreams to fruition, whilst those laughing at you, will be wallowing in their own self pity when you all make something of yourselves, they will be asking themselves the question, why did I cause trouble for Iyke and drop from the project, you will then be the one laughing at them, some people have the get up and go, to get things done, you Iyke, are one of those people, you are a leader among men, and your choir members are truly exceptional people.

You know what, Iyke, when I was a younger man just starting out in politics, and I told people that I would one day be the President of the United States of America, people used to laugh at me, saying I had ideas above my station and would never make it that high in politics, I used to laugh back at them, but look at me now, there is an old saying, "he who laughs last, laughs best", which means, "the feeling of satisfaction that occurs when others realize that you have won or succeeded after thinking that they had defeated you, or that you had failed", I had the last laugh, and I laughed the best, and Iyke, so shall you!

For now, the best advice I could give you, is to follow through with the new projects given to you by Luther, through Brandie, it is all for your enrichment and a chance to show your true metal, I am positive you will make a great production of the Cliff Richard song and the hijack on a bus you are doing.

It's great thay you and Brandie are talking on the phone, how are you two getting on these days? You sure have a fine woman there, Iyke, I think you will make a lovely couple when you get married, I sure hope I get an invitation to your wedding, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Brandie sent laddie an an email, asking for an update on the videos, and saying how much she loves him, awwwwww LOL :).

Hiya baby,

It was so nice being able to talk with you on the phone the other day, you sounded so happy, and I was happy too, and when you sung Summer Holiday to me, I was like, oh my God, you have the voice of an angel, really baby, you sing like you are an angel sent down to earth, I bet you even have angel wings under your shirt :), you better not go near KFC when you get to he US, they might want to deep fry your wings in a spicy coating LOL :)

Baby, Luther and the film producer both want an update, they asked how far you have got with videoing the bus hijack scene and the Summer Holiday song? I guess you must have nearly finished videoing both of those by now, don't forget, you have to record both videos on the same video cassette, and record the Summer Holiday song on to a CD for sending over to the UK studio, like you did last time. They both want to know the date when you expect to be sending the videos and CD, and are hoping it will be this coming week that you will send them?

Luther is getting better and better all the time, he is up and about, and has gone on a short holiday to his beach house in Bermuda before he returns to work, he told me that you will be using the recording studio inside his New York mansion, you have got to see his mansion to believe it, it has tennis courts, 2 massive indoor simming pools, one is in the shape of a dollar sign, and the other is round like a record, with a round bar/diner in the middle where the hole in a record is, you can swin to the middle and have a meal and drinks there, it is so cool, you will love it, he has saunas and jacuzzis, pool tables, a full size indoor cinema screen and a full size bowling alley, honestly, he has it all darling, and when we get married and buy our house in Texas, I want all of the things that Luther has, well not all, but some of them, we can do without the pool table, but everything else I want.

You make me so happy, I can't get your voice out of my head, the way you talk and the way you sing, it just makes me melt, if I was made of chocolate, I would be dripping all down your trousers and over your shoes when you sing to me, that's how much you make me melt, I love you so much, I am the luckiest girl in the world to have found such a good man like you, you are my angel for ever.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





My lad has replied to Brandie, before I sent my last email to him, I Googled KFC in his country, and there were a couple of mentions of it, so I thought he would known what I was talking about when I said to him:

when you sung Summer Holiday to me, I was like, oh my God, you have the voice of an angel, really baby, you sing like you are an angel sent down to earth, I bet you even have angel wings under your shirt :), you better not go near KFC when you get to the US, they might want to deep fry your wings in a spicy coating LOL :)

From the content of the last paragraph of his email, he obviously doesn't know what KFC is, I love the way he has worded his last paragraph :)

Subject: SORRY FOR THE DELAY.

My Love,

I am sorry for the delay in replying this mail and in the project at hand. There were some mix up that required my attention urgently. Firstly, I had to sort out some family problems resulting from the health of my Dad. My younger ones were accussing me of neglecting my Dad for some time now, thereby distracting me. I had to call up a family meeting to see to the issue. Secondly, all these while, I have been, with the help of some friends, spending far more than my poor, or more or less no, income. Presently, things roughned up a lot. However, I will see to it and continue with the project. As per my family distractions, I will also see to that. You know we Africans are very much attached to each other. If one does not behave according to the norms of the family, all the others in the family would make things very difficult for the 'erring' one.

Consequently, I will be delivering the song and the filmings by the ending of next week. I will have to run around to put finishing touches to the plans already on ground. To be candid with you, it has not been easy this time around. But, I know with the help of God and the assistance of my friends ( and YOU, my Love), I will deliver wonderfully. Just give me the coming week to put my ass in order and produce the best I know all will fall in love with. I will have to send you another mail to confirm the excert date I will be sending the packages accross. But, however, I would like the address where I will be sending the package in the UK sent accross. Will I be using Luther's name still? He is no more in the UK. Whose name should I use?

See, Love, your discriptions of the mansion of Luther is very terrific. This will make me work even more harder so that I would not be depending on anyone esle financially. I think I have had my share of suffering all these years. I think we can squeeze a bit more suffering in :) By God's special grace, we shall survive. It is just a matter of time.

Another thing, Please, I would want you to try your very best to find out when actually we would be coming to the US. I asked this question when you gave me that ever-green-wonderful-romantic call. You told me then that it's being kept a secret to you. But, I would like it very much if I am given a specific time... it will really help in putiing a lot of things in order. A time frame will always do wonders to all over here. This is very important to me... Plzzzzzzzzz.....

My Love, what is KFC???! You better tell me so that I will start avoiding them even from Nigeria here. Please stop laughing... I am serious! ... 'spicy coating' you wrote... Well, I know I might be an angel, but you are the angel of my life. And I will like you to remain that for life. Till I hear from you. Why not give me another 'happy-pill' call! I really waited for the call you promised. I love you more than you do.

With all my Love,

Iyke.





Brandie sent laddy an email confirming where to send the new videos to.

Hiya baby,

I am so sorry to hear your father was ill, hope he feels better now, don't you listen to the younger ones, I know you would never neglect your father, I hope you put them in their places for saying things like that to you.

Baby, I couldn't reply to your last email before now, I have just got back after several days away and I didn't take my laptop with me, a friend of mine got married at the weekend, it was such a nice wedding, and my friend looked beautiful in her wedding dress, I hope I look half as good as she did, when we get married, just think, it will be our turn to walk up the aisle very soon, I can't wait fr the day that I say, I DO, when you ask me to be your lawful wedded wife :)

I'm happy to hear the videos will be finished this week, you must have really gotten your ass in gear to get those completed, I will tell Luther and the producer that they will be sent to the UK soon, by the way, this is to confirm the address of the studio in the UK where you are sending the videos and CD, it's the same address as last time, the producer there is called, Bri@n B@x3nd@le, he is the one doing the remake of the Summer Holiday film, he will digitally remaster the bus hijack video and send it digitally to the US, here is the address to send the items to:

(address snipped)

Baby, I will give you another happy pill call real soon :), let me get a few things in order here, it's been busy while I was away and some urgent things need seeing to, as soon as I get done with those, I will call you again, I just love hearing your voice, I hope you will sing the whole Summer Holiday song to me next time I call? I love it and I love you!

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Laddy sent a reply to Brandie today, now says the videos will be sent on or before the 22nd of this month, I think the bit where he says "I just want to play safe so that I will have a very soft landing", might refer to where he gets thrown off the bus in the hijack scene LOL :), he says he also had to borrow money for the mounting costs of the projects and is finding it difficult :), I think he could do with another call from Eliza to keep him happy, he might sing the whole Summer Holiday song to her on the phone like I asked him to :).

Subject: IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY!

My Love,

It has not been easy all these while over here. Things became so jam-packed and coupled with the financial constraints, I was just like a jelly fish drawn out of water to land. However, I know I will survive. I will surely do the projects to the best of my ability. The only thing is that, as things stand now, I will not be able to deliver as of the time I said earlier that I would. It will have to be by next week Friday-- the 22nd of september-- or by God's specail grace, very much earlier than that. I just want to play safe so that I will have a very soft landing. If it should be ready before that date, I will send a mail across to inform you of the change of delivery so that all will have to look out for their respective videos. I hope this will not make anyone uncomfortable.

So, you went for a wedding? I know Ladies like weddings a lot, not to talk of a friend's wedding! Anyhow, that is very good. That will give you an insight to how to prepare our own wedding. However, there was a favour I asked of you in the last mail I sent to you. I really wanted to know the time frame for our coming to the US. You didn't mention it in your reply. My Love this is very important to me and all around me here. It is making things extra tricky for me and all involved in this project over here.

Here in Nigeria, there is this air of untrust that is blowing very strongly. The stretched waiting of Luther's recovery and other things involved in this production has made a lot of the members of the choir to have lukewarm attitude to the whole affiar. Some that were so silly that I sent away from the outfit are even laughing/mocking me that I just gathered people together discieving them that they are going to America. I tell you, this is making things very hard for me. As it stands now, I will have to rearrange the outfit for the third time. So, please My Love, I will be very happy if you can somehow find out the excert time we will be coming over so that preparations will be more serious and definite. It is very important for me. I WANT TO BE CLOSE TO YOU... THE DISTANCE IS KILLING!!!

I am waiting ansciously for your happy -pill call. Let me run along with the job at hand... there are lots of things to be done. Till I hear from you... hope sooner than later.

With all my Love,

Iyke.





He also mailed GWB today, asking if he could give a date when they are going to the US, and said some more choir members have left, but he read out my last email to the others still in, where I gave a lot of encouragement, and they understood what I said, I like his last paragraph about this being a dream come true and pinching himself :).

Subject: IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY ALL THESE WHILE.

Your Excellency,

Thank you very much for your mail.

I hope you are really getting on well from the excellent recovery of the surgery you underwent. I aslo hope the work is no more pilled up. To God be the glory. Yesterday was 9/11! I hope it was well marked. May the souls of all that lost their lives on that fateful day in 2001 rest in perfect peace. By God's special grace, these terrorist will come to bow either by force or by peace. No matter how, they will surely be subdued.

I would have replied your mail earlier than now but, things are just jam-packed. I have been battlling with the projects at hand now. The most worry is the financial contraints I am experiencing as of the moment. However, I will still survive this as usual. Thanks to some of my friends in need that are really friends indeed! I am almost through with the project. I will have to use this week and early next week to tie all the loose ends and then send the finished product across.

Sir, I will have to bring to your notice again this issue of the choir members becoming indignant, making things somehow difficult for me. I guess, most certainly, that the actaull cause of their state of mind is that no one knows the excert date of our coming to the US. I know that the accident of Luther really made things to drag a lot, but, over here, the air of mistrust is blowing very strongly( that, if one should greet another 'goodmorning!', one would be forced to look at their wrist watch to know the time before responding to the greeting!) A lot of things have happened over here that at the slightest event, all will have to take unneccassary 'cover' when there is no cause for alarm. Sir, what I want to say in essence is that, can there be a time frame for us so that we will be more motivated and be more ready for the travel. If they should know the time frame, I think all will have to sit up and doing. As it stands now, I will have to send one or two people away again for their lack of morals and gross indicipline. So, Sir, I will be very grateful, and things made more easier for me, if I am told the time frame we are expected in the US. However, I sent the message you gave them in your last mail. Those that are patient and serious got it.

Well, I have left every thing in the hands of God. I pray everyday for the success of my forthcoming wedding with Brandie. I also ask God to grant us the grace to know each other better; live together in peace; have wonderful offsprings and to grow into well prosperous old age. I know that initially, the learning stage, it may not be all that easy but, with time we will have to get used to each other and from there carry on. I will just have to work hard so that I will be able to look after her the much I can. [b]As for the wedding, you will be there surely! And come to think of it.... who am I to have you as a guest on my wedding day. What a dream come true! Can this be really me... pinch! I am alive! Untill all these come to pass. My God!!! May this not be a day dream![/b]

May God continue to give you the strength of mind and body to be sound all the time to rule GOD' OWN COUNTRY! Untill I hear from you. God bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





GWB sent the lad a reply, giving him the date when he is going to the US, but he has to keep it a secret, I also asked him to make a simple banner for a Voklswagen forum I joined recently, they are opening a new forum as the old one is very slow, and as the lad is from a place called Volkswagen, I thought it was very apt and might give the forum members a giggle :), when he sees the request for a banner he will probably groan, then he will see the date I gave him, and he will be happy again and happy to do the banner ;).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I am feeling pretty good now after recovering from my operation, and I am pretty much back to normal now. I have also caught up with the backlog of work I had to do as a result of the operation, I am fully back on track.

Thank you for your kinds words concerning 9/11, it was a terrible day for our nation, the people who perished will never be forgotten, they will remain forever in our hearts and minds.

Sorry to hear you are struggling somewhat with the latest projects you are doing, but I know a man of your fortitude will get the job done, as you always do, to the best of your abilities, think of it as a learning curve, what you are learning now, can only benefit you in the future.

Iyke, on the subject of projects, something just occured to me, you are from a place called Volkswagen, well I don't know if you are aware, but I am one of the directors of the World Volkswagen Owners Club, I own 4 Volkswagens, one is a VW T4 van, then 2 older VW Beetle's and a new VW T5 van, the T4 van is my personal favourite.

The Volkswagen Owners Club are about to launch a new worldwide forum and we need a VW banner to be made, I mentioned to people that you are from Volkswagen in Nigeria, and I told them you would be happy to make a banner for me, what I would like you to do is this, go the place where the old Volkswagen factory was based in Volkswagen, Nigeria, and take a photo of yourself and some friends holding up a long banner that you have made, there is no need to make a banner like the one you made for the Pittsburgh Steelers, and no need for you to send it by courier this time, for this banner, you will need a long piece of white card or material, measuring about 10 feet long by 5 feet high, on the card or material, use a lettering stencil and write the following text on it, making sure that the text is large and centred on the banner:

Welcome To The New VW T4 Forum
The VW T4, It's So Much Better Than A Ford Transit
Transits Are Driven By Mackerels, Never Drive A Transit

I have also attached a T4 image to this email, please paint a copy of the image on the 4 corners of the banner, and copy the blue colour from the image and use it as the colur for the text on the banner. As I say, I only require a photo of the banner being help up at the location of the old Volkswagen factory, thank you for your help in this matter.

I'm sorry to hear that there is some fall out among the choir members again, some people seem to have no patience at all, it is very sad that they are going to miss out on their big chance in the music business, very sad indeed, pleas elet me have the updated list of choir members as soon as you have collated them.

I appreciate that things were difficult due to Luther having his accident and operation, which caused unexpected delays, I spoke to Luther yesterday concerning your request for a time frame, he told me that he hadn't even told Brandie any dates yet, as he is keeping it as a surprise for her, but he did tell me that he wants you in the US on October 4th, but under no circumstances are you to tell Brandie that date, it is a secret and you will ruin the surprise if you tell her when you will be arriving in the US, so keep it under your hat, I have told you this in the strictest confidence!

I think that pretty much covers everything for now, please try and get the Volkswagen banner photo done as as quickly as possible, thank you once again for your hard work and dedication.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





The lad replies to GWB, I knew giving him a date would cheer him up, and make it more likely he would do the banner, it's a result, the VW factory is right in front of his house, and he will make the banner straight away :), it would be nice if the factory still has a VW sign on it somewhere, to get that as the backdrop for the photo, he's hoping his letter of invitation from me will be coming soon, well I am actually supposed to be sorting out all their visas an presidential passes :)

Subject: WELCOME BACK ON TRACK!!!

Your Excellency,

Thank you very much for your wonderful mail.

I am very happy to recieve your mail. The content of the mail is a wonderful pill for happiness. Firstly, I am very happy to hear that you are now very much back to normal, gotten on with work and feeling pretty good. That is a very wonderful news. Welcome back on tack!!!

I will kick off with this banner project immediately, although I have not finished the job I have at hand. The old VW factory is right there in front of my house. It is just a pity that such a wonderful factory has been abandoned by the government and the Volkswagen company since the Billonaire owner, M K O Abiola, died in detention during the time of 'Dictator'-General Sani Abacha. Incidentally, both Abiola and Abacha (the military dictator) died within almost the same month. Well, they have gone. Life continues for those that are alive. I will make the banner as you instructed and take the pictures, scan them and send them across to you.

I sometimes do not know why some people can never have patience. Yes, some members became so unruly and decided to make trouble for themsevles. Well, they have to go. I will have to make a way or two to fill their spaces by some people whom I know that can learn faster and can also be able to have a level head. I will send in the comprehensive list as soon as possible.

Futhermore, when Brandie called, she actually mentioned that she does not know the time of our coming; that Luther is keeping it a secret and a surprise for her. I will have to keep that to my self, but just use it to work over here. However, Sir, I hope the invitation letter will follow very soon. I hope I am on the right track.

May the good Lord continue to look after each and every one of us. The Lord will continue to bless you. Remain blessed. Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





I sent the lad an email asking about the VW factory, and told him I would get the visas etc in order soon.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

I am happy to hear that you will be making the VW banner immediately, I am also interested to know if the old VW factory still has the words VW or Volkswagen on the factory building, or the VW logo? If the building has any of those words or logo on it, please use that as the backdrop for the photo of you holding the banner, that would be a very nice touch to see the VW factory still displaying it's great name in the photo.

With regards to to letters of invitation and visas, as promised, I will be taking care of that and issuing presidential passes to all concerned, this will make for ease of access to the US through customs, as soon as I have the updated list of people travelling, I can set the wheels in motion.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Bastard, my lad is having problems, he can't use the yellow bus that is behind them in the Y.M.C.A video, the bloke who owns it, is dismantling it, according to the lad, he was going to use a government bus but they charge too much to hire it, now he wants to use a smaller readily available red bus, I suppose I will have to go with that as I want the damn videos sent this week.

Subject: VERY URGENT!!!

My Love,

I have been waiting for your mail all these while. I hope all is well.

There has been this persisting problem I am encountering. The owner of the bus at the background of the YMCA video has been creating huddles for me. Firstly, he said that he wanted to dismantle the bus (Actually he has gone ahead to dismantle one of the buses). I pleaded with him to grant me the permission to use the rermaining one. He accepted after which he travelled. When I eventually wanted to use the bus it happened that he travelled to London, and his wife wouldn't give me access to the bus. I had been waiting and hoping for the man to come back but it seems he would be coming back at a later date. I went ahead to look for other alternatives. The red bus that would have been very suitable for this, used by the state government, was just beyond my reach. They told me to pay 25,000 Naira per 30 minutes equivalent to $200 dollars. That is just very much beyond my reach.

However, there is only one option left. There are smaller red buses that are very much available. So, my main purpose of writing is to ask if I can use a smaller bus. I will still make it to look real and wonderful. But, I wouldn't want to do that without first of all obtaining permission to go ahead. CAN I GO AHEAD WITH THIS OPTION?

The music is already ready... wonderfully packed. You will just wait to hear it... cool and sweet. I tried my best. The only thing remaining is the making of the musical video. Since all the projects are surposed to be packed into one, your quickest reply would make things very easy for me.

My Love, do not keep me waiting. I am waiting very eagerly to hear from you. I hope you are doing wonderfully. I miss your mails and calls. Till I hear from you. Please do not wait to reply so that I will have to package everything and send them across as soon as possible.

With all my Love,

Iyke





Brandie sent him a reply.

Hiya baby,

Oh damn it, that is so annoying about the bus, please tell me exactly what videos you have done so far, because in your email, you said the following, "The only thing remaining is the making of the musical video".

To me, that is confirming that you have already recorded the bus hijack scene on the yellow bus, and you recorded the Summer Holiday song, so it is only the Summer Holiday video on the red bus that you have to make now, right?

If that is correct, please go ahead and use any red bus for the Summer Holiday video, please get back to me as soon as you read this email!

I will try and phone you tomorrow darling, I have been so busy.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Yeehaaaaaaa, the lad sent the videos today, I have a horrible feeling that the hijack scene video is going to be total crap, but who cares, he's done his time and money again, that's the main thing, the Summer Holiday song should be good, roll on Thursaday or Friday :).

Subject: IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.

My Love,

All these while I have tried my best to make things work a lot faster but to no avail. However, I have succeeded in doing all that I am required to do. I tried my best to make sure that all ought to be ready, maybe late, but, at the same time. So, here they are.When you go through the videos( both the musical and the film) you will find out that the denial of the bus by the wife of the owner of the bus you saw in the first YMCA video really wanted to devastate me. Well, I thank God for his graces and strength all thses while.

I posted the package to UK today. By, God's grace Mr. Brian Baxendale will have the package on thursday, latest friday morning.The FedEx Air Way Bill tracking number is xxxx xxxx xxxx; Form ID number is xxx. By God's special grace it will surely arrive on time. I hope I am not so late with this project.

I was expecting to hear from you. Are you still very busy? I would have loved it so much if I hear from you agian in no distant future.

The package contians the music CD and the VHS video of the music and Dirty Harry film hijack. I followed your instructions. I know you will like the music but, I'm not sure if you would like the film. I told you before hand that I am not a good actor. Anyhow, I tried the much I could. If I am taught, I will surely learn.

My Love, I asked you to find out the time frame of when we would have to hold each other, touch each other and do a lot of things together, but, up till now you do not want to let me know. I really want to be with you. I really want to know how you are preparing for my uniting with my 'life-line'. I really want to know what is happening over there. I miss everything about you. I hope to here from you sooner than later. I love you.

Till I hear from you.

With all my Love,

Iyke

He attached this photo of himself sitting in a car:





He also mailed GWB with the Volkswagen banner, this cracked me up :), damn, you gotta watch out for those hawk like faced blood thirsty fellows who derive joy in doublling bloody civilians, and using their fellow human beings as a punching bag :), the photos he sent are small and crap, he will have to take some larger high definition ones, at least he made the banner from cloth, I only asked for card, idiot, oh well, it's his money LOL.

Subject: IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY.

Your Excellency,

I know I would have delivered your assisgnment and woud have also sent you a mail before now. It has not been easy. I never know that the Volkswagen factory is been guided by soldiers. I nearly feel a prey to those 'hawk-like-faced blood-thirsty fellows who derive joy in doublling 'bloody-civilians' and using their fellow human beings as a punching bag. I never knew they were there! What saved me was my adherence to protocols. I wanted to see if there was any one who could give me the permission to take the photos without unneccessary emberassment. I walked into them! Their questions were like slaps on my face. To cut the story short, it took longer days before I was given the go ahead to take the photos but outside the main premesis of the factory.

I made my choice of the places where I will get the logos and the writing on the factory roofs. The pictures were taken in a haste so that they would not read what is written on the banner... That would have led to other types of questions. Anyhow, the attached pictures were the best short I could get.

Sir, I have also finished the project that Luther gave me thruogh Brandie. I sent the package across today to London. It was not easy at all this time around. Well, I know that I will surely survive the onslought.

I will send over the comprhensive list of the members of the choir travelling to the US later in the week. I will have to sit down and scrutinize all again so that I would not regret putting a fellow that will make things hard for me and other members of the choir.

It is all to God and to you that I give great thanks. The good Lord will give and grant you your heart's desire both in this life and in your generations to come. Amen.

Till I hear from you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.


The Volkswagen banner photos outside Volkswagen, Nigeria:





Ok, slap administered, GWB sent the Lad a reply, hopefully he will get back to me soon with some better photos, he had better, I'm the president, damnit LOL :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email.

To be honest with you, I am very disappointed with the photos you sent, the banner might look great, but I can't really tell, because the photos are so small, the writing on the banner is barely legible to the human eye, to be able to view the writing properly, I would need to have the vision of a very large owl that was wearing binoculars, and of course it would need to be an owl that could read English, so the only option is for you to retake the photos, they need to be large, high definition images, and please make sure the banner is held tighly so that letters are not covered in the folds of the material.

I can't believe you went to all the extra trouble of making a cloth banner, when I asked you to make one made from card, only for you to send me such small photos of the finished product, it seems totally pointless to do that, I have no idea what you were thinking by doing that, the mind boggles.

There is no way I can even show those photos to the Volkswagen Owners Club, it would cause me extreme embarrassment for me to do so, all other photos we have been getting from people around the world, have been large and clear photos, you have let me down badly on this occasion, Iyke, I expected a lot better from you considering the previous tasks you have accomplished, although there is still time for you to redeem yourself, please retake the photos again as soon as possible, one other thing, in the photo where it says "Volkswagen Nigeria" on the side of the building, there is a tree obscuring the writing, could you chop the tree down to prevent that from happening?

I appreciate you saying their are soldiers guarding the factory, but surely, they wont mind you cutting a single tree down, failing that, I'm sure that under cover of darkness, you and your friends could see to it that the tree had a little accident, before you vanished in to the night, there are ways and means my friend, ways and means!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Just for a few moments, I was getting anxious, because nothing was on the tracking page for over 24 hours, but finally, the shipment shows as picked up in Lagos, it's due to arrive on Friday, September 28th, before 6:00PM :).





Brandie replied to the lad, I let him know about some of the furniture I ordered in his name, and belittled him again at the end :).

Hiya baby,

Thanks for sending me the tracking number, I have passed that over to the people in the UK so that they will know when to expect the package.

I'm really sorry you found things difficult with the videos, you can only do them to the best of your ability, just look at it as if your are gaining some valuable experience from it, what bus did you use in the end, you didn't tell me in your email?

Baby, Luther wont tell me anything about when you are coming to the US, I keep asking him what the exact date, he keeps saying it's a secret, it's like trying to get blood out of a stone, I wish I could give you a date, but I can't, I'm so sorry, surely it can't be that far off now, we will soon be together, I can't wait to jump on you and get you in to bed, you wont know what has hit you, our love making will be like a train wreck, you will be pumping away like the wheels on Casey Jones train, and I will be tooting my whistle loudly, steam will be rising from my head in the heat of passion, you will be hot like the locomotive bolier, keep it stoked up baby and keep those pistons turning, yeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaa :)

Honey, I tried to call you last week when I said I would, I tried calling again at the weekend, and again today, I keep getting a voice saying something about a network connection problem, is the telecom company in Nigeria bad at times? Because I can't get through at the moment, I will try again in a day or two and it might be a better connection then, I'm really looking forward to chatting on the phone, because I want you to sing the whole Summer Holiday song to me, can't wait to see the new videos, you are my superstar.

Guess what, I have found us a home to buy, it's a massive house in Texas, it is so cool, and guess what, it only costs $5 million dollars, now how cool is that! I can't wait to start spending your money on having big parties, then there is the buying of furniture and other things for our new home, infact, I have placed advance orders for over $3 million dollars worth of furniture, it's all antique stuff, it might be expsnsive, but it looks so gorgeous, one of the things I already ordered for us is a big bed, it has lovely wooden carvings on it, I will attach a photo of it in the showroom for you to see, the bed cost $280,000 and it is on order, I ordered it in your name, so you will have to pay for it as soon as you get your first paycheck, don't worry baby, you can afford it all, you deserve the best things that money can buy, I have ordered the new bath and sinks, the ones with the solid gold taps, that will cost you another $340,000 for those.

Please hurry up and come to the US, I love you so much and so want to be with you, hurry, hurry, hurry.

Before I forget, I had another word with the plastic surgeon, he said you can go in for the surgery to have your tiny pathetic excuse for a penis made larger, you can do that a few days after you get here, isn't that great news, no longer will you have to feel ashamed of that tiny thing you have, and you will no longer look like a small boy, I will make you a man, well, the surgeon will LOL :)

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

This is the expensive bed :):





The video shipment has now been delivered to Manchester :).





Ok, the videos and CD were safely delivered, today, Shiver Metimers converted and uploaded the CD to MP3 format, you can listen to Iyke's version of Cliff Richards, Summer Holiday, on this link:

Summer Holiday, Sung By Iyke Mbaegbu (note, when you open this link, you sometimes have to refresh the page before the media player box starts)

The video of the bus hijack scene and the Summer Holiday song being sung on a bus, can now be viewed on YouTube, see link below, both videos have been merged on the same video link, part one is the song, which he chose to sing in a red minibus, idiot scammer GRRRRRRR, part 2 is the hijack scene, I didn't reckon much to the Summer Holiday video, apart from seeing some of the Lagos street life, which was good to see that, but he really nailed the hijack scene, and had a new schoolbus just like the one in the film :) excellent bwahahaha :), just to refresh your memories, this is the original scene from the film that I sent to him, along with the original dialogue written down for him to memorise for the scene

The Real Dirty Harry Bus Hijack Scene

This is the scammers version of the hijack scene that he filmed, classic LOL, first part of the video is the Summer Holiday Song, the second part after that is the hijack scene:

VIDEOS: Summer Holiday - Dirty Harry Bus Hijack Scene




Brandie mails the lad, saying the Summer Holiday video was crap, told him to do it again, or he isn't coming to the US LOL :).

Hiya baby,

What the fuck have you done, Luther and the film producer in the UK are going nuts over the video you sent, I have now seen both videos, and the first thing I thought to myself when watching them was, oh my fucking god, that looks horrible, I liked the bus hijack scene, that was very good, although that was the least important of the 2 videos you made, you made the Summer Holiday song video in a small transit van, that was the really important video, are you crazy sending things like that to producers?

Honestly sweetheart, the producer went ape shit when he saw it, Luther is fuming about it as well, he says you have made him look very stupid after he told them how great you are, why oh why did you use a small transit van? And not only that, whoever videoed it was useless, most of the time the camera was not even on you, they were filming the friggin dashboard, for crying out loud, it was a terrible video, it's a good job you were not actually driving the van in most of the video, because you might have had a ghastly accident on that expressway.

If you had any sense, you would have used the yellow bus that you used in the hijack scene, you could have quickly painted that with red powder paint, sung the song, recorded it and then washed the red paint of, powder paints dissolve in water, that's what you should have done, you have let everyone down this time, the producer is demanding that you do the Summer Holiday song again properly, Luther told me to tell you that you had better do it properly or you can forget about coming to the US, he said if you let him down again, you can stay the hell in Nigeria, so you have to do it again baby, please, please, please do it again, or you might not be allowed to come here, and I love you with all my heart and want to be with you, I have been trying to call you many more times, but all I get is the same damn message saying I can't get through, are telephones always like this in Nigeria? This is turning in to a nightmare, please get things sorted as quickly as possible.

Please get back to me as soon as possible, you have not replied to my last email yet, so read that one first, I love you so much darling.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





The lad replies to Brandie saying he will do his best to retake the video with a better bus :).

Subject: I INFORMED YOU!

My Love,

Truely, to be candid, my spirit is very low as I read your mail. I told you in a previous mail of the difficulty I was having then of getting a bus. You told me that I should use any bus that comes in handy. In Nigeria here, we call all these transit vans buses. I didn't tell you that what I can lay my hands on was a transit van, though. Well, there is nothing I can do now other than to try again. I will have to look around to see if I can accomplish this project as you want it. At least Luther and the producer liked the music! I will see what I can do. My only problem now is financial constrainst. But, I will try to do something as soon as possible.

However, I went through a lot of difficulties before I was granted the permission to use that bus for the film. I will have yo go back to them now to plead if they would agree/allow me to paint the bus with any colour... even with the paint that could be washed away after making use of the bus... I will try! If they should refuse... I will try first. For now, I will concentrate and do this to the best of my knowlegde so that everybody, especially you, will be happy.

God! I thought I am through with this project. Anyway, I will make you happy. The telephone companies in this country called Nigeria are most times in disarray. They will so frustrate their customers that you will regrate even having a phone in the first place. The Network is very bad. But, it seems to be getting better by today. If you try again you might get through... I recieved a call from a relation from outside this country today. I will not wait to hear your lovely voice again. Probably, that will lift my soul again. I will not disappoint you in whatever way... I will do this job. How do you see the music?

My Love, I would have loved to say more here but, I must leave now to see what I can to do to rectify this problem. I will only be myself if I statisfy all and sundry and fulfill all requirements. I will have to go. But, just bear in mind that I still love you with all my heart.

Still reply as soon as possible so that I will have the strenght to carry on with this last part of my project.

With all my love,

Iyke.





The lad replied to GWB with the new larger VW banner photos, you can see from his email just how much trouble he had to go to, in order to take these new photos, including paying bribes to security people at the factory, which means more of the scammers money wasted :).

When he sends the new video to the UK, he can send the VW banner shown in the photo as well, just to bump his courier costs up a bit more, I like his last paragraph, where he says, I will have to leave now to see how I can make a red bus matrialize from nowhere, that line tickled me :).

Subject: ...WAYS AND MEANS!

Your Excellency,

I had to wait to finish the assignment before writing a mail to you.

I really had to turn into an amature, untrained detective to able to get the what I wanted... though it was not at all easy. I discovered that the VW factory has been sold... to use their word, privatizied. The bidders are not the actually the new owners of the of the factory. From all indications, there is a 'powerful' politician who was formerly in power, an 'enemy' to Obasanjo who is the buyer of the factory but is using the Skoda company of Germany as a front. They, the bidders', have been given the go ahead order to occupy the factory. They have brought in some brand new cars but they have not started operations. They are very much conscious of the fact that their big secret might leak any moment. This made the few staffs still attached with the old VW to get angry with the new owners.

The old staffs' salary are now supposed to be paid by the new owners of which they are not paying at all. It was on this I had to capitalize; money channged hands but not without a fight. The so-called operations manager of the new owners of the facility tried all his possible best to stop us from taking a photogragh with the logo and insignia of the VW, treatening to call the riot poloce men that are guarding the new cars to throw us out. We had to withdraw the first day. I went back and spoke with the personel manager of the old VW and he took me to the security officer, who inturn called one of his security boys and gave him instructions. It was then I was told to select few of my friends to come back on a sunday morning when most will not be around to take the pictures... still, we had to be very fast and leave as soon as possible so that soldiers in patrol and the riot police men will not turn up and make things difficult. However, after all the strugglles, we got what we wanted.

So, Sir, here we are with the pictures! I had give the three pictures taken so that, maybe, a selection might be taken out of the three. I hope this ones is better than the former ones. I also hope it will do the fuction why it was requested for. It has not been easy all these while. But, I had to try my best to make sure I succeed.

However, I just got a mail from Brandie this morning. There is a problem. I was told to use a red big bus to video the summer holiday song. I searched all over for a red bus but, could not find any. It would have been a lot easier for me if the wife of owner of the bus that was at the background of the first video I sent had not denied me access to the bus at the dieing minute. The only red bus I saw belonged to the state government of Lagos. They said I have to pay them #25,000 (twenty thousand Naira) equivalent to $200 dollars per 30(thirty) minutes. I can not afford such money. I sent a mail to Brandie then informing her of the incapacitation. She instructed that I should use any red bus. I was able to fine a small transit van(this I was meant to understand from the mail she sent presently. In Nigeria here, we call transit van buses).

Now, she is saying that Luther and the producers of the music in the UK is very angry; that I have to find a way to do the video of the musicals again. Well, since he knows the date he gave for our coming to the US, and at the same time ordering for a remake of the video, there is nothing I can do than to have patience and fight on to success.

Moreover, the Nigerian Immigration Service just recently decided to change the face of all International Passport of all Nigerians. This made them to stop issueing new passports. This affected some of the menbers of the choir. So, had it been it were to be that the date for the travellings still remained on the 4th, it wouldn't have been possible. This delay now will give us the time to get ourselves more ready. I will have to send the comprehensive list as soon as possible.

I will have to leave now to see how I can make a red bus matrialize from nowhere if that should be the case at this juncture. I hope I have given a clear picture this time around. May God continue to give us all the patience and the strength to fight on to the end. God bless you.Till I hear from you. Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.


These are the new VW banner photos:







GWB mailed the lad, asking him to send the banner to the UK.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, sorry for the delay in replying to you, I have been busy lately.

The new photos are much better than the last photos you took, although they could have been a bit clearer, maybe the camera lens was dirty or the person taking the photos moved slightly as they took the photo, which is a shame, but they will suffice.

I sent an email to Brandie today, and she replied a few moments ago, she tells me that you are going to remake the Summer Hoiday bus song, I must say, I admire your fortitude, you are one hell of a hard working man, more power to your elbow. She said she was going to mail you after sending her email to me, so she might have mailed you by now.

When I received Brandie's reply, a thought occured to me, as the photos you sent were not perfectly clear, and due to the fact that the banner is so well made, as you will be sending a new video to the film people in the UK, I suggest that you send the VW banner to the UK along with the video in the same package, the headquarters of the World Volkswagen Owners Club is in the UK, and Brandie had a word with the film company producer called, Mr Baxendale, he has kindly offered to receive the banner and forward it to the owners club on my behalf, so when you next contact Brandie, please remind her that you will also be sending the banner to the UK at the same time.

I am flabbergasted at the lengths you had to go to in order to take the photos, the mind boggles that there could be so many obstacles in the way of taking a simple photo, it sounds like it was a complete nightmare for you, but again, you have shown how resilient you are in getting things done, you my friend, are one of a kind, you never cease to amaze me!

I have an emergency meeting to attend to right now, so I will end my email here, thanks again for all your hard work.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Brandie mailed him, she has been ordering some more expensive items in his name, that is sure to please him, he hates extravagance :).

Hiya baby,

Please don't feel down, lift your spirits up, I am with you in mind and spirit, and soon to be in body when you get here, or should I say, you will be in my body :)

You have no idea how happy I was when I heard you were going to look for a proper red bus or paint the yellow bus red, I so want to be with you, every day longer that I have to wait for you to be with me, is tearing at my heart, I was worried when they said they wont let you come to the US if you didn't remake the video, I want you so bad babe.

I know the difficulty you said you were having in finding a red bus, so when I told you to use any bus, except you used a van, not a bus, I was not to know that you call vans busses in Nigeria, how could I have known that, vans are small, busses are huge, that's all I know, if you called a van a bus over here, people would think you are some kind of crazy man :)

Thanks for explaining how bad the telephone companies are over there, it's no wonder that I can't get through, maybe you can get a new sim card with a different telephone providor and send me the new number, I got fed up trying to call your other number and not being able to get through, it was really annoying me, I slammed my phone down and when I did that, I chipped one of my nails, that really freaked me out, so I had to get my nails done again, what annoyed me most was that I had them done the day before I chipped my nail, what a waste of money, oh well, once you are here, i will never have to worry about money again, which reminds me, you never mentioned the bed photo that I sent to you, did you like our new bed and the other things I told you I had bought in your name?

I ordered a load more things for our new house, you wont believe this, but there was a sale on at the bathroom merchants, and you know how a normal toilet is small, well they have now invented a new thing called a "toilet bath", it's about two thirds the size of a full size bath, it's made of expensive Italian marble, with a seat in the middle and a large hole in the middle of the seat base, so you can sit down and do your toilet, and next to the seat is a gold shower attachment and gold taps, so you can take a shower whist going to the toilet, it's supposed to save time when you are getting ready to go to work or go out, as you can do both things at the same time, isn't that a crazy idea, and the best part, in the sale, it was only priced at $80,000, that's half the price it is supposed to sell at, but it's a special offer as it's a new invention, so I bought 2 for $80,000 each, which would have been the cost for the price of just one, so there is one for you and one for me, my toilet bath is made of white marble with the gold fittings, and to remind you of Nigeria, I ordered yours in green and white marble, the same colours of the nigerian flag, cool huh :), it's on order now, I said you will be paying for them when you arrive.

Something else I ordered, I don't know if you have these in Nigeria, it's a sort of sundbed machine, you know like the sunbeds you lie on with the flourescent tubes to get a nice tan, well this one I ordered, you don't lie down on it, it has a door that opens, you walk inside and there are flourescent tanning tubes from ceiling to floor, it's about 25 feet in length by by about 25 feet in width, there is a bar inside it, and a TV, CD player, DVD player, huge speakers to chill out to the sounds, and it's got a damn pool table inside as well, you can stay in there for hours, get a tan, get drunk, listen to music and play pool, how friggin cool is that, some of these machines are so expensive if you buy the top of the range model, it's like up to $1 million dollars for that one, but no way would I expect you to pay that much for one, that would be soooo extravagant, so what I did was got the next one down from the top of the range, which only costs $700,000, that might sound a lot to you, but they do install it in your home for free, they even give you a bottle of champagne for free with it, we will open that when we first use it, I ordered it yesterday, they said you can pay when you get here.

I got an email from President Bush today, I mentioned about what you were up to and I replied back saying you were doing a new video with a proper red bus, he replied back to me saying you made him some banner, and he wants you to send it over to the UK when you send the producer the video, I had a word with the producer, he was fine with that, he will pass it on the the Volkswagen people in the UK, something like that anyway, so send that over when you have made the video.

Bye for now darling, don't forget to send me your new phone number, I long to hear your voice again, come close to the computer screen, closer, closer baby, kiss me, let me feel your kiss XxX

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Somehow, my lad managed to find a big red bus :), and has made another Summer Holiday video, it was sent via FedEx today, should be in the UK on Thursday, he also sent the VW banner with it, sweet as :).

Subject: EXPECT THE PACKAGE...

My Love,

I have sent across the package with the banner included for the Mr President today being the 15th of october, 2007. The tracking number is xxxx xxxx xxxx, the ID number is: xxxx. I used my normal means of sending across packages: FedEx International Air Waybill. It should be with the recipient by thursday the 18th morning.

I hope everyone will like video this time around. I succeeded in using the red big bus this time. It was a heculian task but I thank God I got it at last. Your last mail was really a consolation to my state of mind. It has not been easy.

I would not want to stay long here. I really need to go get some rest. As I mentioned above, I included the banner in the package so that they will deliver it to its destination as Mr President requested. I will write you comprehensively when I see your reply to this mail and the accceptance of this last job.

I still love you with all my heart. Till I hear from you. My phone is working better now. You can try it now so that I will hear your melodious and angelic voice again. The number is still, +23480-30xxxxxx. I waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.

With all my love,

Iyke.





He mailed GWB to let him know the banner is on the way, he sounds quite tired, this must be taking it's toll on him :).

Subject: I HAVE SENT THE BANNER ACROSS!

Your Excellency,

I thank you very much for your last mail.

I would have replied before now, I was busy with the remake of the musical video. I have finished it. As you directed, I have sent across the VHS video with the banner inclusive to the UK. This is the tracking number of the FedEx Airbill: xxxx xxxx xxxx. The ID form number is: xxxx. It was sent today the 15th of october, 2007, to be expected on the 18th being thursday (morning).

I hope they would not complain again. I tried my very best to get the Big red bus for the remake of the Summer Holidays musical video. It was not an easy task to accomplish but, I had to try my best to make sure I deliver to the best of my ability. I am waiting for them to recieve the package and then give their 'verdict' on this 'matter'!!!

Probably, Sir, it will surely be when they have recieved the video and accepted it that Luther will give the next date for our coming to the US. Only that some of the members of the choir are still waiting for the clearance of their passport from the Immigration Service. I hope they will all get them by the end of the month or the first week of next month. But, all things been equal, we would be ready by this time mentioned.

Sir, I really need to get some nap. I have to leave now. I am waiting for your reply. Till I hear from you. May the Good Lord continue to protect you in all your endevours. Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





The video and banner have arrived, Shiver will be collecting them later this evening and uploading the video a couple of hours after that.

You can view the Summer Holiday video on YouTube by visiting the link below, he got the lip syncing slightly out, but what the hell, it still cost him time, and more importantly, money to hire that bus:

Scammer Sings "Summer Holiday" On A Big Red Bus (take 2)





The lad sent emails to Brandie and GWB today, I have been letting him sweat for a bit, and the suspense is killing him, at least he likes the look of the bed photo that Brandie sent him :).

Subject: THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING!

My Love,

The last mail I sent to you was to inform you of the finished remake of the musicals of the summer holiday package I sent to the UK. I thougth by now you would have confirm the reception of the package. I had been busy over here puting a lot of things together in preparation for the trip to join you in the US. I would have been more happy if you had sent me a mail by now so that I will know what next to do. Please, I want to hear from you as soon as possible.

However, I was so tired the day I sent my last mail to you. I would have mentioned the bed you ordered for us.I saw it in the photo you sent. It looks great. I only hope you dont fall in love with those huge designed 'pounders' around the bed when I am not around you... If I should notice that... I will change the bed with immediate effect!!! Got that?

Anyways, all that you wrote in the mail were just very okay but, you will have to tell me what is actually happening over there and in the UK. I will like and appreciate it so well if you tell me how they accepted the remake of the video of the summer holiday. I want to know that I have now not let anyone down. I want to know that the time has come for me to join my lifeline forever... please, the suspense is killing. I was also expecting to hear your wonderful melodious voice over the miles, none came. I was hoping to read your everconsoling mail, none came...the suspense is killing.

Till I hear from you My Love. Till I hear from you. I still love you more than you can ever think of.

With all my love,

Iyke





Just letting GWB know the banner was delivered.

Subject: THE BANNER HAS BEEN DELIVERED!

Your Excellency,

Your busy shedules must be the reason behind the delay in your much awaited reply to my last email to you. I just want to let you know, Sir, that the banner has been delivered to the Uk address as I was instructed.

I am also waiting very much ansciously to hear from you.

May the Good Lord continue to bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





Brandie has replied to him, knowing he wasn't driving the bus, I thought I would twist the knife a bit and tell him that I hoped he was driving the bus whilst singing, instead of it standing stationary :)

Hiya baby,

I tracked the package and saw it was delivered, I emailed the producer over there, but he was away for a few days on a break, and only just got back to me this morning, he said he will be sending us a copy of the new video you made, he has not viewed it yet either.

I just hope that it was a proper big red bus that you used, but more importantly, that you were actually driving it along whilst you were singing, because when you made the other video using the van, all the bits with you singing were done with the van not moving, it was just you sitting their motionless, and they really wanted to see you driving and singing at the same time, so I hope you did that this time, otherwise there will be a lot of angry producers wanting your blood if you fucked it up again at the second attempt.

Honey, how often do you go skiing? Because guess what, yesterday, I was looking at properties so we can have a winter home in Aspen, Colorado, they have great skiing there during the winter months, it's one of the most beautiful places on earth, it's so friggin cool there, and so it should be for just over $860,000 dollars, that's how much the home is that I liked in the mountains, so I bought it, actually, when I say that I bought it, that's not completely true, I ordered it in your name and all you need to do is pay for it when you arrive here, honestly baby, you will so like it in that place, you must ski a lot in Africa, you get loads of snow there don't you, I saw pictures of Africa on tv and it showed Mount Everest, did you ever ski down that mountain?

Hey you, the bed stays, I will think of those huge designed pounders when you make love to me, well until you see the plastic surgeon to get rid of that sad excuse of a small dick you have at the moment, as you wont be able to pleasure me properly with your tiny thing, I will need to use my imagination :)

I will get back to you as soon as I have viewed the video.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





GWB sent him a short reply, I am interested in knowing what old VW campervans go for in Nigeria:

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email, I can confirm that the banner was forwarded to the World Volkswagen Owners Club and has been received by them, they are delighted with, and have asked me to thank you for making it.

I received a copy of your new video which you made on a large red bus, Brandie sent a copy of it to me, she didn't sound too happy about it, I'm not sure why, she said she will be emailing you about it some time today.

Iyke, something in the new video caught my eye, whilst you are singing on the bus, I noticed that an VW camper drove past, I have taken a screenshot of it and attached it to this email, are there a lot of old VW campervans like that one in Nigeria?

Please do me a big favour, have a look around your local area, and see if you can find any of those old type 1 split screen campers for sale, either the 11 window version, or up to the 21 window versions that VW made, if you find one that is not for sale, ask the owner what sort of price they would want for it if they sold it, the type 1's were produced from 1950 through the end of the 1967, I am just interested to know what sort of price they sell for in Nigeria, I am interested in the type 1's with split screens only, no others.

How are you getting on with collating the list of people travelling to the US?

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





This was the VW camper behind him in the video:





Brandie sent the lad an email saying the new video was rubbish, and everyone is pissed off at him, also told him Luther is going on holiday and wont be back until January, that will piss him off and take the bait in to it's 13 month :)

Hiya baby,

I saw the new video yesterday, at last you managed to find a big red bus, but there are still 2 problems, and it's pissing everyone off, firstly, the name of the song is Summer Holiday, which would suggest nice sunny weather, but what did you do? You shot the video on a day when it was pouring with rain, Jesus H Christ, Iyke, are you stupid or something? Maybe you should have changed the words to "were all going on a WINTER holiday".

Secondly, you did it again, as in the first video, each time the camera is on you, the van and the bus were stationary, with you moving the steering wheel pretending to drive along, even the cameraman moved from side to side to make it look like you were moving, you had a fully operational bus, yet you never drove it whilst you were singing, why not?

The producer went apeshit when he saw it had been raining and you were not driving, Luther is also going mental, he says you are useless and you can't do anything right first or even second time, he is losing patience with you and is wondering if you really are worth all the effort, because when Luther makes music, he likes to get tracks down straight away, not having to keep re-recording everything due to people making mistakes, he's a perfectionist, and always has been.

Anyway, Luther said you should forget about doing any more rehearsals for now and take a break from it, Luther goes away on Holiday to the island of Montserrat from November through to the first week of January, he has been going to the island for every Christmas and new years celebration for about the last 15 tears, so you are being stood down until he returns from his holiday.

I can't believe you still make mistakes darling, now it's going to be even longer until we are together, it's like a never ending road, just when you think you are getting to the end of it, it branches off in another direction, I really am unhappy now and I am crying as I type this email, I desperately want to be with you, I just wish you could get things right first time, you would be here now if you did.

I think it will do you good to take a break, it must have been hard work having to do everything you have done so far, so you deserve a rest, and in the new year you can come to the US and everything will be fine, once the song is out of the way, we can take some time to ourselves once we are married, then after that you can get to work on a solo music project and get the film of your life story made, things are going to be so good for us baby, I bought some new silk knickers the other day, hoping that you would soon be here to take them off for me, I had a seamstress embroider them with these words, (The Contents Of These Knickers Belong To Iyke), meaning my pussy belongs to you, but now I am unhappy because you are not here to take my knickers off, so when you get here, I really should make you put the knickers on, then when you take them off, I would tell you that's the last time you will be getting in to my knickers, but I still love you honey, our day will soon come.

I can hardly see the screen because of all the tears in my eyes, so I am going now, it's hard to type whilst crying, love you lots.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





I have not heard from the lad since his last email on October 22nd, that's 14 days without a reply, he has gone 10 or 12 days without mailing before, but he might be so pissed off after my last email, or he has rumbled the bait, or the choir buried him when he told them the bad news about having to wait until January 2008, I don't know, more than likely, he is in a clinic for depression over it :), I sent him an email asking if he was ok.

Hiya baby,

Where are you? I have not had an email from you for ages, it's been a whole 2 weeks since I received an email from you, it's like you have vanished off the face of the earth, are you alright?

I miss you so much, I'm not angry with you now, like I was in my last email, that's all in the past now, I was only agry because I long to be with you, and when you messed the video up, I was like, oh my fucking god, this can't be happening, but we need to look to the future now, and when Luther gets back in the new year, it will be plain sailing for us, I really can't wait for the day that we will be together, I just wish it was now, I hate all this waiting around for you to get here.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





Yeeehaaaaaaa, after 22 days without a word, the lad is back in touch with Brandie and GWB :), he asks if the video needs doing again, or is it ok as it is LOL, now let me think, ermmmmmm :), maybe there will be a new video project the UK producers want to try him with instead, something with a Christmas film theme :)

Subject: OUT OF SIGHT IS NOT OUT OF MIND

My Love,

I thank you very much for your last email.Although I am replying so late to your mails.

I would have replied it earlier but I wanted to sort things out first.

We have been finding it very difficult getting the passports and the necessary papers and requirements required for our travelling to the USA. I thank God that we,after all the hazzles, were able to get the new E-type passports that the government want all to have.All these while i have been busy going from Immigration to another thereby having restless mind.I thank God that everything is now settled and we are set waiting for Gods time.

I have to appologize for the mistake in the remake of the Summer Holiday Video.I did not understand that it is a must that i should drive the Bus while singing,I thought is just to get the Big Red Bus and follow according to what you wrote to me on the very first day you send to me the video.My Agreement with the people concern for the bus were to pretend as if i am driving the Bus while singing,That is our Agreement as that involved lesser money than to drive the Bus while singing.They said under no Circumstances they will allow another person who is not among the company driver to drive the bus.If i were told ealier that i must drive the Bus Before the Shooting of the Video,I would have tried my best to see what i can do.Secondly that day,we were shooting the video,all of a sudden the rain started showering without giving anyone signal. A little shower that has now cost me this delay. We couldn't cancel that shooting for that day because we have already paid the company a huge amount of money for hours we are to use the red bus. So, we had to carry on with the shooting of the video. Well, the deed has been done. I will have to wait till january.Please accept my Apology. However do you know if the Producer in the Uk and Luther want the Remake of the Video or Will that one be ok? I will like to Know.

Honey,I miss you so much,I dont know how to explain things to you but i beleive that every problem has its expering date.I quite understand all your feelings about me but i tell you that i do feel you most here,I long to be with you also,I mean is just like an endless dream,when i think am there for you,something comes accross.I know that Good things dont come easy.I know that my Relation with you will bring us good future and for our Generation to Come.I dont pass a night without seeing you in my lovely Dream.Each time i looked at your photo,It warms my heart that iam really lucky to know you.I promise to take care of you,Maintain you to the best of my ability,No Man can claim to the best but i assure you that i will treat you like a good husband treats his wife.My love for you will be like that of Jesus Christ for the little children.We have seen ourself,What we will be praying is for Gods guidance,protection,Let the joy of God fill our heart,let his blessings be on us as we walk and trust in him.I love you more than you know.

My Angel,I beg to stop here so far,Promising you thousands of kises.

HONNEST OUT OF SIGHT IS NOT OUT OF MIND

Love you Always

With all my Love,

Iyke.





He sent this to GWB, a bit about them getting their new e-passports and how Brandies email was disturbing to him when he received it, and damn, those type 1 VW's are so cheap in Nigeria, an operational one for the equivalent of 750, that's amazing, they are worth thousands in the UK in non working order, basically just for a rolling shell with no engine or windows etc, he also mentioned that those in the choir who dropped out, are saying this is 419 stuff, but he still believes BWAHAHAHA.

Subject: JUST WANTED TO SORT THINGS OUT FIRST. Your Excellency,

I thank you very much for your last email. Although I am replying it so late.

I would have replied it earlier but I wanted to sort things out first. We have finally succeeded in getting ourselves the intertional passports that was being delayed all these while. I even read in the papers that Nigerians in the US who want to travels for the feastive periods are finding it very difficult getting the passports and the necessary papers and requirements. I thank God that we, after all the hazzles, were able to get the new E-type passports that the government want all to have.

However, I got a mail from Brandie ... the content was so disturbing. According to her, I am to stop all rehearsals as of the moment untill the first week of January 2008; that Luther would be taking a holiday to the Island of Montserrat from November through to the first week of January; that he has been going to the island for every Christmas and new year's celebration for about the last 15 years; that I would be stood down until he returns from his holiday. With this development, I do not know if the impatient members of the choir will have the patience to hold on till January. Consequently, I am not in rush to send across the excert names of the members of the choir that would be coming to the US. I may go ahead to do that now and some of them would retrogress and leave me in the blues. So, I will have to watch them till the end of november so that I will know those that are still interested. I just hope that it will not be so late by then. Some of the members that left the choir went about saying that we are just wasting our time claiming to be preparing to go to the US; that it is just 419 stuff that we are involved in. But, I know that my prayers will be answered by Almighty Father.

However, Brandie was complaining of the video. She said that the video was shot in the rain rather than in a sunny weather. But, we were shooting the video when the rain started showering without giving anyone signal. A little shower that has now cost me this delay. We couldn't cancel that shooting for that day because we have already paid the company a huge amount of money for hours we are to use the red bus. So, we had to carry on with the shooting of the video. Well, the deed has been done. I will have to wait till january.

I have made enquiries of the 11 window version of a type 1 VW split screen camper. According to them, the operational one over here costs about #200,000.00 (Two hundred thousand Naira, about $1,500.00). Farely used imported from abroad...rare, however, costs about #400,000.00(Four hundred thousend Naira, about $3000.00 dollars). If per chance a brand new one comes across, but very very very rare, costs about 1.5 to 2 million Naira.

As of the moment, I am just trying to put myself together.

I will have to stop here and wait for your reply. May God continue to bless you.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





It's only been 4 days since you mailed me, impatient dumbass.

Subject: Is Everything ok?

My Love,

Is Everything ok?I wait to hear from you.I mean is been long i send you an email without reply.I long to hear from you honey.

Take care of yourself,I miss you.

Love you Always,

All My Love,

Iyke





Brandie replied and told him off a little

Hiya baby,

It's about time you replied, do you have any idea how much I was worried about you when I didn't hear from you for so long, well did you? It was very selfish of you not to email me in all this while, for all I know, you might have been mowed down by a car on an expressway, I hear the expressways over there are very dangerous, and after seeing the videos on you on the bus, I can see why.

Don't worry about the mistake you made in the Summer Holiday video, I am just happy that you are ok, I am so happy to hear from you again.

I had a word with Luther and the producers about the video and they said there is no point in you making that same one again, you had enough chances to get that one right, but they do have a new project they want to try you with, it has a Christmas theme to it, I will let you know more once they give me the full details.

Hey you, what's this, I just got another email from you saying, "Is Everything ok?I wait to hear from you.I mean is been long i send you an email without reply.I long to hear from you honey".

What do you mean it's been long since I replied to you, you only sent your other email 4 days ago, you cheeky son of a bitch, you didn't reply to me for 3 weeks, and now you are moaning because I have not replied to you straight away, stop acting like a whining little bitch, I hate shit like that, I do have a life here you know, I don't spend all day waiting on the internet, just on the off chance that you send me an email, I will reply to you when I see your email, and as I only saw both of the emails today, I am replying now, I have been away at a friends house for a few days, we were just chilling out, listening to music, shopping, doing our hair and makeup, you know, all the girly things that girls do, and she had a couple of guys round, don't worry, I didn't get off with any of them, just mutual friends, that's all, so quit moaning at me or I will leave it for weeks to reply next time, just like you did.

Anyway, I have got some stuff to do and then I am going to a party tonight with some girlfriends.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





I'm not sure what I am going to ask him to do that's got a Christmas theme, I'm still thinking about that.

He sent Brandie an email today, asking if he can do the Summer Holiday video again, instead of starting a new video project, as he already has the music for that one, and his funds are drying up, mentions people saying it's 419 stuff again, but he who laughs last, laughs best LOL :).

Subject: Important

My Love,

Cool Honey, I didnt just decide not to reply your Email Ealier.It was a mistake anyway, I have no reason for the mistake but the content of that email you send to me then was more than a shock just as we received our international Passports. Just pardon me for the mistake; I Know you too got the same shock when the Producers said their mind also but let by gone be gone. Lets face the good future. The Bible says, Appologise and you shall be Forgive.

I Always love your Courage My Love, I really understand your effort to give me all the best tracks in the Music and Film Industry which you Earlier promised me. This new project would have been more opportunity for me to prove things right now but HONNEST I dont know how I can come up for the money for the new project the producers will be sending.It will cost more money again going to the studio for the voicing,paying all the engeneers fees,talk of the shooting editing andall.My Quetion if the Summer Holiday will repeated is just because it will cost not much as i have the MUSIC Alreay and will only need to go for the Red Big bus and money for the Fedex.sending

It has been a Hard time for me here all this time especially since the Trip was shifted to Next year. Some friends that has been assisting me are all saying that I am been deceived by the 419 Stuff but I really know what I need in life that he who laughs last laughs best. Because of what Do Really happen here. Most Nigerians always be anxious to know the fate of what they want to commit money for.

I dont know how you may feel after reading this mail. But I hard to say my feelings out.

My Warmest Regards To You,

Hope to Hear from you again,

All My Love,

Iyke





It's been a while since either Brandie or GWB have been in contact with the lad, I wanted to get something for him to do for Christmas, but the lack of a video links to send for him to copy, was not helping matters, so I am going to forget about that, it's too late now anyway. He sent GWB an email today with the details of all the choir members travelling, again mentions that some of them say he is being 419 scammed :).

Subject: THE LIST OF THE MEMBERS OF THE CHOIR.

Your Excellency,

SIR, THIS IS IYKE MBAEGBU: MY YAHOOMAIL ACCOUNT IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH ATTACHMENTS. I AM USING THIS MEDIUM TO MAKE SURE YOU GOT THIS MAIL.

It has really been long since I read your inspiring mails. I sent a mail on the 12th of November but did not get any reply. I know it must be due to your nemerous engagements. However, below is the names of the members of the choir that will be coming to the US.***** I appologise for the lateness of this list. I would have sent it earlier than now but, there were some of the members whom I wanted to watch very closely to know if they are still interested or if they were just pretending in order to make things difficult for every one. Some of those I srutinized were sent out of the group while some few names were used to replace those of them sent off. The number has reduced to 40 (fourty) instead of the former 46 people. I had to choose the most important ones among the whole lot. There would be no need taking a crowd along when all in the crowd are not important.

However, Brandie sent me a mail a forthnight ago. She wanted to give me another work that involves the christmas season. But, I had to tell her that I am very much incapacitated financially. I had to borrow money to do some of the things I deed the last time I was given a project. To be candid, some of the choir member that I sent away told me categorically that I am involved with 419 scamers; that for how long would I be doing things without seeing the end of the project. While some were asking why we haven't come to the US since we have all gotten our International passports. Some even left on their own. Worst still, some I borrowed money from are on my neck asking for their money since I am still in Nigeria. They thought that by now I would have been away to be able to pay them back their money. But, I know it is impatience and inexposure that is really making them sound so ridiculous. But, at the same time, I am not finding it funny.

Again, Brandie mentioned in her mail that Luther said he wants the choir in the US in the new year. I do not know if there could be a letter of invitation before this time to enable us get the necssary documents ready with your mighty help in the background. Furthermore, it will make all the members of the choir to be rest assured that all are in the safest hands on earth. Nigeria has made her citizens to be existentailists, for them, seeing is believing. Distrust is every where. Most times, one would not blame them. We are praying that very soon things will come to normal and all will live a life worth living.

Furthermore, majority of the members of the choir are dependents. So, it will be something very wonderful if the visa will be issued earlier on so that all will have the time to get themselves very well prepared. All these while, atleast, preparations has been done several times without the commencement of the travels. So, as Luther mentioned the first week of january, it will be very nice if the visa would be issued very soon and the final preparations will be made... the journey begining.

I am still very very grateful to you. I owe you all without any reservations. I know with time I will make sure that I see to it that charity works and donations will be the utmost thing in my agenda to humanity. God will continue to be with you, to lead and guard you in the day and in the night all the days of your life. Amen. I want to read again from you. Your mails are keepsakes. Your are blessed.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





It's now Christmas day, I have been bored with this bait for a while now, it has passed the 1 year mark, and I think I am going to kill the bait now (sort of, maybe).

Brandie was supposed to get back to the lad with a new task/video, but I couldn't find a suitable video clip to send him to make something with a Christmas theme, so I left it, thinking if he would get to Brandie to ask if she was ok, as she hadn't contacted him for a while, but there have been no emails for her, only the one mail to GWB, so he obviouly doesnt love her, at least that's what Brandie will tell him anyway, so she is finishing with him.

GWB has some more bad news, he has found out he is a scammer, and will call him out on it, I will leave it a couple of days before Brandie mails him.




It's now December 29th, GWB has not sent an email to the lad yet to tell him he knows he is a scammer, I was holding out to see if he mailed first, and he sent 2 emails today, first one to Brandie, asking if she is still annoyed, well you can imagine she will be after he has not mailed her for so long (last mail to Brandie November 20th), and even worse when GWB ponders about telling her the lad is a scammer :).

Subject: {PROSPEROUS 2008 AND BEYOND)

My Love,

Whats up HONNEY? Is been so long I hear from you. Hope nothing wrong or are you still Annoyed, You Better be not. Time to wish and say hello to Love Ones, Friends and Well Wishers, {PROSPEROUS 2008 AND BEYOND) Time to pray for love ones That God will us to the New Year believing that all our past Efforts must be achieved as we Enter in the New Big Year. Happy New Year In Advance.

I need to hear from you My Love, Your words are more than Courage each time I read from your mail. Out of sight is not out of mind I always tell you.

I LOVE YOU ONCE MORE.

With All My Love,

Iyke





This one was sent to GWB.

Subject: {PROSPEROUS 2008 AND BEYOND)

Your Excellency

Is been so long I hear from you Sir always love to read from you. Keeping silent for long makes feel as if I am dead there by will never achieve my covenant with God as Earlier let you know when I first Contact you in life (To lift Gods Name above than to Worship Oracle in the Village. Sir Just your Hello to me makes me FEEL okay again

Time to wish and say hello to Love Ones, Friends and Well Wishers, {PROSPEROUS 2008 AND BEYOND) Time to pray for love ones That God will SEE us THROUGH the New Year believing that all our past Efforts must be achieved as we Enter in the New Big Year.

Happy New Year In Advance.

I Will Love to hear from you Sir Your words are more than Courage each time I read from your mail.

Make God Always use you to bless the Whole Word. Always Like Peace to Rule.

May God Strengthens you more to enable you accomplish and your Good wishes for the Charities, which has been our entire wish to dedicate the Fund from the Y, M, C, A Song.

God Father Please make it a Reality

May God Bless You More,

Yours Sincerely

Iyke Mbaegbu





I had not heard from the lad since his last email on December 29th, I was going to write back as GWB at that time, to tell him it had been brought to my attention that he is a scammer, but as I was getting bored with the bait, so, rather than burn him or carry on with it, I decided to not bother emailing him again, I never sent any more emails from GWB or Brandie, then at 7:00am this morning, January 27th, 2 emails arrived :), this one to GWB.

Subject: HAPPY NEW YEAR YOUR EXCELLENCY!

Your Excellency,

I have been down all these while. Even the health of my poor father is detoriating by the day... to the point of death. I will not know what to do, how to carry on, if all my struggles to be someone in life, to make my father enjoy from the success of my hands proove abortive. And to make matters worse, I have not read any of your soul-lifting, encouraging, and great admonitions that no person can give if not you. Time without number, I have dragged myself to the cafe hoping to hear from you... nothing!

I do not know if my problems are my own health, or that of my father or even the fact that I have not heard from you all these while. The whole thing is compounding into a nightmare. Most times I just take it that it was your numerous engagements that is making you to allow me to die off. But, still, I hope I will hear from you this time. I hope you will allow me to read those encouraging words of yours. Please, Sir, do not let me grow bunkers. A line from you will surely do the magic if not the miracle.

Sir, I want to wish you again, HAPPY NEW YEAR! Even if the year is already one month old and that I have done that earlier in the month. I hope work will enable you to write me a line. The Good Lord will continue to protect you in all your endevours. You have already written your name in history and so it shall remain.

I once read over the papers that the vice president's wing(office) of the white house was caught by fire although it was arrested as soon as it started with no one hurt. The Lord will continue to protect you. You are blessed. You will remain blessed.

Till I hear from you.

Yours Sincerely

Iyke Mbaegbu





Subject: QUITE A LONG TIME.... SO PAINFUL!

My Love, I don't want to believe that you wanted to retaliate by keeping mute all these while. The time I couldn't write you was because of certian circumstances beyond my control as at that time. Things were so jamb-packed for me... to the extent that to concentrate was a very hectic task. I sent you some mails afterwards (including my new year wishes) but you never replied me. All these while I have not been feeling so fine. However, I am geting myself now.

Well, if you are still annoyed that I didn't write to you then, just ease the anger and let's talk of our future. Even the reply I gave concerning the project you were about talking about in the mail you sent last, that I didn't favourably reply to, was becauseof the state of my mind then. Now, I know and feel better. Just allow things to flow.

How was your xmas celebrations? How did you usher in the new year? I hope every body around you really had a good time. How is Luther? He should have resumed work by now. Extend my new year greetings to every one once again. Lol.

I really want to read your mail(s) again. I really want to know if you are okay. I really want to hear from my love, my heart ... my lifeline! Do not keep me in such a great agony, suspence and bitterness. Remember you said you love me. If things were to be okay for me over here, I wouldn't have kept silent all these while. However, with you by my side, I will surely bounce back again. So, my Love, do reply to this mail and tell me what next to do.

I still love you as ever. Untill I see your reply.

With All My Love,

Iyke





Oh well, it's time for Brandie to tell him she knows he is a scammer, GWB told her about it and it's making her ill :)

Hi Iyke,

Yes, I am still angry with you, infact, I am bloody livid, I shouldn't even be emailing you now, President Bush told me not to email you until he has finished investigating you, why didn't you tell me that you used to be a scammer?

The president told me abit about it, he said he was sitting in his office one day, when he gets some folder with a lot of Nigerian criminal names and details in it, and to his horror, your name was on the list of criminals, you are being watched by FBI and CIA agents who are undercover in Nigeria, they identified you and loads of other scammers, they are watching your every move over there, the President is very troubled over this, he thought you were a good man, but now this has come up.

I really am very upset, what am I supposed to do without you here with me, tears are running down my face as I type this email and my mascara is running from my eyes down my cheeks, it looks like I am crying ink tears, I think I am losing my mind, I still love you but I am hurting so bad, I started hearing voices in my head because of my depression and everything feels dark, you lock me in the cellar of love and feed me pins, where shall we sleep tonight Mother? In Father's grave? My eyes, my eyes are pies, and yours are lies, ALL LIES! I am a fly, trapped in a bottle of shadows, Bzzzzzzzz... The birds have plucked out my eyes, what's for tea, mother? Maggots on toast? And they tap at my window with tiny poles, it's enough to make you want to hide in the wardrobe of darkness, I don't feel well baby, my doctor said I might need to go to the psychiatric unit for a rest, he thinks this could be the onset of mental illness, and it's all your fault for making me depressed, if I could get my hands on you I would break your neck, you dirty, lieing, theiving bastard, I hate you for ruining my dreams of you being my husband and having your child, and what about all the gold taps I bought for our house, how are you going to pay for those now?

Look, I still love, call me a crazy gal if you like, but I do love you with all my heart, but then I start thinking deeply, and it's you again, you hurt me, I want to have you killed by the little people who live under the pavement and come out at night to scavenge the streets, they would feast on your flesh if I had my way, it's not their fault they live under ground, they are just shy and sick, no doubt they were normal people like me at one time, only smaller, then something bad happened in their lives to make them seek out the darkness beneath, just like something bad is happening to me now, if I end up there in the darkness, you better keep looking over your shoulder, because one day, I will come for you and that will be your last day on earth before your journey to hell.

Baby, can you see my hurt? can you feel my hurt? I wanted you so bad, now I don't know what to do anymore, what shall I do? President Bush said he will be emailing you tomorrow, please tell him the truth about whatever it is that you did to scam people, you know what will happen if you don't, don't you? You know what a powerful man he is, he could make you vanish and nobody would ever see you again, then I would be left with he little people in the land of the dark, so please tell him the TRUTH when he asks you, ok? Don't make me go and live with the little people!

I need to go now, my head is spinning and I am rocking back and forth in my chair, I dont feel well darling, you were my night in shining armour, now you are just like the shining.

Hope to hear from you again soon babe.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS

All My Love,

Brandie.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX





GWB sends the lad an email telling him exactly what's going on, no doubt he will deny it all in typical lad fashion. I think his head might explode when he reads that email :)

It is a matter of comply or die, hopefully he will comply with my requests, in future emails, I will say that I need him to do some under cover work for me, perhaps have some lads holding signs at an airport or other meeting points like certain pyramids in Nigeria, and laddy has to take some photos of them, this can be his way of showing he is a changed man before I will let him come to the US.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

You have disappointed me badly, do you remember not long after you first contacted me, you sent me an email with the subject heading, "True Confession", do you remember that?

In that email, you said you had done some bad things in your life, you stated "looking for money has made me at times go against Gods Way to satisfy what i need at a time", you also said "I have tried stealing by picking pocket at the bus stop".

In your confession, you made no mention whatsoever about being involved in 419 fraud, so it came as a surprise to me when recently, a scam dossier was given to me, now I'm sure that I have told you before just how much I despise 419ers, and how I get scam dossiers all the time, and that we have CIA and FBI opeartives working undercover in Nigeria, tracing and tracking 419 scammers, and then working with my close personal friend, who is the EFCC Executive Chairman, Nuhu Ribadu, to snatch these 419 parasites from their homes at night whilst they are sleeping, from where they are taken to a place of detention, where they languish in jail for years before their trials even come before the courts.

I clearly remember telling you all about that in previous emails, so let's get back to what I was saying, this dossier lands on my desk at the White House, and whilst I was going through the list of scammer names, I see the name, Iyke Mbaegbu, I think to myself that this is probably just someone else who shares the same name as you, I then look at the surveillance photos in the dossier, and I see photos of you taken by our operatives going back to 2006/07, which confirm to me that you certainly are the scammer named as Iyke Mbaegbu who is in the reports, because the person in the photos is the same person in the photos you sent to me of yourself.

There is a lot written about you in the reports, and I want to know why you never told me about your involvement in 419 fraud?

Who is Barrister Idris Yusuf, and who is Dr Momoh? You are implicated with the 2 scammers who use those fake names, now I am giving you only one chance to come clean with me, because you and these people who scammed with you, are responsible for stealing a lot of money from an elderly couple from the Unitd States, this couple even had to sell some of their precious items to send fees to Barrister Idris Yusuf and Dr Momoh, and some of those fees were sent via Western Union, where the receivers name was Iyke Mbaegbu, we have all of this evidence against you, and what is making things worse for you, is the fact that the elderly couple who were scammed, are the parents of a close friend of mine, and I know this couple extremly well, so you can imagine how much I would like to see their scammers punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Iyke, I have to admit that I have grown fond of you in the time that we have emailed each other, you have shown me that you can work hard at things, and believe me when I say that I want to cut you some slack, but you need to understand that the victims were the parents of my close friend, and someone has to face the music, we don't know who Barrister Idris Yusuf or Dr Momoh are, nor do we know where they are, which only leaves you as the main suspect.

I spoke to Nuhu Ribadu about you today, he is very eager to have EFCC officers arrest you immediately and take you to a maximum security prison in Lagos, he said that because the couple scammed are close to me, the scammers will receive the severest of punishments.

If I was you, Iyke, I would not like to be imprisoned in a place like Kirikiri or Ikoyi prison in Lagos, I have heard horror stories about those places, inmates get killed there all the time, they get tortured by prison guards, they get attacked by other prisoners and they often die, which is usually put down on their death certificates as death from natural causes.

Can you see my quandry, Iyke? I like you, and wouldn't like to see you stuck in a prison for 20 years or more, or worse, killed in prison, but at the same time, I need someone to be severly punished for the crimes against my friends, it is quite unfortunate for you that of all the people on this planet, you chose to be part of a scam that involved scamming people I know and love dearly.

It sure is strange how things work out, never in my wildest dreams could I ever have imagined that the stranger (you) contacting me over a year ago, would turn out to be part of the scamming gang responsible for this horrible crime against the parents of my friend, and I'm sure you are now regretting the day that you first emailed me, I also bet that you must think you are the unluckiest person on earth right at this moment in time, I would agree that you are, but god damnit it, I am the President of the United States of America, and I will never let a criminal get away with what you and your scamming cohorts have done, but this does give me one hell of a quandry, do I just order that you are detained immediately, or do I give you a chance to come clean and tell me all about your 419 scams, and I mean ALL of your 419 scams.

Iyke, I also want to know the real names and addresses of the scammers pretending to be Barrister Idris Yusuf and Dr Momoh, the only way you are going to stay out of prison is if you supply me with their details, I want them, so you make sure you give me the correct details, otherwise I will give the order and you will vanish of the face of the earth, they might even take you to one of their secret prisons, you know, the places where you go in, but you never come out, where the only thing you have in your cell is rats and cockroaches, kept in solitary confinement for the rest of your days, never speaking with another human being again, being tortured every day, is that what you want, Iyke?

I suggest that you start sending me details as soon as you get this email, do not try to run away and hide, you are being closely monitored, if you try to run, you will be taken down.

I told Brandie not to email you, and of course, you can also forget about bringing your choir to the United States, what excuse you make up to tell them is completely up to you. Brandie knows that you are a scammer, but I have not told Luther about it, and I have advised Brandie not to tell him either, I know that girl still loves you deeply and I don't want to see her get hurt because of your scamming actions, so whilst your choir will now not be coming to the United States, there may still be a chance for you to come here on your own at some point to be with Brandie, and you may still want to work with Luther to make some records, that's why I have not told Luther about this, that option is still open for you, but this all depends on what you can do for me, by the way, I have lifted the email sanction and Brandie is now free to email you, as you are free to email her.

I have no idea how your church members will react when they find out their dreams have been ruined because of you being a 419 fraudster, I can imagine they will be upset with you, but being Godly people in a church, I expect they will forgive you, failing that, they might try to lynch you if they get very angry with you. Obviously, that might only happen if they found out the truth about you, and I doubt that you will tell them about it, then again, if you do not give me the information I want, I will personally send emails to every member of your choir, remember that you supplied me with all of the names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses, and if I am forced to contact them all, you can be sure that I will be telling them that their names have been blacklisted, meaning that they will never be granted access to the United States at any time due to being connected to a known 419 scammer.

Even if you make up some excuse as to why the trip to the United States is off, they might still be very angry with you, so if you feel that you cannot stay where you are now due to feeling unsafe, I would advise you to leave the area and go somewhere where they can't find you, perhaps you could go back to your parents village and keep a low profile there, or go to another town and stay with friends, it's up to you, but please remember that you will be followed by our operatives wherever you go, you wont see them, but they will see you and everything you do, and before you travel anywhere, make sure you tell me exactly where you are going before you go there, I will then give our operatives the go ahead to let you travel, otherwise, if they see you leaving the are, they will take you down.

So, Iyke, there you have it, your life is in ruins right now, but you can be your own saviour, just give me the information that I requested and I will see to it that you are not punished in any way.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Laddy has replied to Brandies demented email, he seems confused, good job he hasn't gone bunkers and crakers :), no reply for GWB yet, he might be writing it at the moment, I'll check my mail again soon.

Subject: I'M TOTALLY CONFUSED.

My Love,

If not I have undergone a lot of hard times in this world, I would have gone bunkers and crakers at the time I got your mail. As I went through the mail, though, tears started flowing down my cheeks. I remembered all that I went through in life to be where I am now. I remembered how I resolved within myself that I will never indulge in anything crime again in life. I explained to Mr President most of the things I deed previousely in the name of 'to survive'. He asked certian questions which I answered him in all truthfulness. As I have explained to Mr President, of which he told me that I have paid for all my sins by working in my church and other good deeds I have been doing, if it entails that I should be going to prison for these sins, well, I will not mind... provided I am assisted in this project that I have laboured for the whole of last year to this moment as I am writing this mail. If to pay for my sins entails going behind bars... I will accept it in good faith.

However, I still love you as you love me. I will not want you to be disorganised in any way. I will never want you to be in agony because of me. I am not a lier. I have never lied to you niether will I lie to you. I only pray here that my past will never bring ill luck to you or other innocent souls that I have been working with all these times. I want you to be okay in life through the gifts God gave to me. Now, if I am not assisted, what will become all those things you bought in my name... To be frank, I am confused... totally at that!

Mr Presisdent has not written me yet. I am waiting for his mail. If there are crimes I committed, I will surely answer for them. I will not like it if my sins are passed to my wife (to be) or any other person that didn't deserve any purnishment. ASSIST ME TO TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU. I STILL LOVE YOU. Another man's sins should not be passed to me and I would not want my sins to be passed to the other either. I know you have the reserve to make sure things goes back to our previous plans... Just try ... you can.

I will have to stop here. I await your reply. I would have replied earlier than now but, I have to travel to the village to see my dieing dad. My troubles are getting bigger by the day... I am really confused....

Till I hear from you. I still love you.

With All My Love,

Iyke





I have been blanking the lad since his last email to Brandie, thought I would let his head simmer for a while, tonight, he emailed Brandie and GWB, it appears that he has not seen the email that GWB sent to him at the start of February, so I resent it to him again with some other stuff about him being executed :lol:, he seems to have money problems and the choir and others will want paying back :), this one to GWB.

Subject: IN YOUR MERCY....

Your Excellency,

I have waited and waited for your mail all these days, months, without hearing from you. I do not know what is actually happening. The other day I got a mail from Brandie. She told me that you got a list of names of some '419s' from Nigeria and to your horror my name was among them. Sir, I thought I explained all these things in the initial mails we exchanged. I told you that I have done a lot of things to make ends meet of which I came to realise that all those crimes can never help one. It was based on this realization that I wrote the mail I wrote to you four years ago of which it took you three years to reply. In all my struggles in life, last year was the only year where I was so fulfiled with myself because I, for the first time, is realising my laten potentials of which I am seeing it going down the drain.

Sir, if it entails my going to jail for all the crimes I committed in those years, I will never mind! But, all the same, I will never want my choir members who have never in their life gotten themselves involved in crime of any sort made to suffer because of me. Sir, with all that is good and holy, with a repented heart with which I entered the church to wash away my sins and to run away from idol worship, I leave myself to your mercy. In your mercy, do not allow others to suffer without cause. In your mercy, save innocent souls from shame, stress, loss and disorientations. As for me, I am ready to go to jail for all the sins I committed but, let this project have its way.

I have really committed a lot of borrowed money into this project. Many of the choir memebers contributed a lot too. I do not know where to begin again or what to do next. Just tell me what to do next. I know for you to assist me means nothing to you and for you to nail me to the cross means nothing to you either. It is just your benevolence that you want to show... I am at your mercy.

Brandie also said that you are investigating my case and watching my movements. I can be picked anytime. I am never hiding. I will submit myself willingly to any law enforcement agent that comes for me. My only plea is: LET THIS PROJECT BE FINISHED, I BEG YOU SIR.

Do not throw me away.... a line from you will surely save me from running mad. I can not think straigth again.

Yours sincerely,

Iyke Mbaegbu.





To Brandie:

Subject: I CANT BELIEVE IT...

My Love,

I don't want to presume presumptions. Neither would I like to admit that all these while I have been used and dumped. Ever before I was given all the projects that I accomplished, Mr President has asked and known most of my activities in the past. The initial emails I and Mr President exchanged dwelled on the issue concerning me and what I have involved myself in the past. If at this moment, I will be purnished ( with some innocent souls who have never in their lives gotten themselves involved in crime) without mercy, well, there is nothing I can do about it. Even if there is no more business between us, you should have to come out categorically and tell me what the action would be!

You always told me you love me. You were the one that saw me and started having feelings for me. I saw your pictures and accepted you with all my heart; went through all the rituals of taking naked pictures of myself and sending them to you; went through all the stress in accomplishing all the project given to me... borrowed money to make sure that things were in order, hoping that by the time I finish with this project, I will be able to pay back; putting friends into shame and stress... I CANT BELIEVE IT. The only favour I ask of you is for you to let me know in excert terms what will be the next action to be taken....Plzzz, I beg you. Even if it is in the negetive, I would not mind. Just a line from you and every thing will be okay!

I told you in my last mail that I am ready and willing to go to jail for the crimes I committed provided I don't make some innocent souls suffer for the sins they never committed. A word from you is enough to clear the cloudy air.

I cant think straight again...

Iyke.





GWB replied:

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

From what you have written, it appears that you have not yet read the email that I sent to you on February 1st, here is a copy of the email I sent to you on that date:

FEBRUARY 1ST EMAIL STARTS HERE

You have disappointed me badly, do you remember not long after you first contacted me, you sent me an email with the subject heading, "True Confession", do you remember that?

In that email, you said you had done some bad things in your life, you stated "looking for money has made me at times go against Gods Way to satisfy what i need at a time", you also said "I have tried stealing by picking pocket at the bus stop".

In your confession, you made no mention whatsoever about being involved in 419 fraud, so it came as a surprise to me when recently, a scam dossier was given to me, now I'm sure that I have told you before just how much I despise 419ers, and how I get scam dossiers all the time, and that we have CIA and FBI opeartives working undercover in Nigeria, tracing and tracking 419 scammers, and then working with my close personal friend, who is the EFCC Executive Chairman, Nuhu Ribadu, to snatch these 419 parasites from their homes at night whilst they are sleeping, from where they are taken to a place of detention, where they languish in jail for years before their trials even come before the courts.

I clearly remember telling you all about that in previous emails, so let's get back to what I was saying, this dossier lands on my desk at the White House, and whilst I was going through the list of scammer names, I see the name, Iyke Mbaegbu, I think to myself that this is probably just someone else who shares the same name as you, I then look at the surveillance photos in the dossier, and I see photos of you taken by our operatives going back to 2006/07, which confirm to me that you certainly are the scammer named as Iyke Mbaegbu who is in the reports, because the person in the photos is the same person in the photos you sent to me of yourself.

There is a lot written about you in the reports, and I want to know why you never told me about your involvement in 419 fraud?

Who is Barrister Idris Yusuf, and who is Dr Momoh? You are implicated with the 2 scammers who use those fake names, now I am giving you only one chance to come clean with me, because you and these people who scammed with you, are responsible for stealing a lot of money from an elderly couple from the Unitd States, this couple even had to sell some of their precious items to send fees to Barrister Idris Yusuf and Dr Momoh, and some of those fees were sent via Western Union, where the receivers name was Iyke Mbaegbu, we have all of this evidence against you, and what is making things worse for you, is the fact that the elderly couple who were scammed, are the parents of a close friend of mine, and I know this couple extremly well, so you can imagine how much I would like to see their scammers punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Iyke, I have to admit that I have grown fond of you in the time that we have emailed each other, you have shown me that you can work hard at things, and believe me when I say that I want to cut you some slack, but you need to understand that the victims were the parents of my close friend, and someone has to face the music, we don't know who Barrister Idris Yusuf or Dr Momoh are, nor do we know where they are, which only leaves you as the main suspect.

I spoke to Nuhu Ribadu about you today, he is very eager to have EFCC officers arrest you immediately and take you to a maximum security prison in Lagos, he said that because the couple scammed are close to me, the scammers will receive the severest of punishments.

If I was you, Iyke, I would not like to be imprisoned in a place like Kirikiri or Ikoyi prison in Lagos, I have heard horror stories about those places, inmates get killed there all the time, they get tortured by prison guards, they get attacked by other prisoners and they often die, which is usually put down on their death certificates as death from natural causes.

Can you see my quandry, Iyke? I like you, and wouldn't like to see you stuck in a prison for 20 years or more, or worse, killed in prison, but at the same time, I need someone to be severly punished for the crimes against my friends, it is quite unfortunate for you that of all the people on this planet, you chose to be part of a scam that involved scamming people I know and love dearly.

It sure is strange how things work out, never in my wildest dreams could I ever have imagined that the stranger (you) contacting me over a year ago, would turn out to be part of the scamming gang responsible for this horrible crime against the parents of my friend, and I'm sure you are now regretting the day that you first emailed me, I also bet that you must think you are the unluckiest person on earth right at this moment in time, I would agree that you are, but god damnit it, I am the President of the United States of America, and I will never let a criminal get away with what you and your scamming cohorts have done, but this does give me one hell of a quandry, do I just order that you are detained immediately, or do I give you a chance to come clean and tell me all about your 419 scams, and I mean ALL of your 419 scams.

Iyke, I also want to know the real names and addresses of the scammers pretending to be Barrister Idris Yusuf and Dr Momoh, the only way you are going to stay out of prison is if you supply me with their details, I want them, so you make sure you give me the correct details, otherwise I will give the order and you will vanish of the face of the earth, they might even take you to one of their secret prisons, you know, the places where you go in, but you never come out, where the only thing you have in your cell is rats and cockroaches, kept in solitary confinement for the rest of your days, never speaking with another human being again, being tortured every day, is that what you want, Iyke?

I suggest that you start sending me details as soon as you get this email, do not try to run away and hide, you are being closely monitored, if you try to run, you will be taken down.

I told Brandie not to email you, and of course, you can also forget about bringing your choir to the United States, what excuse you make up to tell them is completely up to you. Brandie knows that you are a scammer, but I have not told Luther about it, and I have advised Brandie not to tell him either, I know that girl still loves you deeply and I don't want to see her get hurt because of your scamming actions, so whilst your choir will now not be coming to the United States, there may still be a chance for you to come here on your own at some point to be with Brandie, and you may still want to work with Luther to make some records, that's why I have not told Luther about this, that option is still open for you, but this all depends on what you can do for me, by the way, I have lifted the email sanction and Brandie is now free to email you, as you are free to email her.

I have no idea how your church members will react when they find out their dreams have been ruined because of you being a 419 fraudster, I can imagine they will be upset with you, but being Godly people in a church, I expect they will forgive you, failing that, they might try to lynch you if they get very angry with you. Obviously, that might only happen if they found out the truth about you, and I doubt that you will tell them about it, then again, if you do not give me the information I want, I will personally send emails to every member of your choir, remember that you supplied me with all of the names, addresses, phone numbers and email addresses, and if I am forced to contact them all, you can be sure that I will be telling them that their names have been blacklisted, meaning that they will never be granted access to the United States at any time due to being connected to a known 419 scammer.

Even if you make up some excuse as to why the trip to the United States is off, they might still be very angry with you, so if you feel that you cannot stay where you are now due to feeling unsafe, I would advise you to leave the area and go somewhere where they can't find you, perhaps you could go back to your parents village and keep a low profile there, or go to another town and stay with friends, it's up to you, but please remember that you will be followed by our operatives wherever you go, you wont see them, but they will see you and everything you do, and before you travel anywhere, make sure you tell me exactly where you are going before you go there, I will then give our operatives the go ahead to let you travel, otherwise, if they see you leaving the are, they will take you down.

So, Iyke, there you have it, your life is in ruins right now, but you can be your own saviour, just give me the information that I requested and I will see to it that you are not punished in any way.

FEBRUARY 1ST EMAIL ENDS HERE

Until now, you were not aware of what I wrote above, but now you know, I hope things are clearer in your mind after reading it, and you know what you need to do?

Since that last email, I have again spoken with personal friends and contacts at the EFCC, now maybe it's because of who I am, but they want to make an example of you, they even suggested that other charges from unsolved murders and 419 cases could be attributed to you, and that you would be detained for a long time before being executed due to the death sentence you would receive at your trial, I told them that seemed a bit severe, but they urged me to just give them the go ahead and they would bring you in to be charged with the unsolved cases and the current case against you.

I assured them that I did not want to see you executed for your crimes, or for the other crimes they would blame on you, I would much prefer if you worked with me and gave me the full details that I requested in my February 1st email, of course, if you are not prepared to give me the informaton I require, I may just change my mind about you being executed!

Are you aware that Brandie is currently in a psychiatric hospital? She has taken this 419 news very badly and her mind has been affected by it, I have been in touch with the doctors treating her and they will be keeping me informed of her progress, I told you that I do not want Brandie to suffer for what you have done, that girl adores you, and she is probably the only thing that will saveyou in the end, well, that and you providing me with what I want from you.

I suggest that you email me as soon as possible with some positive news.

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





Laddy replied to GWB today, he made no mention of anything in my last 2 emails, probably thinks he can ignore them, all he wants to know is what's his fate with the project, not, what's my fate with 25 years in jail and a death sentence :).

Subject: I BEG YOU SIR!

Your Excellency,

Please, Sir, it would be very benevolent of you to let me know my fate in the musical project... I would like to know my stance. I have waited all these while patiently but, the silence is really killing me.

Sir, please let me know my fate.

Iyke Mbaegbu.





GWB replied wanting answers.

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Thank you for your email,

You want to know what your fate is? Well, I will tell you, your fate is in your hands, that's what your fate is.

Again, you have not answered any of the questions I asked in my last email concerning the 419 fraud you were involved in, instead, you have chosen to reply to one of the emails I sent to you months ago concerning the Volkswagen banners, why did you not reply to my last email, or the email before that which had the same content? Is it that you think you can just ignore it and that I will go away?

Please do not insult me by saying you never received my emails, because all of the emails I send have Department of Homeland security tracking features within them, which tells me when my emails have been read by you, I suggest you read my last email again and reply to it, answering ALL of the questions I asked of you.

As far as the music project is concerned, as it stands, until you give me the details that I want, there will be no further discussion of it and it will not happen. I'm sure you are aware that I have not yet told Luther of your scamming ways, if he knew about that, he would have nothing more to do with you, due to him once being scammed by someone from Nigeria, and the last thing I want to do is to hurt Brandie further than you have already hurt her, and if Luther had nothing more to do with you, Brandie would be without you because you would have no music career and would not be coming to the United States, as you can see, I am not completely without compassion, but I will come down hard on a certain person with sledgehammer blows if they do not comply completely with my requests.

All I have told Luther so far, is that there are problems getting visas for some of the choir members to travel, he has accepted that and is prepared to wait, I am trying to help you out, you need to do the same for me, but please be certain that, if you do not comply with my questions, I will tell Luther all about you and the 419 scam you were involved in, Brandie will be heartbroken, and you will be taken in to custody by the EFCC to face numerous charges that will see you locked away for many years, before being executed for your crimes, do not play games with me, Iyke, I am the magic man, and I can make you disappear.

Brandie is due to be released from the psychiatric hospital on March 4th, she will no doubt be expecting to hear that you have answered my questions, do not disappoint her and do not lie to her by saying you have replied to my questions, Brandie tells me everything and will forward me your emails, so I will find out, the ball is in your court now, you know what you need to do!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





He also mailed Brandie last night, she'll get back to him when she is released from the psychiatric hospital.

Subject: PLEASE TALK TO ME!

My Love,

What is actaully happening? I have waited all these while to hear from you. Please, if this project is no longer realisable, please do let me know. I beg you. This silence is becoming something else.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Iyke.





I had forgotten about this bait temporarily. I have not heard from the lad since his last email on March 2nd and 3rd, it's March 21st now, so GWB sent him an email a few minutes ago, if he doesn't respond to that one, then it's time for Brandie to send his naked photos to his choir :).

Dear Iyke Mbaegbu,

Again, you have failed to reply to the questions I asked of you, I will give you a little longer to reply to my last 2 emails containing the questions, because for all I know, you might be out of town visiting your ill father, I hope he is feeling better?

Make the most of your time with your father, because if you don't tell me what I want to know, you wont be around to see him again, that will be due to you being on death row!

I had an email from Brandie recently, she is recouperating well after coming out of the psychiatric hospital, she tells me that you have not even emailed her, she is mighty angry with you for not emailing her and she is saying youjust used her, she told me that she is thinking about sending your naked photos to all the members of your church to get even with you for hurting her, I have the feeling she will send them, and she does have the email addresses and postal addresses of everyone in your choir, because when you sent them to me, I of course passed them to Brandie due to her being Luthers secretary, god only know what she will say in the email she sends to them all, she did mention about telling them all that you are a 419 scammer and that's why they are not coming to the United States of America, and that you are a dirty love rat.

I suggest you email me and give the details I requested, because time is running out and I need to make a decision on your future, I use the word "future" very loosely, you might not have a future, that is up to you to decide what becomes of you!

Sincerely,

George W Bush.





What a numpty :)